Jun
13
You’ll need to excuse the blatant gender stereotypes.
Top five things that make me a man:
1) I have one pair of sneakers. When these get worn out, I will throw them away and buy a new pair. This usually happens once a year. There is no coordinating with my outfit.
2) I will die happy, knowing I never had a manicure or peticure. I would also never use the phrase “mani-peti”.
3) I know how to avoid getting caught in a tractor beam.
4) I know what a tractor beam is.
5) I’m very gasy in the morning, and I generally don’t care who is in bed with me, it’s coming out. Just keep your head out from under the sheets and we’ll all get through this. (And why does nobody want to date me again?)
Top five things that make me a woman:
1) I played in my High School marching band for 4 years. I had to go to every home football game. I still have no fucking clue how that game works.
2) I still have trouble killing bugs. If I’m lucky, I can trap it under a paper cup and have a big strong man kill it for me (or my mom).
3) I wish I were Wonder Woman. Sometimes I practice her twirling. You know, just in case.
4) Colin Firth, wet shirt scene. Nuff said.
5) I fantasize about my wedding day. This is a particularly embarrassing one, but in my defense: BEST WEDDING EVER.
June 13th, 2006 at 11:08 pm
The shoe thing will change with age.
My dh was a one pair at a time man….then something clicked and the man has more shoes now than Imelda Marcos (and yes, the reference dates me, I know).
Maybe having credit or cash does something to even the manliest geeks out there…..but boy does he love Timberland.
The gas thing never goes away.
June 13th, 2006 at 11:49 pm
Dude..I am SO your wedding planner. InStyle will devote the ENTIRE two hours to your wedding!
June 13th, 2006 at 11:56 pm
What’s that sound? Could it be the sound of illusions being shattered? or maybe it’s the sound of gas in the morning lol
June 13th, 2006 at 11:59 pm
And Miss/Mr/Ms Carpets… does dh mean dear heart? or am i being thick? If it is what I think I shall be pinching it!
June 14th, 2006 at 5:36 am
Tractor Beam 101 should be taught in all high schools in the nation. When I am President, I’ll make it so.
June 14th, 2006 at 9:48 am
Do you think InStyle will find me a husband and pay for it also?
June 14th, 2006 at 10:13 am
wedding schmedding. I call all-night Pride & Prejudice marathon!!!
June 14th, 2006 at 12:34 pm
dh means dear/damn husband, it’s forum speak
ONE WEEK TO BB7 VOTING!
Ooh you could get your own show! Like the millionaire one but without a millionaire.
June 14th, 2006 at 9:09 pm
Right, so I’m officially thick…
On the subject of BB - check out the latest Brit BB… Feaks ahoy. It has become the 2006 equivalent of Victorians enjoying a family day out by going to poke sticks at the inmates of mental institutions lol
June 14th, 2006 at 9:28 pm
LMAO…..thanks for the visual robertj…..that is great!