I know this is long overdue. But I hope you enjoy!
Hello! I’m home!
Hello mother!
Hello son!
Hello father!
Hello son!
You’re not going to believe my news!
I’m…
…married!
WHAT!?
This is Natalie Portman, my wife.
And we are in love.
I guess I should start calling you Mom and Dad now, huh?
Actually, no, you shouldn’t.
Wait a second, I may be a wee bit tipsy. Did our son just say he married the girl from “Pirates of the Caribbean”?
Must… kill… Natalie… Portman…
Why can’t you ever just be happy for me!?
I hate you! We don’t need this abuse! Let’s go to our room!
Come Natalie Portman, my wife. Look at our new home!
Isn’t it great!?
This sucks. It’s fucking tiny. And it has a twin bed!
Come on sweetie! If anyone can make it work, we can!
Fuck this bed is tiny! Can’t you give me an inch, woman! God I hate you!
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That totally brightened my day! I laughed sooooo hard. Thanks Craig!
Make Natalie be the big spoon.
Excellent post once again!
I am still laughing and now people in the office are looking at me.
NO…I am not sipping from my flask at work people!!! YOU.MUST.GO.TO.PUNTABULOUS.NOW!!!
Ok…so I LOVED this Craig. Once again you made my day…
lmfao! OMG.. fucking brilliant.
why’s she so stiff? tell her to whore around more and then come back to bed
OMG!!!! I’VE MISSED U!!!! PLEASE HAVE MORE NATALIE PORTMAN UR WIFE. ITS BEEN TOOO LONG. THANX FOR BRIGHTENING MY DAY.
Your parents are Clrois Leachman and Bea Arthur???? I am SO jealous! Bad enough you’re married to Natalie Portman, but to have them as parents as well. My envy knows no bounds.
You are cute and super funny!
All the best with your new life with the rents.
Love your blog.
Your fan in Vancouver.
Who is this Christophe person? *I* am your fan in Vancouver!
Thanks for the great laugh!
Your Dad is looking alittle rough there. Maybe he needs a facial?
Looks like a Vancouver fan fight. Fight for Craig’s love!
Craig loves you all equally. It’s just that he loves ME a little, eensy weensy tiny bit more.
Or so I like to think.
i’ve never been here before but OMG this cracked me up!
You must be still fighting with Natalie Portman, your wife since it has been about a week since you last posted. Please let her win the arguments. She does have a gun…
I don’t fight with my wife.
I beat her.
Lionel!
I’m so proud of you.
You are way too good for that slut Natalie Portman. You’d better watch out for your dad Bea Arthur, tho, I think his hostility towards your wife stems from a secret lust for her.
and the saga continues…..
Wow, three Vancouver Puntabulous readers. We should form some sort of incredibly sad fan club. With jackets. Jackets are a must.
Alberta in the hizouse! (ok i’m not that cool)
Perhaps a Canadian Fan Club would be a good idea?
Can we get those bright shiny bomber jackets—in aquamarine!?
Yay Vancouver Puntabulous readers! We should all get together with our homemade “We love Puntabulous” signs, take photos, and then send them to Craig.
[...] 3) The fact that I haven’t done a post with Natalie Portman, my wife, in FOREVER. Seriously! What is wrong with me? She’s seriously in the garage. I hope she survived the winter. Imagine if I take her out of the garage and she’s been eaten by mice? That would be tragic. But then again, imagine the wacky cast of characters we could have at a Puntabulous Funeral. That could be fun! I mean tragic. [...]