May
1
So as you may remember, I went to Pennsylvania two weekends ago to attend the christening of my godson Matthew. Here are some pictures from the big day!

This is me and Matthew that morning. He only looks so serious because he’s nervous. He’s having trouble remembering his lines. And no, you may not bite his cheeks. That privilege is reserved for the family.

This is me, Matthew and my sister Amanda. You’ll see plenty more pictures of her when we go on our cruise to Bermuda at the end of July. Chances are we’ll both look ridiculously sloppy, so enjoy us now while we look reasonably put together!

Here’s Grandpa and Jack, Mathew’s big brother. He’s very excited. So is Jack.

This is me dressing the baby for the big event. And by “dressing the baby”, I mean “standing awkwardly behind the godmother Stacy while she does all the work, then swooping in at the last minute to help with the buttons because she just had her nails did.”

Here’s the happy family. As you can see, Matthew was being completely uncooperative for the pictures. The nerve! We considered just leaving him home.

Here we are outside the church. My nieces Emily and Jillian are burning off some energy. Jillian, the younger of the two, is also my goddaughter.

Here is an expertly taken picture by your’s truly, which actually allows there to be photo evidence of my Mom being in attendance since she’s usually the one taking pictures. I helped her pick out her outfit! She wanted green, but I demanded blue, since Matthew is a boy and not Shrek. And there’s Adam who hasn’t updated his blog in FOREVER (hint, hint).

This is where the magic happens! I had to stand a few feet back because for some strange reason the water kept boiling everytime I got closer.

This really nice nun pulled me out of the crowd to help her with a special job because she said I looked “really close to God.”

Or at least that’s what I’m pretty sure she meant when she pointed at at me, and said “There’s a tall one!” Apparently I was the only one tall enough to light the candles for the priest. On a related note: could you imagine if I had this enormous bald spot that I didn’t know about until I saw this picture? I would die.

Here I am looking very proud of myself for my special tallness skills and a job well done. I’m also counting the bonus points I get for helping out and how much they raise my chances of getting into Heaven.

May 1st, 2008 at 7:23 am
Must…resist…urge to bite…cheeks..
That baby is adorable. Congratulations to you and the family.
May 1st, 2008 at 9:31 am
I was at my niece’s First Communion on Sunday, and I expected to hear thunder when I walked into the sanctuary.
Also, I think midget priests must be an epidemic, because the one on Sunday was seriously Oompa Loompa sized! I still need to post pictures of him.
May 1st, 2008 at 9:40 am
What awesome shots! I was hoping you’d post about your christening adventure (thank goodness Evil Bunny didn’t show up).
Matthew’s a cutie. Though if I had to wear that little white hat they put on him, I’d be all, “I ain’t gonna be wearin’ no girlie-crap hat! Mommy, you go tell God he can go blessin me on my bald head or he ain’t blessin me at all!”
I’m not Catholic (Protestant all the way, baby) so I don’t know much about the traditions — maybe the girlie hat’s part of his special “christening garb”?
And, damn, Craig — I forget how tall you are.
May 1st, 2008 at 10:47 am
I DO want to bite his cheeks! what a cutie.
May 1st, 2008 at 11:13 am
Goyim.
But seriously, very nice to see the family together. Jack is adorable. I’m sure Matthew will cheer up once he dries off.
I don’t bite cheeks unless I’m asked.
May 1st, 2008 at 11:30 am
Hayden just showed me the pic of Jack. When my nephew was young people always said he looked like me. My response was “Don’t put that on the poor kid” In Jack’s case I think he’s lucky to look so much like his uncle!
May 1st, 2008 at 11:32 am
One of your best posts, ever. How can you be a godfather if the water keeps boiling - isn’t that a sign that maybe you shouldn’t be seeing to the kids’ religious education? Now I need to look up the passage in one of my favorite Terry Pratchett books (Good Omens) to find the nursery rhyme that the sister in the satanic order recited to the false antichrist, to see if you recognize it.
And if I might be a little forward… since you have aspirations to be a published author, would you mind if an occasional grammar-freak commenter pointed out typos that said commenter might see? Like unnecessary apostrophes?
May 1st, 2008 at 11:37 am
Thanks everyone! Yes, I am quite tall and all my nephews and neices take after their drop dead gorgeous Uncle Craig.
Sue - By all mean’s, you are wel’come to be m’y copy’editor!
May 1st, 2008 at 12:04 pm
Always wanted to be tall. Never happened. I’m jealous.
I always wanted to be a godfather, too, but unfortunately I wasn’t born into a crime syndicate.
Of all the rotten luck…
May 1st, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Tall isn’t the word for you Craig! Who is the beach bum up on the alter taking pictures? Did he think he was going to a picnic with those shorts and that shirt?
May 1st, 2008 at 12:12 pm
I really think we’re bizarro versions of each other. I’m tall and I have neices named Molly and Lillian…..ok so maybe we’re not that much alike. They babies are so cute and you look very handsome! Congratulations.
May 1st, 2008 at 12:20 pm
That was so cute! You have a very good-looking family, congrats on adding another God-child to your collection. I have 5 God-children (all boys) and 1 honorary God-daughter. God Children are fun because you can always send them back home.
May 1st, 2008 at 12:21 pm
Oh this is adorable. You Catholic? Me too! I knew we had tons in common. Peace be with you Tall One.
May 1st, 2008 at 12:25 pm
Amy: And also with you.
May 1st, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Dood, you got mad tallness skillz! From the very first picture, I kept thinking “All of these people are shorter than Craig.” Why are you surrounded by oompla loopmas?
May 1st, 2008 at 12:47 pm
Craig and Amy, I want to tell you my first ex-Catholic story. I was sitting in my protestant church (sitting very still, of course, being nun-trained; everyone else was jiggling around like they had a disease) and it turned out to be something called REFORMATION SUNDAY. They were talking about this great guy called Martin Luther who was brave and strong and perfect, and it finally dawned on me: they were talking about THE HERETIC. Oops - time to change my mind-set, if I’m going to get this protestant thing right.
May 1st, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Aaaaawww… how adorable!
And the baby’s cute, too!
May 1st, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Great pics of the family! And I think, Craig, you’re just the right person to see to their religious education. And write them bedtime stories.
What I want to know is, how many times that day did you speak in a Marlon Brando voice?
May 1st, 2008 at 4:57 pm
my god, you’re tall.
May 1st, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Craig, you look dashing!
I felt for our kids’ godparents during the baptisms. You ask them to travel there, because you need them there, but they don’t get to do anything during the ceremony except stand there with the parents.
For my first kid’s baptism, the priest did ask the godparents to do something. But done of the others did!
May 1st, 2008 at 5:32 pm
oops, “none” of the others did. I iz good at typink.
May 1st, 2008 at 5:51 pm
If you ever wonder why (almost!) all your readers are gay dudes and moms again, remember this post.
May 1st, 2008 at 6:56 pm
My first thought was I’ve never wanted to bite a baby’s cheek. But oddly, now I kinda do. Second thought damned that Craig is closer to God in a tallish way. And thirdly, what no argyle suit or tie? Harrrumph.
May 1st, 2008 at 7:07 pm
wow your sister is hot!! i can’t wait to see her in her bikini in the cruise pics!!
May 1st, 2008 at 8:46 pm
It is like the keys to the pearly gates were just handed over to you. almost.
May 1st, 2008 at 10:32 pm
The water kept boiling….*SNICKER*…I always expect to spontaneously combust or get smited or something when I enter a church.
Tall indeed! Wow, how tall ARE you? I’m 6′1″ and you might be looking down on me.
And why am I not surprised that you’ve got the best tie there? Although grandpa’s is kinda spiffy too.
HUGS…
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:38 am
This doesn’t have much to do with the post content but… RED POWER TIE! Well done! Are you going to be running for president any time soon?
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:58 pm
Crikey, Waffle. I had no idea you were THAT tall! “Close to God,” indeed!
May 2nd, 2008 at 6:45 pm
Great pics! Matthew looks adorable (Of course! We don’t do ugly babies in this family.) And Craig, are you taller than last time you blogged?
May 2nd, 2008 at 7:13 pm
Nicolle - Yes, about two inches!
May 2nd, 2008 at 11:34 pm
I always thought you looked close to god–first thing I thought when I visited here the first time. And the clock on the wall looks like it says 12 and your camera 11. That’s very distracting you know.
May 3rd, 2008 at 12:13 am
This was fun to see! I like these little insights into what people’s lives are like.
May 3rd, 2008 at 12:15 am
Also-I wonder if you can really be that close to God if you have a drawing of a big red and pink vagina at the top of you blog. Just sayin’.
June 28th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
OMG thank you sooooo much for the laugh tonight! This starts my downward spiral each year…this time each year I should say. And today was day one of me entering MOPELAND, but I think you might have pulled me out some, I am trying soo hard not to laugh too loud, the kid is sleeping on the couch beside me…and well, I like when kids sleep;) LOL