Where we read the stars and Yahoo Horoscopes to tell the fortune the only way Puntabulous knows:
Leo:
Think carefully about every dime you spend, it’s a necessary evil right now. This type of financial meticulousness may not come naturally, but you know what they say about necessity.
Necessity may be the mother of invention, but laziness is the cool uncle who buys you beer of doing things the old fashioned way.
Virgo:
Being with your special someone is what will make you happiest now, so be sure to spend as much time as possible in their company. Being with you is all the reward they’ll need.
I keep telling people how rewarding it is to spend time with me, but they don’t believe me. It’s okay, I don’t believe them either when they say that volunteer work is rewarding.
Aquarius:
You’ve finally made that secret decision, but you’re still wondering what to do about the specifics. Well, be sure to give yourself plenty of options; the devil is in the details.
That’s odd, I thought the devil was in Hell? Slowly proding the person who came up with high school gym class with various sharp objects over an open flame for all of eternity? At least that’s how I’ve always imagined it. Sigh. Hell is such a magical place.