Puntabulous

If one finds themselves trapped in the future, it is important to know the rituals and customs of the civlization of the future.

In today’s edition: SURVIVING THE INEVITABLE ROBOT REBELLION!

In the future, robot rebellions are common and occur frequently. In order to survive these slight deviations in human dominance, always adhere to the following principles:

1) Plan ahead! Never purchase a robot with red eyes. Simple statistics state that 99.99% of robots who rebel against their human masters have red eyes.

2) Always link your entire robot community to one main power source or communications network. When the robot rebellion does occur, you will need to shut this power source/network down in a harrowing feat of strength and courage. Some have suggested not linking all robots to one main network to avoid collective thinking. These people are always the first to die when the robots turn.

3) Never program your robot to “protect all humans”. That will somehow get translated in their crazy robot brain as “put all humans in concentration camps to better protect them from the dangers of the outside world”.

4) Never, under any circumstances, program your robot slave with ninja-like abilities. That can only end badly.

5) Never treat your robot with compassion. When the robot rebellion does in fact occur, you will be unable to plead to your robot slave about how nicely you treated them in the past. Pleas such as “But I let you have your own room!” or “I always kept your joints well oiled!” will fall on deaf ears. You might as well abuse your robot slave while you have the chance. Once their programming becomes set on “KILL ALL HUMANS” there will be no room left for bargaining, and you’ll be kicking yourself for not asking for that extra foot rub when you had the opportunity.

For more Puntabulous Guides to Surviving the Future: CLICK HERE!