Puntabulous

And what a funny word “flu” is!

Since last Wednesday, I have been in a spiraling pit of flu-age, partially dead every now and then, with a couple hallucinations brought on by fever. In the midst of all this pain and suffering brought upon me by said flu, I have managed to find some good. So now I present you with the Top Ten Reasons to have the Flu! (Or at least ten things that are okay about being sick)

1. No work! Especially if you work with food, like me. See, I can’t take any risk to be at the grand ol’ Quiznos spreading my disease! It was my first time to call in sick though, at any job, and it was pretty intense for me. I called my first day and didn’t quite know what to say. I called at about noon because I had just woken up, and boldly stated, “I’m super sick, I can’t come in for work today.” Then the next day I decided to tough it out and go to school for the three classes I have, then leave early. Five minutes into school I regreted my decision and again around noon while lying sprawled in a chair in the AV room, I called work and said (or more sort of raspy squeeked) that I couldn’t work. Same Saturday, and Saturday night saying I wouldn’t be there the next morning.

2. You can have all day Harry Potter movie marathons without any insult from friends or family. Because you have a high fever and are somewhat hazy, watching Harry Potter endlessly and commenting on how effing amazingly hot that Oliver Wood guy is is looked over. While people pity you, you can do anything. I killed a man while I’ve been sick, and the police just said “oh, you poor girl…would you like us to run a hot bath for you?”

3. People are super nice to you when they are usually either just normal nice or not nice. My wonderful Government teacher who has always been great seeing as we’re practically the only liberal wackos in the state asked if I’d like to take my test that I had come to school specifically so I wouldn’t miss (because I’m a dedicated student) a period early so that I could leave an hour earlier. I declined, because I was using that extra hour to study because I hadn’t the night/day/week before.

4. Getting to sleep as much as you like without being told to wake up by others. Actually, everyone is telling you to sleep! It’s crazy!

5. You get nice Myspace comments telling you to get well soon. The downside to this is that once you get better, no body cares anymore. It’s like, oh, yeah, Olivia, no comment. But I never leave people comments back so I don’t blame anyone.

6. You can be mean to people then later blame it on your sickness. “Sorry, this flu thing is just making me really irrational, I didn’t mean to call you an ignorant manbearpig.”

7. Long showers, no hassle. Usually there’s someone banging on the door or wall going “come on! you’re going to use all the hot water!” But instead, those people are thinking “oh that poor girl, she needs that shower more than we do, she’s so brave!”

8. I didn’t actually use this one, but was actually in a bad spot because of it, but if you lose your voice such as I did, and you don’t want to talk to someone, you have a very valid exuse. If people call you, you’re like, “ehh caaa ak!” translation: I can’t talk. and you’re a dildo. end translation.

9. Ice cream. You have a reason other than just being a fatty to consume copius amounts of delicious ice cream while you’re sick, especially with the flu. First place I went after I left school Friday, Kroger. Got some Ben and Jerry’s. Ate it.

10. You can continue saying you don’t feel well for at least a week after you’re just dandy. Example: “Hey Olivia, can you move this heavy object?” “Oh…I would, but (tries to move the thing) sh…eh…er…Sorry, I just don’t think I’m over this flu thing.” Accompany with a regretful look.

Hopefully I’ll be better by Wednesday folks, don’t be dumb like me, get your flu shot!