Welcome to another edition of Puntabulous-Counter-Puntabulous! In today’s edition, Craig and Olivia go head to head over one of the most important issues facing our times. Who is the best disgustingly skinny celebrity?
Here we go!
Olivia: As all of the world knows, Nicole Richie is the greatest star of our time. She is not only talented, but is an inspiration to all young girls for how to keep your stick-like figure!
Craig: I’m afraid I’m going to have to disagree. Actually no, I’m not so afraid. I’m for Kate Bosworth all the way. She’s like the dark horse of the skinny actress competition. No one expects it from her. She’s Kate Bosworth after all! She was in Blue Crush! But have you seen her lately? Wham! Disgusting!
Olivia: You must be joking dearest Craig. Nicole Richie was the original skinny celeb. Her boobs are melting away, THAT’S skinny! And she’s quite a joker, after being pointed out as super-skinny, she and her dear pal Lindsey Lohan joked about it on MTV. Oh, Nicole, you slay me!
Craig: What does being the original have to do about being the best? Was Richard Harris a better Dumbledore than Michael Gambon? Was Farrah Fawcett a better Charlie’s Angel than Drew Barrymore? Was Optimus Prime a better Autobot leader than Hot Rod? Okay, maybe that last one is a bad example. But the case remains, being the original does not equal being the best.
Olivia: Let’s go over some amazing originals followed by total crap. Original M&M’s, followed by crap crispy ones. Original Cap’n Crunch, followed by nasty crap Crunch Berries. The Orignal All-American Rejects album followed by the okay Move Along album but the first album was way better. Oh, and Nicole Richie followed by that whore Kate Bosworth. Knock-off.
Craig: First off, Crunch Berries is delicious. Are delicious? I’m not sure. Secondly, why the hell is Nichole Richie famous anyway? She contributes absolutely nothing to society. Oh wait, I take that back, she did appear in episodes of “8 Simple Rules for Dating My Teenage Daughter” and “Eve”. So she actually contributes negatively to society. Kate Bosworth was Lois Lane for goodness sakes! And not it that Goes-Psycho-in-a-Suburban-Community-Margot-Kidder way either!
Olivia: This is not a Crunch Berry Debate Craigory, this is a skinny celeb debate! Nicole Richie put herself into the shoes of others in multiple seasons of “The Simple Life.” Has effing Kate Bosworth done that?! No, no she has not. She parades around all “Ohhhh, I’m Kate Bosworth, I’m SO skinny! Look! I’m Lois Lane too! Weee!” Like a crazy person! Kate Bosworth=crazy person.
Craig: Let’s see, the first season of “The Simple Life” was funny, while the other two seasons were not. Oh wait, Nicole Richie got skinner with every season! Nicole Richie was not skinny when the good season of “The Simple Life” aired, making your point moot. But it appears as though you are not going to give up on this. So I see I need to bring out the big guns! Kate Bosworth has two different color eyes! Eyes! Two different colors! Bang! Bang!
Olivia: Oh yeah? Well Nicole Richie used to be a man! A MAN! That’s right! He then decided to be a feminist, but had to be a woman to do so! He/She went THAT far to put herself into the shoes of another! Then she wanted to see how the children affected by famine in Africa felt! BANG BANG Craig! What now!!!???
Craig: Yeah! Well one time! Kate Bosworth pretended to work as a cashier! To see how it feels to work her life away in front of a cash register! But then she won a contest to go on a date with this really hot celebrity that she was totally crushing on! But he turned out to be a jerk and she ended up with Topher Grace instead. That was totally awesome! So Kate does her fair share of charity work! I mean, who else is gonna dump Josh Duhamel for Topher Grace!
Olivia: Hmm, let’s see famine… cashier…. famine… cashier… FAMINE! Nicole Richie totally reinvented herself in the name of starving children. She even took out her extensions to show that she meant business. And she’s adopted, so she started on her journey to see what it’s like in others’ shoes very early, she wanted to see what it was like to be adopted by a music sensation! Did your precious Kate start that early? No sir…
Craig: The only reason Nicole Richie is so interested in starving children is because SHE IS A STARVING CHILD! Oh wait, so is Kate Bosworth. Moving on, you know the old saying, “Don’t judge a book by it’s cover”? I couldn’t agree more. Instead, we should judge people upon the people they date. Let’s see, Kate Bosworth dated Orlando Bloom. Orlando Bloom! Legolas for fucks sake! Nicole dated DJ AM. Who? Yeah, exactly!
Olivia: Whatev. Nicole Richie could kick Kate Bosworth’s ass. Or the bone that’s in the place of her ass, you know, because they’re so skinny and all. Nicole Richie is skinnier, more charitable, more understanding, and all in all better than stupid Kate Bosworth. Seriously, who has a name like BOSWORTH! She’s not Bos-Worth my time.
Craig: Oh please! Kate Bosworth is courageous (see Superman Returns), adorable (see Win a Date with Tad Hamilton), and tough-as-nails (see Blue Crush). Nicole Richie is moronic (see The Simple Life), idiotic (see The Simple Life), and insect-like (see her anytime). Besides, the only thing Nicole Richie could do to hurt someone is ask them to take her seriously.
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9 users responded in this post
Crunch Berries = crazy delicious. I agree, Craig. It’s my favourite cereal.
Craig, that last pic begs photoshop freaks everywhere to do you nasty. Hmmm — I wouldn’t mind doin’ you nasty either. Cheers, thanks a lot!
ok, so is this a debate over which is the better celeb at being skinny, or which is the better skinny celeb? Because Nicole Ritchie is obviously the better celeb at being skinny–she still denies that she has an eating disorder people! that’s a state of delusion that you have to respect. But Kate Bosworth is the better skinny celeb, because she’s a viable movie star despite being a female Skelator…so Craig and Olivia, you are both winners!
Boy, apparently skinny celebrities doesn’t get our audience as agitated as gummi bears.
Ryan: You have good taste in cereal, and you are very classy for spelling favorite with a U.
Randy: Would photoshop freaks everywhere be doing me nasty all at the same? Or separately? Both has it’s advantages.
Ashwini: You make a good point. But clearly I am the winner.
I just realized both debates deal with food. Very interesting.
Ryan: Very classy, but you like crunch berries. We’re not best friends anymore. I bet you didn’t even know we were best friends, that’s the kind of friend you are.
Randy: haha!
Ashwini: Criag is wrong, again. I am the winner.
Hey folks - I’ve been reading your blog ever since you were linked from Gawker (but this is my first time commenting).
I agree with Craig. Kate Bosworth is DISGUSTING, while being only like 4′11, Nicole Richie is slightly (yes, slightly) more normal looking. And she isn’t as quick to bare her entire ribcage as Miss Bosworth.
And Olivia - MK Olsen is the ORIGINAL skinny celeb of current young hot hollywood (although she is looking better), so as an official reader/judge, I will have to disqualify that argument. (And plenty before.. Susan Dey, Tracy Gold).
Unless, as stated above, you are questioning preference, b/c Bosworth is as boring as she is haggish.
Kate Bosworth has to win with this. Come on, everyone knew Nicole was wittling away, but Kate seemed to transform in a single day! Did you not see that picture of her bending over and talking to some celebrity? That totally topped any Nicole picture. Plus, any picture of Nicole is of her eating. Kate? Smoking cigarettes and drinking water, that’s dedication.
Sorry but you’re BOTH wrong. Best disgustingly skinny actress has to be Calista Flockhart. Turn a light blub on behind her back, and if you’re in front of her, you could see through her, she was THAT skinny!
However….I’ll go a long with Kate Bosworth if I can do Craig nasty like randy said. Hell I’d do him AFTER randy did him nasty. NOT that I’m a freak or nothing…I’m just sayin….
HUGS….
Anything mentioning Transformers, Crunch Berries, and anorexia makes my day.
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