Puntabulous

I decided not to do Daily Horoscopes anymore. I don’t think anyone was reading them. If you beg to differ, and strongly recommend that I continue them, please let me know in the comments section. Otherwise I will put more time into drawings and stupidity.

In friday’s post I complained about people doing the Charlie’s Angels pose when they take a picture. I kindly suggested other options for trios to pose with a lot more originality. I decided to put my MSPaint where my mouth is and depict my favorite suggestion:

See how much more original that is? So next time you find yourself in a group of three, and someone takes a picture. Don’t point your fingers in the shape of guns and try your best (but still heinous) sexy face. Instead, morph into a fruit, sweet or flavoring extract prepared from the cured seedpods of various tropical American vines of the genus Vanilla in the orchid family.

Alright people. Enough is enough. Just because you are taking a picture with three people, does not make it okay to do a Charlie’s Angels pose. We’ve all seen it, some of us have done it. But it’s not funny anymore. Please thing of something else. Other trios perhaps?

Luke, Han, Leia?

Batman, Robin, Batgirl?

Zach Morris, A.C. Slater, Kelly Kapowski?

Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston?

Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry?

Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, L. Ron Hubbard?

Please do us all a favor and not do this lame pose anymore. So you don’t look stupid and we don’t have to pretend to laugh when we see it.

Thanks bunches!

I wrote a haiku about how the O.C. is incredibly not funny this season. Everyone is in a bad mood and being WAY dramatic about everything. We can’t even count on Seth anymore for good comic relief. I hope you like it:

The O.C. is drab,
No one’s having any fun,
They should add a fag.

A sassy gay character is exactly what the O.C. needs. I mean, the more stereotypical the better. Just when Ryan and Marisa break up for the millionth time, he should just burst into the scene and add a bit of comedy to the mix, which is completely lacking this season.

And then make out with Ryan and Seth.

Today, someone told me I have a smooth voice over the phone. I find that odd since, I generally hate talking on the phone.

So although I really look like this:

Other people hear this:

Somewhere along the line, the electrons making up my scrawny (read: “gay”) white boy voice, turn into Barry White. Who am I to complain though? The ladies love Barry White.

Oh wait.

Where we read the stars and Yahoo Horoscopes to tell the fortune the only way Puntabulous knows:

Leo:

Think carefully about every dime you spend, it’s a necessary evil right now. This type of financial meticulousness may not come naturally, but you know what they say about necessity.

Necessity may be the mother of invention, but laziness is the cool uncle who buys you beer of doing things the old fashioned way.

Virgo:

Being with your special someone is what will make you happiest now, so be sure to spend as much time as possible in their company. Being with you is all the reward they’ll need.

I keep telling people how rewarding it is to spend time with me, but they don’t believe me. It’s okay, I don’t believe them either when they say that volunteer work is rewarding.

Aquarius:

You’ve finally made that secret decision, but you’re still wondering what to do about the specifics. Well, be sure to give yourself plenty of options; the devil is in the details.

That’s odd, I thought the devil was in Hell? Slowly proding the person who came up with high school gym class with various sharp objects over an open flame for all of eternity? At least that’s how I’ve always imagined it. Sigh. Hell is such a magical place.

Before nap:

After nap:

I don’t understand how I grew a six pack during my nap, but some things are better left unexplained.

Through my site counter, I can see how people come across my blog. Many people find it by using a search engine to search for things I talk about such as “Halloween Costumes” and “The Biggest Loser”. Every once in a while, I come across a diamond in the rough. A search so unfathomably random, that I didn’t even know such searches existed. Not only am I shocked to find out what people are searching for, I’m shocked that these very searches lead directly to me.

I am the 105th (Wow! Moving up in the world!) result for the Google UK (I’m so worldly too!) search for “Jake Gyllenhaal bi?”

Does this mean that I talk about Jake Gyllenhaal too much? Is there even such a thing? And I would NEVER suggest that Jake is bisexual. I do not know him, and I would never make any accusations of the sort about anyone, without meeting them first.

All I’m saying is that him and Heath Ledger look awfully cozy in that documentary about their lives that is coming out soon.

Wait.

It’s not a documentary? It’s a fictional movie about gay cowboys?

Eh, close enough.

Where we read the stars and Yahoo Horoscopes to tell the fortune the only way Puntabulous knows:

Aries:

Get all that socializing out of your system now, because for the next day or so, you may not be much in the mood for other people. No, that’s not like you, but we’re all entitled to hibernate. It’s your turn.

I wish I could hibernate. I thought laying around, eating and being anti-social would be close enough. Turns out there is a whole world of laziness I have yet to explore.

Cancer:

Still thinking about sunny beaches and cruise ships? You haven’t indulged yet, but why keep resisting? You deserve some recreation time. Make the reservations — and take your favorite travel buddy along.

But you can only take one. There was this one time, when I was traveling, and I had two travel buddies. They kept fighting all the time, it was terrible. I had to choose one, so I picked Gollum. I’m happy with my choice.

Once again, Suzy Preston kicked ass and took names on tonight’s episode of The Biggest Loser. Not only did she lose 10 pounds, but she gave another contestant Matt a haircut, which made him look ten times better.

I am certain Suzy is going to make it to the final 3. (After the original taping, the final 3 go home to lose the rest of the weight on their own and come back for a final live weigh in). She is so gonna win. And I called it from the beginning!

But if Suzy doesn’t win, she could always move to New York and earn money by rolling me around after my god-like metabolism eventually withers away and I turn into a fatty.