I was having a bad day. Luckily Natalie Portman, my wife, is always there to cheer me up.
Grumble. Grumble. Grumble.
Honey! I’m home!
Go away! I hate you!
What’s wrong, sweetie?
Talk to the hand!
Uh oh. Comebacks from the mid-90’s. It must be bad!
I just had such a bad day!
First I was almost eaten by a Space Slug!
[Dramatic Reenactment]
And then I spent all my money on all the Harry Potter books.
But I thought you already bought all the Harry Potter books and burned them for promoting witchcraft!
Yeah, but I had to buy them again so I could burn them again for promoting homo sex.
And my socks don’t match!
But you’re only wearing one sock.
Damn it! Will nothing go right today?!
But maybe things aren’t so bad.
As long as you tell me you love me, everything will be alright.
…
Cough.
::crickets::
Oh Craig, you know I don’t like PDAs.
Um, but we’re alone.
Actually the P stands for “Puntabulous”.
And I hate you.
Sad Face.




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12 users responded in this post
oh the drama
Sounds like somebody’s got a case of the Mondays.
Don’t push her dude; she may pop a cap in your ass with that there blaster. It’s creepy how she talks without moving her lips or, gad!, even changing her expression in the slightest. Creepy.
Hahahahahaha! I love this post more than you can imagine.
I loved the socks part, especially, ahahahaha!
Olivia!
Damn those space slugs - they can always ruin a day.
I bet you got a pedicure especially for this particular posting, didn’t you??? I really love having Natalie Portman as my sister-in-law.
HUGS!!
The dramatic reenactment made me laugh out loud. And only now, am I saddened that I don’t have a foot fetish.
HUGS>..
Oh Waffle… you know how I love the Natalie Portman posts!
1. Never push a woman to do anything she doesn’t want to do.
2. Especially if she has a gun.
3. Everyone else loves you, and I read in the enquirer that Natalie has cooties.
Apparently there was a lot we didn’t know about her.
I think you’re my new favorite blogger.
btw, i’m from Burlington vt, i read your little rant against our quaint a modest aquarium… what can i say, i’m a bit embarrassed by it myself.
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