Puntabulous

When I was going to college in Binghamton, I worked as a cashier at a Price Chopper Supermarket. When I was cashiering, I would bust my ass and go as fast as I could. Not because I cared about my costumers. But because I wanted them to go away. So the faster I worked, the more they would go away. Sometimes if I went fast enough, my line would disappear altogether! Woo! I worked nights mostly, which is what made this feat feasible.

I don’t understand that about slow cashiers when I am a customer. Don’t you want me to go away and leave you alone? Why must you go so slow?

Anyway, not everyone can be as perfect as me. I was super fast and super friendly.

Unless you annoyed me. Then I was a nasty asshole.

For example, one time, this spanish speaking couple was on my line. As I was ringing them up, the wife went off to get pistachio nuts. She took forever. There was a huge line forming behind them and I didn’t want to back out their entire order to let the people behind them go ahead of them. So I locked up my register and went charging after her in the produce department and did my whole snotty cashier routine.

After I found her nuts (LOL!) she followed me back to the register. I continued to be a huffy queen while I checked them out.

She leaned into her husband and said a sentence that contained the word: “Impatziando”. (The spelling of said work is made up by me, since I’m not entirely certain of what I actually heard.)

I don’t speak spanish, but I was so mad I just assumed that “impatziando” meant “impatient” and assumed she was talking about me.

So after I bagged up their groceries (thanks for not helping!) I said in my most snotty, queeny, and huffy voice: “Sorry for being impatziando!”

They looked at me funny and left.

I got home and tried to look up “impatziando” but never found anything.

I am a stupid gringo.

Maybe this mysterious “impatziando” word means: “gorgeous, and greek god-like in appearance”.

Maybe not.