Alright, I survived the Gay Bloggies: Round 1 elimination! There’s 11 of us left now. The assignment for Round 2 was to discuss the nature vs. nurture debate. For my post, I wrote up a debate between Treebeard for Nature versus Wonder Woman for Nurture. I think it came out pretty good. READ IT HERE. Then vote thumbs up for me! (And possibly thumbs down for the other guys, but that’s not very nice.)
1. I’m really liking the song “Break the Ice” from Britney’s new CD. So if you only download one song off her CD and you’re already sick of “Gimme More”, definitely give “Break the Ice” a whirl.
2. Nathan sent me a website called Reserve a Spot in Heaven, which sells you (you guessed it!) reservations in heaven. It’s pretty funny. The website says “Space is limited! Reserve your spot now!” So you better hurry!
3. Phyllida sent me this forever ago. It’s a website documenting the history of the Ken doll called Keeping Ken. Check out this comparison picture. I’m totally Ken!
4. My friend Erin is having a karaoke birthday party this weekend. Karaoke makes me nervous.
5. Argyle season has officially begun! Holler!
6. Battlestar Galactica: Razor was awesome. Admiral Mole Face is still the scariest person on the face of the planet. The ending! OMG! I’M SKURRED! LOL!
7. Wow! Check THESE out!
So my friend gave me this book the other day for my birthday called Working for the Man. I’ve been reading it on the train on my way to work (which adds a certain sense of irony) and it is hysterical. It’s basically a guide for surviving life in the office. Actually, surviving life in the cubicle to be more exact.
In fact, it’s pretty much like reading a really long episode of The Office. But not one of those hour long one’s where they drag out the same joke too long. It’s like those really good half hour ones where you wish it was really an hour, but it’s over in 22 minutes, but in book form.
Here are some tips the book suggests:
1. Conduct breath-holding contests during boring meetings.
2. Plot out a “sick day” calendar to maximize time off.
3. Write your novel on company time.
4. Become the “crazy person” in the office by dedicating your cubicle to a theme (UFOs, Sophia Loren, Dr. Seuss, clowns) and decorating it with reckless abandon.
5. Hand out your own Employee of the Month awards.
6. Anonymously send your boss a Happy Secretary’s Day bouquet. (That one’s my favorite. It’s genius!)
I’d also like to recommend another one that I came up with myself:
7. Change your company’s logo for your own devious purposes:
I did this over a year ago. And now I have the book to prove that it was probably one of the healthiest work activities I performed.
CHECK IT OUT: Working for the Man: Inspiring and Subversive Projects for Residents of Cubicle Land
So my night classes are held in a New York City high school. Take a look at this picture I took in the bathroom last night and tell me what’s missing. And no, it’s not Jenny McCarthy and a pair of Candies (what a wacky pop culture reference!).
There’s no door! And it’s not just this stall, it’s all the stalls in all the bathrooms! Now, if I were a more mature blogger (LOL!) I would use this opportunity to discuss the horrors of the New York City public school system. But we all know that’s not gonna happen. Instead I’ll use this tragedy as a platform for my own wacky brand of humor. Kinda like my Osammy the Terrorist Clown shtick. “Hey kids! Wacka! Wacka! Wacka! BANG!”
First off, why isn’t there a door? Why aren’t there even remnants of a door? I admit it, I get stage fright at urinals. Sad, but true. I can’t even imagine trying to poop in a stall without a door. If I ever have to poop in a stall without a door, it better be in prison! Or better yet, how about I just never poop in a stall without a door? That works!
And I thought we had it rough in our school bathrooms growing up! I swear the toilet paper they gave us was a combination of tracing paper and party streamers. I used to use the toilet paper as tracing paper to copy my friends’ homework. Just kidding! I didn’t have any friends!
Speaking of public restrooms, why is it that people can make as much noise as they want while doing that thing you do while sitting on a toilet, as long as the noises don’t come out of your mouth. It could be like a tsunami coming out of your ass, and no one bats an eye. But as soon as a slight grunt or sigh leaves your lips, you’ve suddenly turned into the most disgusting person on the face of the planet. And you just know that I’m making eye contact with the other guy at the sinks to acknowledge the fact that we both think you’re gross. Isn’t that hypocritical?
That’s all.
After Elton gave me a shout out! Holler!
Also, “adorkable” is my new favorite word!
I finally made it onto Polt’s: “Monday’s Hot Shirtless Guy Photos” post!
It’s like an adult version of “One of these things is not like the other!” Sweet!
FYI – It’s a picture from my Vermont vacation over the summer. And yes, it was near the end of the summer, not the beginning. I’m that pale all year round.
Now that the introductions are over, the Gay Bloggies have officially begun! The assignment for Round 1 was to confess to something that we haven’t discussed on our blogs before.
Check out my first entry HERE and learn some (not so) juicy tidbits about me! Then vote for me by hitting the Thumbs Up button! You may also want to consider hitting the Thumbs Down on the other guys. I realize that it’s not nice to vote Thumbs Down for the other guys. But I could really use the porn. I mean money. (I mean porn.)
I just said to a contractor over the phone: “We’ll do you right.”
I meant to say something along the lines: “We won’t screw you over.”
But instead: “We’ll do you right.”
I suddenly feel like I’m in Boyz II Men again.
The same teacher who gives group projects to adult students with full time jobs and doesn’t give time in class to work together also said C.A.D. stood for “Computer Aided Drawings”.
He’s my Introduction to Construction Project Management teacher.
Just sayin.
Me and my friends are going to the Battlestar Galactica: Razor screening tonight! We’re probably gonna have to fight our way through a crowd of dorks to get seats. Luckily dorks are super wimpy and easily knockoverable.
Oh wait. Shit. I’m a goner.
Maybe I can hire someone to throw me over the crowd so I can get to the front of the line. Before they do, I’ll put my hand up and say:
“Nobody tosses a dork!”
But then I’ll let them throw me anyway because it would probably be fun.