So this weekend was my sister’s 30th birthday. We rented a bus and went to a club in the city. Try not to think about me on the dance floor dancing to 80′s music, that’s not the topic of this post. Although trying not to make a fool of myself on the dancefloor was quite a challenge as the name of this post implies.
On the bus ride in, I was in the bathroom and came across this little sticker:
Crazy right?! And I don’t just mean how far apart that guy’s head is from the rest of his body. And I don’t mean the positioning of that guy’s arm (although it is a bit scandalous if you ask me). I’m talking about how it’s telling me how to pee! I see that, and I feel like I’m back in the Wild West and the little jackass is challenging to a duel at high noon.
I hear a voice in my head and it says: “Hey you! You yellow-bellied, lanky bastard! Don’t even think about standing up while you pee! You will get it all over the place! You must sit like a woman!” And me being the kinda guy that likes to obey all of society’s gender rules is all like: “How dare you talk to me like that! I am no woman! I will pee as I please!”
I don’t even care if sitting down makes more sense, I don’t care that standing up while peeing in a moving vehicle is one of the hardest stunts a man can pull off, and I don’t care that I’m so freaking tall that my head hits the ceiling when I stand up in that tiny bathroom so I’d probably be more comfortable sitting down anyway. It’s the principle of the matter!
So I want you all to know that you must never give up in the face of adversity, stare back into the face of the enemy, and clean up after yourself when the bus hits some turbulence.
Way to be a man.
The little man setting down has no arms. Poor thing.
My pecker is almost touching the water when I stand in the bus anyways, and not just because I am only 5’3″ :-p
Ew. Did you just use the word “pecker”?
Sign or no sign, there is no way I’m sitting down in a bus bathroom.
When I first saw the sign in question, I thought it meant “Don’t have a gab-fest with someone else in the washroom while you’re peeing. This isn’t Golden Girls.”