Dec
4
THIS is nearly the funniest thing I have ever read…ever!
I found this flyer in a booklet on preparing fun, ?helpful?, activities for teenage individuals. Observe:
The Above reads:
SEX
Now that I have your attention…I’d like to remind you that next week, HI-LIFE will present a provacative program entitled: “Is Sex a No-No?”
If you fit into one or more of the following categories, you need to come. (Check those that apply to you)
1. You went to the drive in movie last weekend and you can’t remember what movie you saw…
2. You wish you had a club on your last date…
3. Your boyfriend keeps taking you to see the “submarine races” at the river…
4. Your boyfriend just bought a van with a bed in it…
5. Your girlfriend likes to date in groups (like fifty or more)…
6. Your boyfriend has an eight-track stereo, and a one-track mind…
7. You believe in necking on the first date…
8. You believe in necking BEFORE the first date…
9. Holding hands turns you on…
Even if you don’t fit into any of the above categories, you’ll fit right in at HI-LIFE. The meeting starts at 7:23 p.m. sharp! See you there!
end.
So. I don’t know about you guys but holding hands turns me on like nothing else. Really, who needs sex when you can walk up to the river to see the submarine races and hold hands. Maybe if the hand holding is overwhelming, you can just neck a little.
So much of this ad is written really strangely. Most of the book is poorly written and tries to put in some slang-ish terms in the middle of serious things. I would have at least expected a different term for “turns you on.”
However, I do like a man with an eight-track stereo and a one-track mind. It shows that he not only loves music, but is dedicated to achieving his goals. And vans with beds in the back are pretty cool! And useful! Example: “Oh, shit! My house burned to the ground, I’ve lost all my precious belongings and even my kitten! But hey! I DO have a van with a mattress in the back! I won’t go cold or have to sleep at my weird Aunt’s house! Yippee!!”
Case Closed.
December 5th, 2006 at 11:47 am
Two things: One: If you’re girlfriend likes to date in groups of fifty or more, wouldn’t that mean you’re in an ORGY? And two: why the hell would it start at 7:23 SHARP? What kind of freak starts a meeting at 7:23? Why not start it 8 minutes earlier at 7:15, or 7 minutes later at 7:30? Why 7:23? that’s just…just…weird!
HUGS…
December 5th, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Maybe my boyfriend is just going into the ambulance business for himself. Here he is trying to save lives and you people judge him as a sex maniac! For shame!
December 5th, 2006 at 4:58 pm
I totally believe in necking before the first date.
That means practicing by yourself in the mirror before actually going on a date, right?