Apr
16
When I Google “Google,” it actually brings itself up. I’d rather it just pop up and say “You are a bitch.”
Even when I try really hard, I am never able to teleport.
There is never a good chance to save anyone’s life and get my picture in the paper and the key to the city. Of course, the city is in MS, and that’d still be pretty crappy.
Jonas Armstrong’s car never breaks down in front of my house, and I never get to show off my car fixing skillz. Really the only thing I know how to do is how to check the fluids, I couldn’t even figure out how to put air in my tire, but I did get help from a nice handsome fella (FANTASTIC oppurtunity to use the word “fella”), so it’s almost like I was rewarded for lack of skills.
A cop is never shot down at the bank and I never have to take his gun and save everyone. The cop wouldn’t die, but he would probably be a sissy cop and just be shot in the arm or something, but cry a lot, so I’d have to take over.
Parker never calls me fat so I never get to hit him for a reason. Unless the reason is not calling me fat.
I never get to go to the Catholic Church with Parker because his mom thinks I’m a bad influence. But of course, I don’t want to go to his Catholic-fest for the religion, I want to go see the gypsies. There are Irish Travelers at his church and I don’t get to see them!!!! It’s really unfair.
Demetri Martin never happens upon Puntabulous and falls in love with me. THAT is unfair.
Quiznos never burns down. Although once a coworker and I did almost start a fire in the microwave trying to make cookies.
This isn’t really something out there, but it’s still something that I want to do but never do. Mainly because I don’t want to do it all by myself because I’d look really crazy. But if someone else was with me, it might look less crazy, maybe even poetic, and if it were with some hot guy, then possibly romantic. Anyway, I want to roll around in the grass in this field near my house.
How fluffy does it look?!?! SO FLUFFY!
April 16th, 2007 at 10:22 pm
gentlemen,
although we all love olivia for her intense beauty and charm. i was blessed with her presence for 3 hours tonight and i do believe it was quite possibly the most amazing 3 hours of my entire life. from two visits to walgreens to get “drugs” and other “necessary items” to the pictures of our made up national honor society project at the grocery store. every minute full of smiles and tears as we spoke of the days of our past spent knee deep in the rice patties of vietnam with Charley (enemy soldiers for all those non veterans) hot on our trail. we are all amazed and inspired by this girl and i will enjoy following her success as the hottest blogger in life!
April 17th, 2007 at 8:20 am
You need a reason to hit Parker? Baby, I’d be hitting that every day, all day, as often…oh, wait, he’s still underage and thus illegal, right?
WELL, then….the teleporting thing, yeah, that was funny.
HUGS….
April 17th, 2007 at 8:50 am
I really really REALLY wish the Google thing would happen.
Polt- You’ve been after Parker for quite some time now. I’m not sure that’s ever gonna happen. Not to be a Debbie Downer or anything
April 17th, 2007 at 12:41 pm
You can come to Catholic Church. Just a warning, there is a lot of sitting, kneeling, and standing in very quick succession. Catholic gymnastics. Also it is the longest experience of anyone’s life. Really.
And my mom said she would take you gypsy spotting. You can use Cooper for bait. The travelers are always looking for some diversity inn the gene pool.
Yeah, still underage. But, flattered.
April 17th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
Olivia,
I didn’t know you guys had Travellers too! In Augusta, GA (of course, not too far from MS) we have a large community of them and they’re awesome! Have you seen the foil they put in their many many many windowed homes? Or the Virgin Marys outside each house? Or the five year old girls painted like harlots that they marry at age 10? They’re awesome!
But if you go to Church with your friend they will rob you blind while you’re communing with the Good Lord. And then you might have to show your mad ass-kicking skills. And if you do, please write a post about it.
April 17th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
*SIGH*….well, a gay boy can dream, now can’t he?
And I attend a Catholic wedding two years ago with a friend of mine who was raised Catholic but hadn’t been to church in over a decade. I asked about all the sitting kneeling, etc. She told me, “Find the oldest lady in the church, and watch her. If she kneels, YOU kneel. If she stands, YOU stand. Just follow her. Unless she falls over and starts having a seizure. That would just be rude.”
HUGS….