On my never ending search for a succulent turkey dinner for Thanksgiving, I followed the Turkey I was hunting to a cranberry bog:

Unfortunately, nothing can be done to stop one of nature’s most crafty beasts:

I wasn’t sure how to handle this news:

Ricky Martin told fans perhaps a little more about his sex life than some wanted to know. “I love giving the golden shower,” he told Blender. “I’ve done it before in the shower. It’s like so sexy, you know, the temperature of your body and the shower water is very different.”

Naturally, I was immediately tempted to draw an MSPaint of Ricky Martin peeing all over a willing participant in his fiendish games. But then I would have to decide whether the participant is a male or female. Would I want to touch on the gay rumors? Then there’s the whole nudity thing. I just don’t think I’m ready to draw pixelated genitalia. Maybe one day, but not today.

Instead, I chose a more artistic rendition. Take from it what you will:

Suzy Preston made it to the final three last night on the Biggest Loser! This was all taped months ago, and the final three go home and lose the rest of the weight on their own. Then next week, there is a live finale and we see which of the three lost the most weight. Clearly Suzy will win. Here she is defeating the two guys in the final three with her.

You will notice that she is not wearing glasses anymore, because she no longer needs to hide her insecurites behind them. Although technically, I think it would be easier for her to hide behind the glasses now than when she started the show, but I have a tendency to take things too literally.

Chances are, this will not help prevent the “Rob Thomas is gay” rumors.

Here I am on the subway:

Guess which one is me and win a free lifetime subscription to puntabulous.com.

Here I am picking apples for apple pie, which I will enjoy with my family on Thanksgiving.

Which my family will enjoy.

Here I am when I appeared in the feature length documentary March of the Penguins:

Unfortunately, like every celebrity, I couldn’t escape the rumor that I was sleeping with my fellow cast members:

I know the penguin looks quite frightened in the above picture, but believe me, he loved every minute of it. I mean, he would have loved it if it weren’t a vicious rumor.

Well we’ve finally made it to the week of Thanksgiving! And by “finally made it” I mean “Holy crap, how is it possibly Thanksgiving already!?” So you all know what that means: Turkey! Here I am hunting for a succulent Thanksgiving feast.

But unfortunately, I was outsmarted:

This isn’t the first time I was outsmarted by poultry though. One time a chicken lured me into her car and the next thing I remembered I was handcuffed naked to a bed in Guadalajara. I was so mad when I realized she stole my wallet. Everything else was pretty ordinary.

Alright, as some of you may have noticed, some of my older pictures haven’t been loading lately. But they have all moved to the new server and will be working properly. Now you can enjoy all the oldies but goodies. Like my personal favorite.