Nov
1
So what I would like is a personal air-brusher. Someone just to make sure I look my best at all times. I don’t want to work out, seeing as though that would take me away from my reality television and general laziness. I don’t want to get a tan, since that would require me to experience too much sunlight (sunlight makes Craig cranky and irritable). And I don’t want to wear make-up because I’m way too manly for that. Ha! Just kidding, but guys who wear make up are gross.
So what I need is for someone to sit in a room somewhere (I don’t care where, China perhaps? I hear labor is cheaper there) and digitally enhance me. The further away they are the better. I don’t need someone following me around literally touching me up. Digital is the new way to beauty my friend. A little tan here, a bit more clear skin there, and the most amazing set of six pack abs, anytime, anywhere.
Some of you may be thinking “But Craig, I think you’re drop dead gorgeous just the way you are.” I hate to disagree with my readers, so I won’t. You are exactly right. But who can’t stand to be a bit more gorgeous?
