Puntabulous

Judging by some of the comments on my previous post, some of you took me a bit seriously. Some comments were: “Sounds puntabulously lonely to me…” and “Why are you such a loner?”

Anyone who knows me knows that I don’t like to be alone ALL the time, so here I am making another wish upon a star:

I wished that everyone in the world could hold hands like brothers and sisters, and that none of us would ever have to be alone ever again. Because we can share this magical world called Earth in peace and harmony forever and ever.

And here I am vomiting over the sappyness of the above picture:

Happy now?

Here I am wishing upon a star:

Here is my wish come true:

What you don’t see, is that I am the only person left on the face of the planet.

My hair is getting out of control. As my hair grows, it doesn’t grow longer, it grows BIGGER. It’s like a white person version of an afro. It’s beginning to weigh me down.

I haven’t even been able to shower in three days because the cat that’s nesting in my hair gave birth to kittens.

Here I am when I appeared briefly in the movie Alien:

Editor’s note: There was nothing I could do to prevent the alien bursting out of my chest from looking like a penis.

Editor’s note 2: Okay maybe I could’ve prevented it in some way or another, but that’s just not my style.

Suzy Preston made it through another night of eliminations last night on The Biggest Loser. Only one more elimination until the live finale between the final three! EEK!

So in last night’s episode of The Biggest Loser, Suzy mentioned how she can’t clear her mind when she does yoga exercises. I know exactly how she feels because I took yoga in college to get my gym requirement (clearly yoga was a popular choice among the gays). I always found that yoga was the time when songs such as “Total Eclipse of the Heart” and “Summer Loving” would get stuck in my head and I wouldn’t be able to clear my mind and perform yoga properly.

Here is a picture of me and Suzy doing yoga:

Holy crap nuggets! I am the number 1 result in the Google search for “witty sentences”.

WOW!

How come nobody told me I was so witty? I thought the whole point of my blog was to be sad and pathetic. Now I have to rethink my strategy!

Here I am when I appeared briefly in the pilot of Lost:

I tried to jump from the tail section to the forward section in the hopes of becoming a main character. Unfortunately I didn’t make it and fell into the ocean. I can be seen later on playing Corpse #4. My original character was later replaced by Michelle Rodriguez.

Don’t forget to watch tonight’s episode of The Biggest Loser.

Judging by this ad on the NBC website, it appears as though the contestants have to fight for immunity by milking a giant robotic cow. Should be interesting! Stay tuned!

Here I am attending a very important meeting at work:

Don’t I look important? No? Smart? No? Round? YES!

Here I am when I appeared in the movie Revenge of the Sith:

My apprentice turned to the dark side, so I had to battle him. He somehow survived getting three limbs cut off and being burnt to a crisp. But I’ll just assume he’s gonna die of natural causes. See you later!