Puntabulous

As I’ve already said, I really hate the whole Abercrombie franchise, but I got to thinking, I hate a lot of things! And I feel the need to share those things with the world! So here are the top ten general hates of…bum bum bum! Olivia!

1. One of the things I hate more than ANYTHING in the world, almost, is related to Myspace. I hate people who post fifteen bulletins a day about nothing, or even worse, a bulletin about/to one person fifteen times. You take up my bulletin space, I like variation there. Also included in this hate category are those who post chain bulletins. I am guilty of pointless bulletin posting, I’ll admit it, but it’s maybe one bulletin about nothing every two to three weeks. Not fifteen a night. That’s just madness.

2. People that chew with their mouths open, and when they have it pointed out to them, they do a “funny” obnoxious exaggerated open mouthed chewing thing. It’s not funny. It’s pretty bad for my spirit, you crush it every time you do this.

3. People that act like reading is for idiots. If you are saying this, chances are, you’re the idiot. Reading exercises your brain. That’s why when I use a word such as “conspicuous” you don’t know what it means. I knew that word when I was eight, how’s that non-readers?! It means noticable, bitches.

4. When you firmly say something such as “No one can come in, unless you are here for the meeting” yet the guy that is just slightly bigger than you but certainly stupider still pushes past you and tries to procede with whatever his stupid oaf self wanted to do, which was play computer games. And then get kicked out anyway.

5. People that decide to have an opinion before researching or at least sort of looking into a matter. THEN tell you how wrong you are when you disagree with them, spewing out things that aren’t true.

6. This is more of a rhetorical question type thing- why would you own a car for a good, long time, and not clean it? Let me rephrase it, clean it when it’s dirty?! I mean really dirty, like, some weird stain on the middle seat belt in the back seat? And some grimey stuff in the center boxy thing? And why would you not do so if you were trying to sell it to me? (OH YEAH! I got a new car! It’s an old Jeep Cherokee, and I look super cool in it.)

7. I also hate people that decide to tell you about how terribly or how you aren’t doing something, while they are worse or not doing something themselves. This is even worse when you are doing a thing or doing a thing well. Then you have to bust some heads.

8. Possibly the thing I hate most. When you say you love something, someone, or make a casual joke or comment, then some terrible, horrible ass of a person decides to either express their hatred of said thing or person, or make a comment about how they hate the basis of your comment or joke. Example: I say, “Hey, it’s 10:10 AM, make a wish. Haha.” ten second pause. Terrible person, “I hate it when people say to make a wish on something like five fifty-five or ten ten. It’s eleven eleven. People should get it right.” Then they looked right at me. First of all, it’s not like I’m going, “COME! The time wish fairy is upon us! Wish! Wish!” Second of all, I hate you.

9. I hate a lot of people who get boob jobs. They say it’s for more self-confidence. It’s always “With these new D’s I can go out and feel good about myself! With my small chest, I had no confidence.” I have small boobies, and I like them that way. I have plenty of confidence. I want to say to those women who get giant, giant boobs, “Okay, you have new boobs, but maybe you had no confidence because of your scary face. Now when small children see you in the street, they run from both the boobs and the face. Get those things taken out.”

10. I’ll tell you one thing I DON’T hate, Demetri Martin. Sorry to break the ten things I hate, but I LOVE that man. I’m fine with the sixteen year age difference, so fine with it. If you haven’t seen his special that was on Comedy Central Sunday, I highly and strongly recommend you check that out. It’s not just dull old stand-up stuff, he sets a lot of it to music and that’s pretty wow. If he ever had a singing CD out, I’d buy it. I’d buy fifty, and rent a helicopter, and fly over Somalia, throwing them out to the hungry Somalian children. Just because.