THE TRAGIC LIFE OF A MUDDY BEAR

A good friend recently introduced me to the wonderfulness that are Muddy Bears. They are in fact chocolate covered gummi bears. Two of my favorite worlds were suddenly combined in a mouthful of flavor. However my jubilation was suddenly squandered when I saw the cartoon on the front of the box. The bear looks so happy to be getting covered in chocolate. But I’m afraid the scene ends a bit more tragically.

I’m sure it unfolded with something like: “Oh boy! I’m getting covered in chocolate! WEEEE! This is great. I love chocolate. HEE HEE! It’s so sticky! Yummy yummy in my tummy! Uh okay, I think that’s enough chocolate, you silly goose! It’s getting in my mouth. Turn it off pretty please with a cutesy wutesy cherry on top! Okay, I’m serious now. It’s getting hard to breath. Help! Cough cough! This son of a bitch is drowning me in chocolate! Get me the fuck out of all this chocolate! I can’t feel my legs! I CAN’T FEEL MY FUCKING LEGS! COUGH COUGH COUGH… can’t… breathe… cough……”

I’m glad they leave that part out of the packaging cartoon. I think it would be a bit too tragic for small children to handle.