Battlestar Galactica LOL Cats
Battlestar Galactica LOL Cats Redux

Netflix #25 - Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang - Suggested by Michelle and Jeff

Wow. The was by far one of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time. Robert Downey Jr. and Val Kilmer made an awesome team as a conman and gay private detective respectively. Not only was it hysterical, but the mystery/thriller aspect was hugely engaging. I love when a comedy takes it plot seriously, and doesn’t resort to a cookie cutter plot just as a means to tell some jokes. It also reminded me a lot of Family Guy and 30 Rock with its cutaway flashes of random humor. Plus Robert Downey Jr.’s narration was priceless. You need to see this movie immediately!

Netflix #26 - August Rush - Suggested by Irisgirl

This one took a while to win me over. I watched it for the first hour absolutely unimpressed. My cold, black heart wasn’t budging one bit. I thought it was ridiculously cliche and annoying. Plus Robin Williams’ storyline was not what I expected at all, and I absolutely hated the whole musical Lost Boys thing he had going on. But as the second hour progressed, my heart started to thaw and by the end I enjoyed it. I still don’t think it’s that great of a movie because of the kinda lame first hour and Robin Williams (who I normally love) but it was a cute little movie. Also: How gorgeous is Keri Russell?

Iron Man

What else is there to say about Iron Man that you haven’t already heard? It’s an incredible comic book movie on the same level as Batman Begins (although Batman Begins is still the pinnacle of comic book movies). I guess what I can say about the movie that you may not have heard yet is that it will make you like Gwyneth Paltrow again. I mean, after she nearly ruined the otherwise awesome Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow with her atrocious acting and then named her kid Apple, I was all set to be annoyed by her mere presence in the movie. But she came across totally cute and charming. There. Now go see it. Not just for me, for Gwyneth.

My Recommendation to You: The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra

You guys are nice enough to give me loads of recommendations, so it’s about time I returned the favor. So I gladly present you with a 2001 movie you’ve probably never heard of called The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra. It’s a throwback to the really bad science fiction movies of yesteryear. It’s absolutely ridiculous and wonderful. I’m not sure if it’s exactly laugh-out-loud funny, but I had a huge smile on my face the entire time I watched it. Here’s the trailer so you can get a taste for what you’re in for.

Keep your recommendations coming!

So remember when I told you the story of the transit strike? And I made that random comment about wanting the crocheted snail? Well dreams do come true!

Thanks to a group effort by readers Dave S. and Gina, along with the help of a fellow crocheter in Texas, I now have a crocheted snail of my very own! It’s just as cute and wonderful as I had hoped! Now all I need is a name for it. Please leave your suggestions in the comment section! (Please ignore the bags under my eyes. I had a really long day when I took that picture, and I gave my airbrusher the day off.)

UPDATE: I took this picture and wrote this post last night. I must have been delirious at the time because who in their right mind would post this picture of themselves? Please focus on the adorable crocheted snail.

TROODON

For this Teach Me Something Tuesday I wanted to talk about dinosaurs, because I’m all about dinosaurs. Did you know I was a Geology and Biology major in college because I wanted to be a paleontologist? Of course you did. Because you write down everything I tell you about myself in your Craig Journal and study it nightly. At first I was going to talk about one of the popular species like Tyrannosaurus Rex or Velociraptor, but then figured that wouldn’t be much of a new learning experience for you. So I’m going to teach you about Troodons, because seriously, who ever heard of these guys?

The Troodon was discovered in 1855 and was one of the first dinosaurs discovered in North America. Their fossils can be found stretching from Montana, through Alberta and all the way up to Alaska, and they lived 65 million years ago at the very end of the dinosaurs’ reign on Earth. The word “troodon” (pronounced: trow-odon) stems from a Greek word meaning “wounding tooth” because of its tooth’s deep serrations, which suggests an omnivorous (both plants and animals) diet. The Troodon was relatively small, averaging about two meters from head to tail, one meter tall, and weighing about 130 pounds. Just so you know, this is about twice the size of Velociraptors.

Now I know what you’re thinking: “What is Craig smoking? I saw Jurassic Park! Velociraptors are a lot bigger than that! He must mean Troodons were half the size of Velociraptors, not twice the size. Boy, it’s a shame someone so cute could be so stupid.” To which I point out that while Michael Crichton, author of Jurassic Park, used the correct size of Velocirators in his book, Steven Spielberg decided to make them 6 feet tall instead of 1.5 feet tall, because seriously, 1.5 tall dinosaurs aren’t all that threatening. Coincidentally, in 1993 (the year Jurassic Park came out in theaters) the Utahraptor was discovered in (you guessed it!) Connecticut. Just kidding. Utah. And the Utahraptor was 6 feet tall, just like the Jurassic Park raptors! So Steven Spielberg is even cooler than you originally thought.

What’s so special about the Troodon, you ask? Well for one, they have one of the largest brains relative to their body mass than any other dinosaur, and paleontologists theorize that they were the most intelligent dinosaurs in history and had an intelligence comparable to modern day birds. Troodons also have the most forward facing eyes of any other dinosaur, which means that it had slightly binocular vision and depth perception, a trait only found in what are considered “higher” animals (like some of us!). They also had long slender fingers, ideal for grasping prey and giving “over there” directions.

These unique characteristics led paleontologist Dale Russell and others to theorize that if dinosaurs hadn’t been wiped out by Noah’s flood the Chicxulub meteorite (the one that hit the Yucatán Peninsula in Mexico) Troodons would have been readily equipped to evolve into advanced humanoids called Dinosauroids. People are quick to point out that this model is too anthropomorphic and fantastical, and had dinosaurs been allowed to advance, they would have retained their horizontal posture and evolved along similar lines as birds. It’s also pretty conceited, because must all intelligent life have human appearance? Frankly, if I were intelligent I’d want to look like Optimus Prime.

NOW TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW.

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I always figured you guys knew I was pretty tall, but people seemed pretty surprised by my height as seen in my godfather post. I’d like to state once and for all that I am I’m six magnificent feet and four glorious inches tall.

I may not be as tall as my fellow wordpress theme user TallFreak, but I’m still tall enough to squash you like the bug you are.

Battlestar Galactica is celebrated for its daring look at controversial issues such as free will, occupancy, insurgency, and abortion. But the most controversial issue of all is: Exactly how irritating can a “good” character be before we stop rooting for them? For the love of Gods these people can be annoying! Let’s take a closer look at these characters and see what makes them so irritating, shall we? Spoilers ahead if you’re not totally caught up!

WHO: Admiral William Adama
WHY HE IS SO IRRITATING: Okay, we get it, you’re a tough guy. Enough with the raspy voice. Try a lozenge! Adama also has this ridiculous habit of yelling at people in the beginning of the episode and telling them that he never wants to see them again, then by the end of the episode, he’s sitting at their bedside telling them how much he loves them and thinks of them like a child. Half the people on Galactica are petitioning to have their last name changed to Adama. The more people he tells, the less it means, not to mention he’ll throw them under the bus once they step out of line again.
WHY HE ISN’T SO BAD: Whatever he’s doing, he seems to be doing it right. All he has to do is open his mouth and people break out in the slow clap. And by “slow clap” I mean “so say we all”.

WHO: President Laura Roslin
WHY SHE IS SO IRRITATING: Well if it isn’t Ms. Holier than Thou herself! She started off the series as a school teacher in above her head, but as Adama recently pointed out, she’s becoming progressively obsessed with finding Earth as her illness increases. Finding Earth is all fine and good, but she’s becoming increasingly cutthroat in her actions to find it because if she dies before leading humanity to Earth, it means she’s not part of the prophesy, and her life is meaningless. Sounds pretty selfish if you ask me. Oh, and enough with the glasses on, glasses off business. We get it!
WHY SHE ISN’T SO BAD: Her search for Earth can be a bit obsessive at times, but deep down, I feel that she’s working for the good of humanity.

WHO: Lee “Apollo” Adama
WHY HE IS SO IRRITATING: Because he has no idea what he wants in life. He’s spent his entire life being a pilot, but oh wait, when he was a kid he used to sneak into his grandfather’s office and read his law books. Really, Apollo? Did that really happen? He also wants to be with Starbuck, but doesn’t try hard enough when she plays hard to get by marrying someone else. And then there was this ridiculous business of Apollo not wanting to cheat and Starbuck not wanting to get a divorce. They’re all kissy kissy one minute, and then suddenly they’re members of Focus on the Family. What the hell?
WHY HE ISN’T SO BAD: We all have a hard time searching for our callings in life, and we don’t look nearly as good in a towel while searching for it.

WHO: Kara “Starbuck” Thrace
WHY SHE IS SO IRRITATING: She’s a cocky loudmouth drunk, she’s always getting herself into trouble, she has no idea what she wants in life, she makes the most god awful decisions, she married someone else because she was too scared to get with Apollo, and she always chooses the more exciting violent solution rather than the less exciting reasonable solution. She also has both Adama’s wrapped around her finger, and they do nothing but go out of their way to keep her happy, even after she pretty much killed Adama’s other son Zak.
WHY SHE ISN’T SO BAD: She’s a damn good pilot, and what ace pilot isn’t a cocky bastard? Plus she might lead humanity to Earth. Or she’s the harbinger of death. Whatever.

WHO: Dr. Gaius Baltar
WHY HE IS SO IRRITATING: First off you have that whole helping obliterate the human race business, which isn’t always the best way to get people to like you. Then you have his astounding political career which was gained through dirty politics and a sexy Cylon in his head telling him what to do so his wishy washy self never had to make a decision on his own. And now he’s some sort of messiah to the badass beauty brigade, which includes dressing like Hugh Hefner and still letting the sexy Cylon in his head tell him what to do. And he’s skeevy.
WHY HE ISN’T SO BAD: With the Cylons not being as evil as they once appeared, maybe that means he isn’t all that bad. Maybe?

WHO: Colonel Saul Tigh
WHY HE IS SO IRRITATING: We all know he only got to where he is by being friends with Adama, and what isn’t more irritating than an authority figure who doesn’t deserve their rank in society? I mean really, what has he contributed? He just barks out the orders that Adama gives him. What does XO even stand for? (Fine, it stands for Executive Officer, but it should be EO!) Remember what a disaster he was when he took over while Adama was in a coma? And don’t even get me started on what he did to his poor misunderstood hot mess of a wife Ellen.
WHY HE ISN’T SO BAD: He’s been a lot cooler since his time on New Caprica. The pirate look suits him. He still doesn’t do much though.

WHO: Lt. Karl ‘Helo’ Agathon and Lt. Sharon ‘Athena’ Valerii
WHY THEY ARE SO IRRITATING: Oh I’m sorry, are these two different characters? Because I was under the impression that they were one and the same since they haven’t had a single storyline of their own, since like, forever. Unless you count that god awful “Woman King” episode from Season 3 where the evil doctor (played by the guy who always plays a bad guy) was obviously killing people and Helo was the only person who noticed, but no one would listen to him because it was a really crappy episode. And they just kind of stand around while the Humans and the Cylons fight over their baby.
WHY THEY AREN’T SO BAD: Who are we to judge two young kids in love?

WHO: Chief Petty Officer Galen Tyrol
WHY HE IS SO IRRITATING: He’s supposed to represent the “everyman” on the show, but if every man was as irritating as he is, I’d shoot myself. He’s like a walking inadequacy issue and he’s not afraid to show it. He’s always left behind repairing the ships rather than saving the day with the pilots, Boomer left him for the much hotter Helo, and he doesn’t look nearly as good in the double tank top uniform as everyone else does. I know I’d be spending plenty of time in the therapist’s office, but he doesn’t do anything to help himself. He just complains about how horrible his life is.
WHY HE ISN’T SO BAD: The episode where he made the stealth Blackbird was pretty awesome, and it actually made him quite endearing, briefly. Plus we’d all be pretty irritating if we were married to Cally.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Petty Officer Anastasia “Dee” Dualla: You think Dee is all cute at first with her tiny ears, and she’s dating Billy which is all kinds of awesome, because who wouldn’t want to date Billy? But then he proposes and she rejects him and gets with Apollo out of nowhere! And before Billy could come crying into my tender and loving arms, he gets shot and dies.

Callandra “Cally” Henderson-Tyrol: Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard. Not to mention all the BSG-loving women of the world simultaneously sighed and shook their heads when she married the man who beat her to a bloody pulp. But let’s not worry about her anymore because, you know…

Tory Foster: She’s like the dark horse of the irritating competition. Where did she come from? She already loses points for replacing Billy (Billy!). She’s also enjoying her new Cylon powers way too much, although they do come in handy (see above). And she really needs to knock it off with the creepy sexy-time with Baltar business. Weirdo.

Admiral Helena Cain: Her character wasn’t irritating. She was just plain evil but watching her just irritated the crap out of me. She easily could have made the show completely unenjoyable. Luckily her time on the island was brief.

Kendra Shaw: Oh really? You were on the Pegasus the entire time? I’ll have to rewatch my Season 2.5 DVDs and see if I can spot you in the background. Liar!

Shevon: Who, you ask? She’s the prostitute who Apollo was seeing in the “Black Market” episode. She doesn’t even have a last name! No further explanation of her irritatingness needed.

So as you may remember, I went to Pennsylvania two weekends ago to attend the christening of my godson Matthew. Here are some pictures from the big day!

This is me and Matthew that morning. He only looks so serious because he’s nervous. He’s having trouble remembering his lines. And no, you may not bite his cheeks. That privilege is reserved for the family.

This is me, Matthew and my sister Amanda. You’ll see plenty more pictures of her when we go on our cruise to Bermuda at the end of July. Chances are we’ll both look ridiculously sloppy, so enjoy us now while we look reasonably put together!

Here’s Grandpa and Jack, Mathew’s big brother. He’s very excited. So is Jack.

This is me dressing the baby for the big event. And by “dressing the baby”, I mean “standing awkwardly behind the godmother Stacy while she does all the work, then swooping in at the last minute to help with the buttons because she just had her nails did.”

Here’s the happy family. As you can see, Matthew was being completely uncooperative for the pictures. The nerve! We considered just leaving him home.

Here we are outside the church. My nieces Emily and Jillian are burning off some energy. Jillian, the younger of the two, is also my goddaughter.

Here is an expertly taken picture by your’s truly, which actually allows there to be photo evidence of my Mom being in attendance since she’s usually the one taking pictures. I helped her pick out her outfit! She wanted green, but I demanded blue, since Matthew is a boy and not Shrek. And there’s Adam who hasn’t updated his blog in FOREVER (hint, hint).

This is where the magic happens! I had to stand a few feet back because for some strange reason the water kept boiling everytime I got closer.

This really nice nun pulled me out of the crowd to help her with a special job because she said I looked “really close to God.”

Or at least that’s what I’m pretty sure she meant when she pointed at at me, and said “There’s a tall one!” Apparently I was the only one tall enough to light the candles for the priest. On a related note: could you imagine if I had this enormous bald spot that I didn’t know about until I saw this picture? I would die.

Here I am looking very proud of myself for my special tallness skills and a job well done. I’m also counting the bonus points I get for helping out and how much they raise my chances of getting into Heaven.

Netflix #23 - The Host - Suggested by Michelle, Howard, FDot, and Brett

Not liking this movie wasn’t even in the realm of possibility. What wasn’t to love? It’s a Korean monster movie for goodness sakes! So just imagine how shocked I was when I was let down. Prior to watching The Host, I rewatched Cloverfield (which holds up nicely on the small screen by the way) so I was all set for another awesome monster movie. It started off good enough: humans suck, so they accidentally create a giant mutant monster. But what followed were some pretty serious disappointments. I shouldn’t blame the movie entirely, I just had completely different expectations. Take the monster for example. It bursts out of the water and kicks people’s asses, which is all fine and good, but I assumed that it was going to get bigger as the movie went along, because as far as movie monsters go, this one was downright puny. So everytime the monster appeared on screen and it wasn’t suddenly enormous, it was another disappointment. But it swung around like a monkey, which was neat so I kept watching. The movie kept going and the main characters seemed to be getting picked off one by one. For a brief moment, the unassuming and totally awesome Aunt (who happens to be an archery champion) appears to be emerging as the Ellen Ripley of the movie. The music starts pumping, she’s running with her bow in hand, and I sit up in my seat, super excited at the idea of her charging into the monster’s den and kicking some serious monster ass. But no. She gets knocked out and doesn’t come back until the end of the movie. Another disappointment. And the virus storyline? What was the point of that? Why couldn’t it just be a monster movie? Why did there have to be this completely tacked on government conspiracy subplot? Maybe if I watched it again, I’d be able to enjoy it more, since I won’t have any false expectations, but chances are I won’t.

Netflix #24 - Idiocracy - Suggested by Hayes

I really enjoyed this one. You’ve probably never heard of it, but it’s a science fiction comedy starring Luke Wilson, Maya Rudolph, and Dax Shepard made by the same guy who did Office Space. Luke Wilson plays an average guy who goes into cryogenic sleep for 500 years and wakes up in time where everyone on Earth is a complete moron. Not only is it really funny, but it makes some very good cultural points. For example, water has been replaced by a Gatorade-type beverage, and everyone just blindly drinks it (and uses it to water crops) because it has electrolytes, yet no one has a damn clue what an electrolyte is (as a matter of fact, neither do I) but apparently it’s what “crops crave”. There’s also some really great scenes that take place in a future hospital and sadly, the hospital staff doesn’t seem that much dumber than some health care workers I’ve dealt with. It almost reminded me of a live-action South Park in it’s absolute absurdity (don’t forget Maya Rudolph is in this, and she plays a prostitute of course) but still smart enough to be absurd in new and clever ways. I’d definitely recommend this one for a rainy day if you need something different to watch.

Keep your recommendations coming!

PENCILS

Today we’re going to talk about the wild and exciting world of pencils! Wait! No! Come back! I promise I’ll make it amusing. Did you know that the word pencil comes from the Latin word “pencillus” which means “little tail”? Like, what the fuck? And did you know I got duped into taking Latin in college because it was called “Medieval Studies 101″ but then in itty bitty (which is approximately 15% smaller than teeny weeny) fine print it said “also see: Latin 101″ and on the first day of class all ready to learn about Knights and Wizards and Catapults, the professor was like: “To truly appreciate Medieval culture, you must first understand the marvelous language of Latin.” and I was like: “Say what?”

So anyway, the first pencils were used in Rome and were thin lead sticks. It wasn’t until the 1600’s when a huge graphite deposit was found in England that people started making pencils using graphite instead of lead. Since graphite is a lot softer than lead, it needed to be wrapped in something to keep it together, so it was usually wrapped in string or sheepskin to keep it from falling apart. This is the point of the post where I was going to say that they also make condoms out of sheepskin and warn you that while they do prevent pregnancy, they don’t prevent transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, but then I looked it up and it turns out that sheepskin condoms are made out of lamb intestines. Apparently lamb intestines aren’t sexy, and would ruin all marketing opportunities. Evidently the phrase “sheepskin” is orgasmic. Bah, Bah, Black Sheep indeed.

An Italian couple named Simonio and Lyndiana Bernacotti are credited with inventing the first wood encased pencil, used primarily for their carpentry business. Originally the wood was hollowed out and the graphite was inserted, but it didn’t take long for people to realize it was easier to cut the wood in half, and then glue it back together to encase the graphite, which is the same method used to this day. The wood-encased pencil spread throughout Europe, being manufactured primarily in England and Germany. Due to the Napoleonic wars in the early 1800’s, imports of graphite and pencils to France were ceased because no one liked them. This amuses me because I bet Napoleon had a very little tail, if you know what I mean. So France had to manufacture their own pencils by stretching their comparatively smaller supply of graphite by adding clay.

The primary wood used in pencil manufacturing is called Incense-Cedar, and is used because it is relatively soft, allowing it to be sharpened without splintering, and has a pretty smell (and who doesn’t love a fine smelling wood?). The tradition of pencils being painted yellow was started in 1890 by the Austro-Hungarian company L & C Hardtmuth Company and is thought to be inspired by the Austro-Hungarian flag which is simply yellow and black. Supposedly these pencils were of the highest quality, so other pencil companies painted their pencils yellow in the hopes of being associated with the high quality of the L & C pencils. And as they say: imitation is the highest form of plagiarism.

NOW TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW.