PUNTABULOUS PICKS HIMSELF OUT OF A LINE-UP

As a society, we aren’t always the people we strive to be. We look towards role models and attempt to emulate them, but we don’t always succeed. Here are some of my personal role models (taken from spaceship crews, obvs) and I’ve chosen who I wish to be, and who I really am:

CREW: Firefly Class Ship: Serenity
I WISH I WAS: Inara. Because let’s face it, she’s pretty much a prostitute. Okay fine, more like a Geisha, but she still gets to have sex with loads of people, and still be hugely respected. I mean come on, they even send her to school to learn the art of her job! My job only sends me to classes to work on my communications skills. Making eye contact during a presentation isn’t nearly as much fun to learn as, well, you can use your imagination.
BUT I REALLY AM: Kaylee. I have a tendency to pine after people who don’t have the faintest idea that they are the love of my life. Plus she’s adorable. What? I can be adorable!

CREW: Starship U.S.S. Enterprise and the Starship U.S.S. Enterprise A
I WISH I WAS: Bones. If I could be half the man that Bones is when I’m his age, I’ll be the happiest man on Earth. I’m still waiting for someone to buy me an “I Love Bones” T-shirt (size medium!). That is not something someone can buy for themselves. It must be a gift. And I must wear it to Fire Island.
BUT I REALLY AM: Scotty. I have a stronger relationship with the Engine of the Enterprise than I do with any actual real-life person. And by “Engine of the Enterprise” I mean “my television set”.

CREW: Starship U.S.S. Enterprise D
I WISH I WAS: Worf. I wish I could instill a bit more fear into people’s lives when they look at me. Plus I think a headcrest would come in really handy sometimes. Besides making me an awsome head-butter (mmmm…butter) I could open a ski resort for ladybugs on my head. How cute would that be? Wee!
BUT I REALLY AM: Data. I’m generally confused most of the time, and usually don’t know what’s going around me, due to my lack of understanding of human nature. But like when Data got the emotion-chip, I can ocassionally come out with a real zinger. Plus I’m definitely more of a cat person. And only slightly more pale.

CREW: Millennium Falcon
I WISH I WAS: Who doesn’t want to be Han Solo? Luke Skywalker may have been the main character, but Han Solo was a bajillion times cooler. Han Solo doesn’t need permission to go to Toshi Station. Toshi Station needs permission to go to Han Solo.
BUT I REALLY AM: Not too many options left. It’s actually quite a small crew when they’re not taking whiny, fledgling Jedi onboard. But my legs are vaguely wookie-like, and I enjoy doing a really bad wookie impression, which makes me sound like I belong in a mental institution. Airryayrryiriaarrraa.

CREW: Battlestar Galactica
I WISH I WAS: Kara “Starbuck” Thrace obviously! She is the badassingest badass who ever badassed. On the Battlestar Galactica soundtrack, there’s even a song titled “Starbuck Takes On All Eight”. That’s the kinda person I want to be. Wait, did I just admit to having the Battlestar Galactica soundtrack?
BUT I REALLY AM: Oh how I wish I could say Billy. But technically he’s not really part of the crew, so I’ll go with Gaeta. He’s in the background, he’s quiet, he keeps to himself, but always reliable. Plus, in a world where people are constantly putting their lives on the line in battle, his sole responsibility is to ocassionally yell out: “We have DRADIS contact!” I definitely think I can handle that.

I encourage other bloggers to go through the same exercise. Consider yourself tagged.