Puntabulous

It finally happened! I orgasmed! Well let me clarify. I spontaneously orgasmed. Although, can it be considered spontaneous if it was brought on by something? Maybe spontaneous is the wrong word. Hmmmmm. Alright, spontaneous it is. So what brought about this glorious mess you ask? The most romantic letter I’ve ever received in my entire life, that’s all!

Now I’ve received romantic letters from people on Myspace before. You can read them HERE and HERE. But this one is by far the best.

Now prepare yourself for some powerful prose:

From: b

Subject: hi

Body: how hung man? trade x pic and face?

Now I understand if it took a while for that to sink in. I had to read it at least 5 or 6 times before the message he was trying to send really hit me. Then — ORGASM.

Let’s take a closer look shall we?

First there’s the subject of his message. “hi” So simple, and yet so profound. Note the lowercase h and i. It really reminded me of the quote by Erich Segal, author of the 1970 novel and film “Love Story”. “True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked.” How right you are Erich. How right you are! b, you came in with a whisper, but it went straight into the very depths of my soul.

Next there is the first sentence: “how hung man?”. Why would he ask how hung I am? Do such things actually matter to gay men? Is he a bottom? Does he assume I’m a top? My Myspace pictures aren’t very butch, so it would be interesting if he made that assumption. Or perhaps, just perhaps, he purposely asked me this so I would reevaluate my own perceptions of social stereotypes. It was then that I realized that just because a gay man doesn’t look that butch, doesn’t mean he is a bottom, and visa versa. If that is the case (which I’m sure it is) then I commend you dear b. Thank you for making me face the harsh reality of my own prejudices.

Then there was the creme de la creme. Or as I like to call it, “The Great Morality Test”. He wrote: “trade x pic and face?”. At first I was appalled! Do people really use the internet for such perverted purposes? Could my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ really allow such a sinner box to exist?

But then it hit me! BAM! (ouch) He doesn’t really want x-rated pictures of me. He’s just testing me to see what kind of person I am. I’m sure if I sent him pictures of me naked he would be absolutely repulsed by my poor sense of ethics (not by the pictures of course, I am gorgeous after all).

So there we have it. Like two ships passing in the night, me and b start what I can only assume will be a long and wholesome relationship based upon trust, honesty, and ethical behavior.