Puntabulous

If one ever finds themselves trapped in the future, it is important to know the customs and rituals of the civilization of the future.

In today’s edition: UNDERWATER BUBBLE CITIES

Suckees — people brought to the future by being sucked through a wormhole — are always shocked to see that the living situations of the people of the future is far different than anything they were previously accustomed to.

There are many housing options available to the citizens of the future. Without thinking, Suckees often ask to be housed in Underwater Bubble Cities. Before their inception, the concept of Underwater Bubble Cities seemed glamorous and an ideal locale for luxurious living. Unfortunately, the reality of these living situations is much less glamorous in practice.

While it is possible to live in a Underwater Bubble City, there is no work to be found there. Commuting to dry land every morning can be an arduous task, especially given the poor reliability of the Dolphin Express. Unless one has a mastery of the dolphin language, it is difficult to communicate to your dolphin transport exactly where you would like to be taken. There is also the fact that once your dolphin transport makes it to dry land, they are often beached and killed. A terrible price to pay for transportation to be sure, but the joy of riding dolphins has made it a difficult practice to give up.

The first Underwater Bubble City was established in the year 2385 after 36 years of construction. The first group of people to take up residency in the Underwater Bubble City were the 28,620,587 people who were forced from the world’s shorelines due to the rise in water levels caused by the displaced water from the construction of the Underwater Bubble City.

Since 2385, 16 more Underwater Bubble Cities have been constructed. With the growth of the human Underwater Bubble population, many of the secrets of the ocean bottom have been revealed. Giant squids are even larger than anticipated. Thirteen new species of shark have been discovered. Mermaids have been found to exist, are extremely intelligent creatures, and taste great with a sweet, bourbon sauce.

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