Apr
29
PENCILS
Today we’re going to talk about the wild and exciting world of pencils! Wait! No! Come back! I promise I’ll make it amusing. Did you know that the word pencil comes from the Latin word “pencillus” which means “little tail”? Like, what the fuck? And did you know I got duped into taking Latin in college because it was called “Medieval Studies 101″ but then in itty bitty (which is approximately 15% smaller than teeny weeny) fine print it said “also see: Latin 101″ and on the first day of class all ready to learn about Knights and Wizards and Catapults, the professor was like: “To truly appreciate Medieval culture, you must first understand the marvelous language of Latin.” and I was like: “Say what?”
So anyway, the first pencils were used in Rome and were thin lead sticks. It wasn’t until the 1600’s when a huge graphite deposit was found in England that people started making pencils using graphite instead of lead. Since graphite is a lot softer than lead, it needed to be wrapped in something to keep it together, so it was usually wrapped in string or sheepskin to keep it from falling apart. This is the point of the post where I was going to say that they also make condoms out of sheepskin and warn you that while they do prevent pregnancy, they don’t prevent transmission of sexually transmitted diseases, but then I looked it up and it turns out that sheepskin condoms are made out of lamb intestines. Apparently lamb intestines aren’t sexy, and would ruin all marketing opportunities. Evidently the phrase “sheepskin” is orgasmic. Bah, Bah, Black Sheep indeed.
An Italian couple named Simonio and Lyndiana Bernacotti are credited with inventing the first wood encased pencil, used primarily for their carpentry business. Originally the wood was hollowed out and the graphite was inserted, but it didn’t take long for people to realize it was easier to cut the wood in half, and then glue it back together to encase the graphite, which is the same method used to this day. The wood-encased pencil spread throughout Europe, being manufactured primarily in England and Germany. Due to the Napoleonic wars in the early 1800’s, imports of graphite and pencils to France were ceased because no one liked them. This amuses me because I bet Napoleon had a very little tail, if you know what I mean. So France had to manufacture their own pencils by stretching their comparatively smaller supply of graphite by adding clay.
The primary wood used in pencil manufacturing is called Incense-Cedar, and is used because it is relatively soft, allowing it to be sharpened without splintering, and has a pretty smell (and who doesn’t love a fine smelling wood?). The tradition of pencils being painted yellow was started in 1890 by the Austro-Hungarian company L & C Hardtmuth Company and is thought to be inspired by the Austro-Hungarian flag which is simply yellow and black. Supposedly these pencils were of the highest quality, so other pencil companies painted their pencils yellow in the hopes of being associated with the high quality of the L & C pencils. And as they say: imitation is the highest form of plagiarism.
NOW TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW.
April 29th, 2008 at 7:05 am
“Happy Days” spawned three undisputed spin-offs and one disputed one. Can you name them?
April 29th, 2008 at 7:08 am
Being an artist, this was a pretty fascinating post, btw.
Well, except for the Latin.
April 29th, 2008 at 7:24 am
Laverne & Shirley, Mork & Mindy and Joanie Loves Chachi? Chachi reputedly is the Korean word for penis, but that isn’t true.
Since my Chachi refernece didn’t pan out, I will teach you something else. Periwinkles are a small edible snail that can be found on the north east coast of the US. If you pick one up and hum at it, it will come out of its shell.
April 29th, 2008 at 8:01 am
I, too, took latin in college. But then, I took in in highschool, too. I am a huge dork. (Which might be something you didn’t know, but you could have probably guessed it)Worse than being tricked into learning Latin? Having to read Latin poetry. Ugh.
Something you don’t know… If you eat too many oysters, you can have an allergic reaction that causes your face to balloon up, and the technical medical term for this is “scromboid”, which really? Sounds more like something from one of your Star Wars books, but it’s true - look it up!
April 29th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Here is a video my friend made about pencils: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6PGGC7FNwE
April 29th, 2008 at 9:11 am
John: You are correct. But does anyone know the obscure fourth spin-off? I remember it vaguely and it was awful. It got cancelled soon after it began.
April 29th, 2008 at 9:53 am
I dont know much about pencils, but I took Latin in 9th grade. The first thing teacher told us on the first day was the following: “Most of you will not remember much from my class, but there is one thing that you will never, until your dying day, forget. And that is the following: O, S, T, Mus, Tis, and Nt.” They’re the tense endings for words, or some such junk. But amazingly, I DO remember them, even to this day.
HUGS….
April 29th, 2008 at 10:20 am
I hate pencils.
In fact, I only use red or black pen.
Not blue! (or pencil!)
Like in stores, if I have to sign a credit card receipt, if the person working gives me a blue pen, I have to ask for a black or red pen.
I usually keep both varieties on my person, but on those rare days when I forget, I feel like a jerk asking for other pens.
You didn’t know that!
April 29th, 2008 at 10:25 am
Dave S.–I believe that was Out of the Blue….so disputed because the pilot episode was aired before the main character in it appeared on Happy Days.
April 29th, 2008 at 10:35 am
Now…on to Teaching (this will be long)
There is one song in history that, despite it’s popularity, all should avoid, as it has been the cause of numerous deaths. The song? “Gloomy Sunday”, by the Hungarian Rezso Seress. It was written as a response to a breakup with his girlfriend on a Sunday.
Estimates of up to 100 and even 200 deaths have been variously attributed to the power of this music.
In February of 1936, Budapest Police were investigating the suicide of a local shoemaker, Joseph Keller. The investigation showed that Keller had left a suicide note in which he quoted the lyrics of “Gloomy Sunday”.
Other accounts include two people who shot themselves while listening to a gypsy band playing the tune. Several others drowned themselves in the Danube River while clutching the sheet music of “Gloomy Sunday”. One person reportedly walked out of a nightclub and shot himself in the head after having requested the band to play “The Suicide Song”.
The truly horrible effects of “Gloomy Sunday” became so widespread that the Budapest Police thought it best to ban the song. However, the effects of “Gloomy Sunday” were not restricted to Budapest. In Berlin, a young shopkeeper hung herself. Beneath her feet lay a copy of “Gloomy Sunday”.
In New York, an office worker gassed herself leaving a request that “Gloomy Sunday” should be played at her funeral.
Perhaps the most haunting claim of all was that of a young boy in Rome, who, having heard a beggar humming the tune, parked his cycle, walked over to the beggar, gave him all his money, and then jumped to his death in the waters beneath a nearby bridge.
As the death toll climbed, the B.B.C. decided to completely ban the song, and some U.S. networks did the same. A French station even brought in psychic experts to study the effects of “Gloomy Sunday” but had no effect on the ever climbing death rate.
The song even affected its composer. After the song was finally published and became (somehow) a best-seller, Seress contacted his ex-lover and made plans for a joyful reunion. The next day the girl took her life by poisoning herself. By her side was a piece of paper containing just two words: “Gloomy Sunday”.
Rezso Seress committed suicide himself in 1968, never able to match the success of “Gloomy Sunday”.
Never underestimate the power and influence of music. Try playing this song yourself one day.
But perhaps not on a Sunday……
FDot
April 29th, 2008 at 10:45 am
fine smelling wine. haha
April 29th, 2008 at 10:48 am
Dave S.:
Bronski’s Beauties? It starred Nancy Walker who was some relation to Mr. or Mrs. Cunningham.
In Dutch classrooms, a small circle of wood, called a “bok,” was passed from misbehaving student to misbehaving student during the course of a class. Whichever student had the wooden piece at the end of class was punished. Thus the origin of the phrase: “passing the buck.”
April 29th, 2008 at 11:06 am
If you place daffodils in a mixed bouquet, the substance they secrete from their stems will kill the rest of the flowers in the bouquet. So leave daffodils out of mixed bouquets.
April 29th, 2008 at 11:07 am
Hum. Interesting.
Hey Craig, do you get trolls? Inappropriate comments? Sexual innuendo comments? How do you handle this situation?
April 29th, 2008 at 11:24 am
FDot: You are correct. “Out of the Blue” was a cheesy sitcom about a guardian angel. Due to a glitch in schedules the Happy Days tie-in fell flat.
Speaking of Happy Days: The term “jumping the shark” comes from when Fonzie jumped a shark in an episode of the show — which is considered the general time when the series started going too far to hold on to ratings.
April 29th, 2008 at 12:28 pm
There are only four US states that begin with a vowel and end with a consonant.
April 29th, 2008 at 1:21 pm
Since you mentioned the technical difference between itty bitty and teeny weeny (*giggle*), you reminded me of the long philosophical debates my friends and I used to have about how to define unusual measurements. Our definition of “an assload” was quite interesting.
But, when not making things up, I learned that a “jiffy” is an actual unit of time, although it matters which discipline you’re talking about. In electronics, it refers to the time between alternating power cycles (1/50 to 1/60 of a second). In computing, a “jiffy” is the duration of one tick of the system timer interrupt. Typically, this time is 0.01 seconds (1/100 of a second). physics, astrophysics and quantum physics, a “jiffy” is still a real unit of time, but an increasingly smaller one.
Some speculate that the origin of the word jiffy comes from a secret thieves language developed in Elizabethan England, and refers to lightning.
Whatever the case, if you tell someone you’ll be “back in a jiffy” - you’d better move awfully fast. And Jiffy Lube is almost certainly guilty of false advertising.
April 29th, 2008 at 1:46 pm
Craig , here are the lyrics to Gloomy Sunday…Maybe this will push a few of your Hungarian readers over the edge…
Ősz van és peregnek a sárgult levelek
Meghalt a földön az emberi szeretet
Bánatos könnyekkel zokog az öszi szél
Szívem már új tavaszt nem vár és nem remél
Hiába sírok és hiába szenvedek
Szívtelen rosszak és kapzsik az emberek…
Meghalt a szeretet!
Vége a világnak, vége a reménynek
Városok pusztulnak, srapnelek zenélnek
Emberek vérétől piros a tarka rét
Halottak fekszenek az úton szerteszét
Még egyszer elmondom csendben az imámat:
Uram, az emberek gyarlók és hibáznak…
Vége a világnak!
April 29th, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Thanks Peter J! All my Hungarian readers just committed suicide!
Is there a youtube link to this song? I want to listen to it and survive!
April 29th, 2008 at 2:45 pm
I used to write a weekly column for my little hometown bar magazine all about useless trivia, so here’s something you may not know:
~Did you know that there are no words in the english language that rhyme with ORANGE or PURPLE?
~What is the importance of the following sentence: “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”? It contains every letter of the alphabet!
~Did you know that the USDA categorizes marshmallows as meat? It seems the main ingredient in marshmallows is a meat byproduct.
I bet you’ll remember the sentence about the alphabet and like most people, will say the alphabet as you cross off letters……
April 29th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48cTUnUtzx4
That’s Billie Holiday’s version…but just query Gloomy Sunday in youtube and you get many more videos.
April 29th, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Sven, would those 4 states be Arkansas, Illinois, Oregon, and Utah?
HUGS..
April 29th, 2008 at 8:22 pm
Something you don’t know? Bossy has a piece of pencil lead in her leg — a pencil that was sticking out of Katie Taormino’s book bag in 7th grade.
April 29th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Rhyming words: doorhinge rhymes with orange (especially when spoken with a cockney accent)
“What’ll ease my upset stomach?” “A burp’ll!”
(OK OK back to doing math and lurking…)
April 29th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Both marshmallows and jello (or any gelatin based food product) is made from collagen and usually extracted from powdered cow bones. So if there are any vegans out there eating jello, I’m sorry.
April 29th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
I bet you didn’t know that lamb skin condoms also smell gamey. I had to buy some and use them for work once, a very embarassing and long and hilarious story, but I’m not drunk enough to tell it. But yea, they smell like the fat on a leg of lamb.
April 30th, 2008 at 2:28 am
Graphite is one of the forms of pure carbon. Its atoms are arranged in sheets of fused benzene-like structures - or a “chicken wire” made up of hexagons.
Graphene, a single atom thick sheet, was first isolated in 2004 in Manchester by scientists who manually skimmed off layers from graphite. This large, aromatic molecule is currently one of the most expensive substances, a sample smaller than the thickness of a human hair costs more than $1,000 US.
April 30th, 2008 at 3:18 am
Polt: indeed they would. It’s amazing the things you pick up from daytime TV when you’re a student. Countdown has a lot to answer for.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:50 am
The word “penicillin” also comes from the Latin penicillus because of the shape of the mold.
May 2nd, 2008 at 10:58 pm
Really late on this Teach me Something Tuesday (it being Saturday and all), but still loving them and learnt something interesting this week.
‘The Night of the Hunter’ is the only film to be directed by actor Charles Laughton. Because audiences and critics alike didn’t get it, he swore never to direct another film. It has subsequently (and quite rightly) gone down as a classic with its strange mix of fairy-tale narrative and an aesthetic inspired by German expressionists such as Murnau. Robert Mitchum is particularly chilling as the evil preacher. [For those who are interested, well you probably already know, but he seems quite blatantly the template for Caleb in series 7 Buffy.]
although still very good.
Robert Mitchum also plays a cowboy in Nicholas Ray’s (of ‘Rebel’ fame) ‘The Lusty Men’, which is not as exciting as it sounds