Puntabulous

Here are some things that I’ve been wondering about lately:

1. If I were to pull a perfect con, then tell everyone because I wanted them to know I was just that cool, would I get in trouble for it? Same with robbing a bank, etc. Or killing a person, because I think I could plan that out really well. But I don’t really want to kill anyone, just my Aunt’s dog, but only because I hate it and it’s stupid name is “Lambchop.”

2. When I go bowling with some man candy, how come it’s always that one pin on the corner that won’t fall down? Someone give me bowling tips.

3. I bought some new shoes today, and this other guy buying shoes was so against them. He made a giant point that they were unoriginal, and I am pretty sure I’m not really worried about the orignality of my shoes. So I told him this, I was all “I don’t really care if everyone has them, they are comfortable and my other ones got torn up.” And the guy working there was all “Ya, Duuude. I have, like…three pairs.” But this dildo kept going on about it, and he kept looking stupid every time! It was great! It was like the guy working there and I were on a team, and it was team make the other guy look dumb!

4. That last one wasn’t really wondering, it was more a telling of a pretty boring story.

5. Why is Antonio Banderas so hot, and why can we never be together?

6. They’re selling our Quiznos store, and trying to keep the employees, therefore selling me, too. So if I get hurt, am I damaged goods?

7. What is it about my ringtone that makes it so great? (The song “Me So Horny”)

Last. Why does anyone care if the cup is half full or half empty?! I don’t!! There is liquid in the cup! Get a free refill if you have to, or don’t, no one cares.