In today’s edition of Puntabulous Halloween Costumes, I will concentrate on getting all the ladies in the house prepared for Halloween. All of the following costumes are available at: BuyCostumes
“The heart was originally gonna say “desperate”, but I didn’t have any ‘D’s. I think my point still gets across though.”
“Oh! I get it! Pigs in a blanket! That’s kinda cute.”
“Oh! I get it! Mustard! Oh wait, that sucks.”
“The dorkiness of a costume is directly proportional to how elaborate it is. And mine is pretty f-ing elaborate.”
“Remember when I was an American icon? Yeah, me neither.”
“The first third of my costume is really good. But the second two thirds of my costume is pretentious nonsense.”
“What costume?”
“My what big eyes you have! And what big ears you have! And what big teeth you have! Holy crap your penis is tiny!”
“Care to stick that wooden leg of yours in the poop deck?”*
*Poop deck is an actual nautical term. I could not make that shit up.
“On the island we had to make everything out of coconuts. Tampons were no exception.”
“I don’t even know what the fuck I’m supposed to be. The costume packaging just said ‘skank with a big green hat’.”
“No really. What costume?”
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the big hat costume is THE MAD HATTER from Alice and Wonderland or is it Alice in Wonderland. whatever I played the mad hatter in the 5th grade play and my costume was skankier than that!