Me and Natalie Portman, my wife, don’t have the perfect marriage, but we find ways to make it work.
Go Monkeys! Go!
Watcha doin?
Playing Super Monkey Ball Deluxe.
How do you play?
Sweetie, I can’t see.
Look what you made me do to my Monkey Balls!
I’m sorry Natalie Portman, my wife. I didn’t mean to snap like that. I know we’ve been a bit distant lately.
I know what we can do!
Let’s play “Gues the Celebrity”!
Yay!
You go first.
Okay, guess who I’m being!
Kiera Knightley!
Camryn Manheim!
Kiera Knightley!
Rosie O’Donnell!
Kiera Knightley!
Fatty Fatty Fat Fat!
I hate your family. You go.
Okay, guess who I’m being.
Hmm, wearing glasses, trying to look smart, but still dumb as a rock.
I know! You’re Tara Reid in “Alone in the Dark”!
Correct!
My turn!
Hmmm, you’re half the woman you used to be. And the half that’s left of you isn’t even the good half.
I know!
You’re Britney Spears!
Correct!
My turn again!
My girlfriend this, my girlfriend that, my girlfriend, my girlfriend, my girlfriend.
Girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend, girlfriend.
I know! You’re Brandon Routh in every single interview he does lately to fight off those pesky gay rumors!
Correct!
See sweetie, we can work through any crisis with a little love and humor!
Now get out of here, the game is starting.
Cirque du Soleil doesn’t count as “the game”.
Silence woman.
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14 users responded in this post
you rock man
Well, Craig, I’m officially engaged now. I will be using this post to get through any marital problems that may occur (not started by me, I’m perfect).
And that line about the game killed me!
Happy 4th of July Craig and Natalie! It is good to see that the two of you are still together! Has natalie spent any time by the pool yet in Long Island?
*giggle* If only you weren’t married, Craig!
Yay Craig! I LIVE for your Natalie Portman posts.
Hee……I am so glad you share your marital secrets with the world.
Makes things better for the rest of us.
If you had seen us sitting up till 2 am last night discussing the complexities and faults of the current superman flick.
CRAIG, YOU ARE THE CUTEST!!!!!!!!!!! I adore you!
Yay, more with Natalie Portman, your wife! I LOVE those!
Glad to see your dad is still alive!
“Look what you made me do to my Monkey Balls!” - BWAHAHAHAHAHAH!! You kill me! I;’m crying here!
You are adorable and these things just make my day!
POLT
(go AQUAMAN!)
Hilarious!!! I do adore you!
Hah hah! At first I thought your humour was infectous, then I thought it was your eyes, now damn you it is your knees that are super cute. Keep it rolling!
My knees are even cuter when they’re over my head.
Heeeyy!
Ahh Craig…
If only you weren’t gay and already married to the hottest woman in America, maybe I would have stood a chance.
You and your wife sure look happy today, did Super Viagra pay you both a visit last night? Satisfying for both of you, each in your own unique way…
Brilliant, as usual!
Tell Me What a Dork I Am!