Where we read the stars and Yahoo Horoscopes to tell the fortune the only way Puntabulous knows:
Aries:
Anything is possible, especially with a fiery type like yourself at the helm of this particular enterprise. Make sure you clear your head of any extraneous material (self-doubt, other people’s unasked for opinions, self-consciousness, etc.) and you’ll be fine.
Hold on, I went to college for 4 years so I’ll need to clear out all that knowledge from my head also… done.
Scorpio:
Self-motivation is the name of the game, especially around career matters, so spend your time carving out an independent path, and you’ll be happier in the end. Any sense of limbo you had will definitely dissipate.
Who the fuck cares about limbo? I was always more of a musical chairs kinda guy anyway.
Taurus:
Plans made right now are set in stone, so make sure that you’re signing up for things that you’re absolutely committed to. Reliable types like yourself don’t take even casual social obligations lightly, you know.
Good thing I just scheduled sex with Jack Gyllenhaal for tonight. Even if I’m the only one who agreed to it, they’re set in stone damn it.
Aquarius:
Make a peace offering to someone who’s been on edge around the office, and forgive them for underestimating you. After all, you’re about to pull off the coup of the year, so you can afford to be magnanimous.
It’s okay that you underestimated me. How about you tell me what the fuck “magnanimous” means and we’ll call it even.