Many times throughout the day, I can’t help but be amazed at the stupid, stupid things that people do. Not just stupid, but also annoying, pointless, and really, really stupid. Some of the things that people have done that were just damn unneccessary are the subject of discussion today here at Puntabulous.
1. Staring at a person when they walk into a room. This makes me feel uncomfortable! Would you want people staring at you after you went to the bathroom? No, no you would not. It makes me feel like I was in the bathroom shooting up so I could make it through the rest of Spanish class. And you know what? I wasn’t.
2. When someone walks into a room alone, closes the door, and begins doing very, very difficult calculus homework, you do NOT walk into the room and sit directly behind them. Even if you do do this, do not try to make conversation. Most of all, do not come into the room and constanty, and I mean really CONSTANTLY make weird throat clearing noises for the next half hour.
3. When someone is checking their email (me) on the school library computer, and has chosen either the one behind the library desk because they know it goes fastest or the special computer for teachers because no one can see the screen, do not stand behind the person and ask what they are doing. Is it not obvious that I am in a very serious email exchange with someone? And also, when someone is looking at a website that they will probably talk about how you are being obnoxious, do not ask them what they are looking at. If you weren’t annoying, then I would tell you.
4. When someone is obviously super proud of their kick-ass Star Wars pencil, don’t try to be cool and talk about how you hate Star Wars. If you hate Star Wars, then you are a redneck hillbilly asshole and not cultured. And also, Jesus hates you, you know why? Of course you don’t. Jesus LOVES Star Wars, and he thinks that you are STUPID and he is sending you straight to hell you SOB.
In conclusion, pretty much don’t invade peoples’ personal space, and don’t wave your Star Wars hating flag in front of me or Jesus or we will both hate you, especially Jesus.
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11 users responded in this post
Us Wookies thank you.
Slack jawed, vacant staring, drooling, knuckle draggin Star Wars haters! They just don’t understand. i think instead of threatening them with Jesus and hell, you outta threaten them with Natalie Portman, Craig’s wife. She’s really kick their asses!
Makes me glad that I’m no longer in High School…ugh.
Oliva, I am of the same opinion as you - I hate it when people stare at you in any context. Also, why do people insist on asking you what you are doing when you are sitting in front of a computer clearly answering emails. I think there should be a rising up against the stupid people and we should all scream at them at the same time: I’M ANSWERING EMAILS, LEAVE ME THE F*** ALONE! (you will note I bleeped out the f word, not because I’m a prude, but because I don’t want to offend anyone.
Dear Olivia,
I believe that a young woman of your age needs to hop into the back seat of a car and get drilled like an oil rig to start gaining the perspective that long-time puntabulous readers expect from the bloggers they follow. If this has happend already, please inform us of the details. I’m sure that the puntabulous readers would appreciate a detailed account of this side of your life.
Sincerely,
Hayden
Dear Hayden,
I believe a young woman of my age should not be jumping randomly into the back seat of a car and being drilled like an oil rig to gain perspective for a blog. For one, have you been to Mississippi and seen the guys down here? 99%, ew. 1% are okay, but I would still rather not go and get sexed up quite yet. You are a weird perve and if I met you in the street, I’d punch you in the neck.
Yours,
Olivia
Dear Olivia,
Please forgive my rudeness yesterday. Not only was I under the influence of a mind altering drug but I was also celebrating receiving my unemployment check with a few cocktails and forgot that I was speaking to a young Lady from the south and not my usual neighborhood Ho’s here in Jersey City. I hope that you will give me another chance and not want to punch me in the neck. I bet that would hurt.
Sincerely,
Hayden
Dear Hayden and Olivia,
Get a room.
Sincerely,
Antonio
Dear Hayden,
I won’t punch you in the neck.
Yours,
Olivia
Thank you Olivia. I just took my (protective) neck brace off.
The Snazz thinks Olivia has the kicks to ride with Craig…keep up the tude Missy O from the south
Tell Me What a Dork I Am!