Jul
30
Here are the top ten things that make Puntabulous nervous:
1) Winkers. How does one respond to a wink? Do you wink back? Do you just nod in acknowledgement? It’s a tough situation, made even worse when it’s an acquaintance you see on a regular basis.
2) Actors talking with really exaggerated Asian accents in movies. This includes, but is certainly not limited to, the Thai prostitue in Bridget Jones and the Edge of Reason.
3) Being a lonely 40 year old in a bar flirting with a 20-something, not realizing how pathetic the 20-something thinks I am.
4) When white people call black women “girl”. They can see right through your charade, you damn cracker.
5) Meeting fabulous gay guys in social occassions. Yes, I know I’m awkward looking, let’s just talk about the weather or something.
6) Everytime I see a really great movie, or read a really great book. It usually causes this strange mix of inspiring me to write more, or ask myself “why bother?”. This is oftentimes made worse by writers my age. I’m looking at you Dan Harris!
7) Summertime. Really? Shorts season again already?
When my tummy growls. Yes, I can say that I am nervous everytime my tummy growls, because my tummy only growls (loudly, might I add) during tests and meetings, or all other times of quietude.
9) Shoulder hair. I only have a few, but it’s those long black hairs that I just know are plotting against me and anxious to take over my back.
10) Urinal conversation. No explanation necessary.
July 31st, 2006 at 4:29 am
Wait till you are 40 it’ll be the hair sprouting from your nose and ears that will pre-occupy you (sob)
July 31st, 2006 at 10:39 am
Always wink back when people wink at you, and smile. That way the person will know you’re not taking it seriously, or you are but with a hint of joke. You can’t go wrong with that.
July 31st, 2006 at 12:13 pm
When someone winks at me, my natural reaction is always to look around to see who they’re winking at.
July 31st, 2006 at 12:15 pm
The next time someone winks at you, punch them in the face. They won’t be expecting it, so their reaction is bound to be HILariOUS!
July 31st, 2006 at 6:42 pm
i make it a point always never to make urinal conversation its not a place for chit chat its a place for one thing and one thing only and we all know what that is hmm wait do we though look now i even confused myself
July 31st, 2006 at 9:38 pm
Now just imagine if all those things happened all at once!
A 40 year old with shoulder hair, winking at you in the urinal as your tummy growls, and calling you (a fabulous gay guy) “girl” with his fake Asian accent.
July 31st, 2006 at 10:02 pm
BWAHAHAHA, loved Colleen’s post!
I’d modify the last one to say that unrinal conversation makes me nervous…UNLESS, the guy talking to me is REALLY hot and is listing for me things he wants to do for and to me sexually whilst checking out lil Polt.
July 31st, 2006 at 10:22 pm
Hee hee! I like Jo’s answer!
August 16th, 2006 at 2:00 pm
I totally agree about the wink. Whenever that happens I just freeze like a deer in headlights for a second and then look away. The wink should be banned along with the high 5.