Nov
30
So I was watching Sex and the City with my roommate, when the girls started dicussing their SSBs or their Secret Single Behaviors. Carrie’s was eating chocolate while standing (yes standing) in the kitchen reading fashion magazines. I tried to think of my secret single behavior and I had a hard time pinpointing what it would be. But then it hit me, MY WHOLE LIFE IS A SECRET SINGLE BEHAVIOR. I am a creature of habit and I must do several specific things during the day or else I will slip into a coma and die. And here they are:
1) Make tomorrow’s lunch the night before. Usually peanut butter and jelly. Must make sandwich the night before because my mornings are very regimented and I wouldn’t have time to do it then.
2) Shower. I need to shower everyday. Even if I’m going to stay at home in my pajamas all day, I still need to shower and get back into my pajamas. The reason for this being that my hair and skin are oily mother fuckers. You could fry chicken with all the grease that’s on my face when I wake up in the morning.
3) Stand in the same exact spot for the subway everyday. That is where the subway doors open up for me to enter, and to exit at my stop near the staircase I need.
4) Lunch. Always at 1 on the dot. Usually peanut butter and jelly, but you knew that already.
5) Apples. Buy 4 Granny Smith apples every Monday after work. Eat an apple every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday nights. I always cut up the apple before eating it because I don’t like eating apples off of the core. Granny Smiths are my favorite. Mmmmm. I could eat a Granny all night.
