Puntabulous

I have an issue with Macbeth, from, of course, the play Macbeth. I feel that Macbeth made a few decisions that weren’t really necessary, and also that even when he made a decison that was dumb, he could have done so in a smarter way? Smell what I’m steppin’ in? (I’ve always wanted to say that and I couldn’t let the oppurtunity pass.)

If you are not familiar with the story of Macbeth, here is a quick summary of the main events: Macbeth is a great guy, everyone loves him, some witches tell him and his buddy Banquo that one day Macbeth will be King and Banquo’s sons will be Kings. Macbeth is pumped, tells his wife, his wife is crazy. Crazy Wife figures ‘hey let’s kill the King.” They kill the King, Macbeth becomes King, Macbeth goes crazy, Macbeth things nothing can stop him, Wife goes crazy, dies, Macbeth dies, everyone else lives happily ever after. Aside from all the other people that died.

Situation One-Macbeth tells his wife about the witches’ predictions: Now. I understand that he is excited, but you should keep these sorts of predictions to yourself if your wife is a lunatic. Because you should realize, since you are married to this woman, that she is a crazy person. Your wife is going to want to kill King Duncan, and then she will make you do it, then you will be miserable.

Situation Two-Macbeth is miserable: Get over it. You killed the king, now you’re king, you are pretty much the man right now, so stop whining and worrying. So you hallucinate a little, so what?! See a few ghosts? Get OVER IT! You have all the riches of the land! Maybe see the glass half full next time Mickey!

Situation Three-Lady Macbeth is going crazy: Again, you’re the King. I’m sure you loved your crazy wife, but she’s crazy now, and then she’s dead. Get over it, you’re King. You could get any piece of ass you want!

Situation Four-Everyone in Scotland hates Macbeth, therefore no one will ever love him again, no ass: You’re King. You made everyone hate you, it’s your fault. But still, you’re totally powerful, be some peasant chick’s sugar daddy. I’m sure she’s tired of like…milking cows and peasant things.

Situation Last-You think you’re invincible, and it turns out you’re not: Your fault! That’s why you sit down in your King Situation Room and make a plan, Macbeth! You don’t just go all willy-nilly and kill folks left and right and make the whole country hate you!

Stupid Macbeth.