Well, my epic romance has come to an end. It had it’s fair share of twists and turns, but sadly, it is no more.
For this past week, he hasn’t been on my train. I figured he was sick or on vacation. No harm done. Before I continue, let me fill you in on commuter trains. They’re not like subways were you get on at any old place. Commuters always stand on the same place of the platform and hence always get on the same car. You don’t stand on a different place and get on a different car without making a conscious effort.
Continue. (Although I’m sure you already know where this is going.)
Anyway, on Wednesday, I get off at my destination, and who do I see getting off a different car? That’s right. HIM! He switched cars! The bastard! We are SO done. I can’t believe I slept with him TWICE so quickly after meeting him. Never again.
Now I’m going to stop, because I don’t realize what a crazy person I am until I put it into writing. In conclusion, as I round third on the 7 month anniversary of my last faux coitus, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I will eventually die, fat and alone, found three weeks later, half eaten by wild dogs.
Anywho! As a consolation prize, I did receive a new Myspace message today from a 52 year old. What can I say? When you got it, you got it!
Click the link to read! (And keep in mind that it’s coming from a 52 year old. Fifty Two)
Subject: YES U R ‘CUTE’……..AND
Body:
I AM GAY……….. SO I WOULD BE LOOKING TO GET INTO YOUR PANTS!
LOL!
HI CRAIG……… BELIEVE ME PLEZZZZZZZZ! THIS IS THE FIRST TIME……. I HAVE EVER BEEN ON ‘MYSPACE.COM………!!!!!!!!! ON ST FRANCES/THE FRIEND OF THE ANIMAL DAY I DON’T LIE!!!!! BUT I GOT THIS INVITE FROM SOME 12YO…… I WOULD THINK……. NOW THAT ”FOLEY” GONE……………….!
ANYWAY……… I WAS just looking @ the pix’s and lost my way to the ”boys w hot bodies site………… ?”……… and decided to look for ANYONE LOCAL…………. AND I FOUND U AND SINCE I WAS ON YOUR ……… PEOPLE U WANTED TO ‘MEAT’ LIST……… I THOUGHT I WOULD SAY HI! HO!
[REDACTED] HERE……… I NEW HYDE PK………… AND WHAT REALLY MADE ME want to ”’connect w u in the true meaning of the term…………. !”……… WHEN I SAW ONE OF YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOWS ARE/IS ADULT SWIM……………… I AM DRAWN TO ANYTHING THAT MIGHT BE AN ADULT MALE …… SWIMING ……. SPEEDO………. WET…….. TRUNKS…… ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE………. BUT ON MY TIME WARNER CABLE……. THE STATION…… CUM’S UP…….AND flipps off………… and i have SUPPPPPPPER +++++ HOLES UP THE ASS/CABLE……… AND CAN’T FIGURE OUT….. SHOULD I BE COMMENTING TO ””’TWC””’ THAT I AM MISSING SPEEDO’S AND……… IITS NOT ENUF TO SEE MISS. LOPEZ HOT ASS IN THE SHOWERS ON NIP AND TUCK…….. someone should have made her spin around…………!
DO U GET MY MANNNLY DRIFT U 20 SOMETHING L/I………….. DO I MAKE U HORNEY??????
THAT’S JOKE…….. THAT;S A FOLEY LINE//// LIKE WHAT R U WEARNING?????
SOOOOOOOOO WHAT R U WEARNING???????????
OK………ENUF……..
WHAT IS ”’ADULT SWIM”””’
ON A NEED TO KNOW AND GET IT……………
U TAKE IT ANYWAY U WANT TO GIVE IT! : )*^
*******************
How lucky am I? Only the cutest boys on the block want me. It’s a gift that really brings a tear to my eye. Really.
Now I remember why I don’t have a MySpace…
Although, with entertaining messages like that one, maybe I should! It’s great blog fodder.
What WERE you wearing, Craig? lol
Oh that’s just vile.
Whew…Dubbie is SOOO hot right now! Seriously, there is nothing sexier than some bad grammar from a senior citizen!
Olivia, let’s start guessing at what Craig was wearing! My guess: boxers and a boa. Hm, is that my guess or my fantasy?
Shit, I just became the creepy old guy, didn’t I?
-Dub
I don’t think I want to get his manly drift. Or any drift, for that matter.
My guess is a darth vader suit with the boa.
Personally, I see Craig wearing an Ewok costume. “Yub nub.”
Princess Leia earmuff hairstyle, Darth Vader chestplate, Ewok costume from the waist down….and the boa.
Natalie Portman, His Wife, would I’m sure, approve!
A dozen or so carefully placed feathers does not a boa make.
oh he sounds like a hottie lol definetly persue that one
It’s good to know that he has “SUPPPPPPPER +++++ HOLES UP THE ASS/CABLE”. That’s what I look for in a potential mate.