Jun
25
So I come home one day to find a small box on my front steps. “What a nice box!” I thought to myself.
But one can never be too careful so I had my bomb-sniffing snail Argyle check it out to make sure it was safe.
When he deemed it safe, I opened it up to reveal baked goods! And lots of them!
And not just any baked goods! Super Viagra and Vagina Girl baked goods! Seriously! Look at them! They are incredible! From the M&M eyes, to the Fruit Roll-Up capes and the Twizzler arms and legs, these cookies are a work of art!
They were so cool, I almost felt bad eating them! Almost.
Yum! Who knew Super Viagra would be so delicious?!
Wow! It’s a party in my mouth and Super Viagra is invited! “Wait your turn Vagina Girl! I’ll get to you in a minute!”
Yummy yummy in my tummy tummy! Say “Hi” Super Viagra!
But wait, something isn’t right.
Oh no. I don’t feel so good.
Oh god! No! They’re poisoned!
And then I died. Seriously. Did no one teach me not to eat food sent to me from strangers in the mail?
Okay fine. I’m not really dead. These spectacular and delicious (and not at all poisoned) cookies were the work of my favorite people Ξ_Heather and TwoPi from the blog 360, and of course their trusty sidekick Godzilla. They took some pictures of the cookie making process which they were kind enough to share:
Frankly, I’ll eat anything that has cream cheese involved.
When Godzilla isn’t mixing chaos and destruction, he’s mixing ingredients with his mixer of death.
A far cry from the flattening of cities he’s used to. But today he’s using his powers for good, not evil.
Godzilla would just like to clarify that just because he likes to bake, it doesn’t make him any less of a huge scary monster.
I can only assume that Godzilla used his radioactive fire breath to bake the cookies.
And only the delicate grace of Godzilla could decorate these cookies so precisely.
So yeah, these cookies are amazing! I can’t thank Ξ_Heather and TwoPi enough for their incredible present! The time and thought that went into these cookies is staggering and I’m honored that they would go through the trouble for little old me. Thank you very much guys!
June 25th, 2008 at 5:28 am
I think those guys may have missed a trick by not actually putting Viagra in Super Viagra. Of course doing the same to vagina girl would have been less funny.
June 25th, 2008 at 5:47 am
hahaha, that is pretty damn cool!
But Mjohnson is right…real Viagra in them would have been funny.
June 25th, 2008 at 6:35 am
That’s awesome! They turned out great. Very very cool. Plus an Argyle cameo!
And I never realized Godzilla’s culinary creativity. I’m thinking Food Network. I’m thinking head-to-head Toho cupcake challenge against Mothra.
Godzooky would be so proud.
June 25th, 2008 at 6:36 am
Oh, and you didn’t die.
That’s always good too.
June 25th, 2008 at 6:39 am
I was a little worried when I read “Wait something isn’t right.” I was wondering if this blog was suddenly going NSFW.
Excellent job ladies and Godzilla!
June 25th, 2008 at 7:06 am
John: I just wanted to clarify that TwoPi is a guy’s name. Like Tupac.
And maybe there WAS viagra in the cookies and I just didn’t notice because…you know.
June 25th, 2008 at 7:30 am
very cool.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:09 am
Kick ass! Noticed that you didn’t eat any vagina (Vagina Girl that is)… hee hee hee.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:13 am
THAT is the awesomest thing I’ve ever seen.
You should figure out how to mass produce them and sell them in your SV and VG stores. Then EVERYONE can experience the joy of getting cookies from strangers in the mail!
June 25th, 2008 at 8:17 am
Colleen: I wanted to take Vagina Girl out to a nice dinner before I eat her.
Leahbear: Good idea!
Get to work Ξ_Heather and TwoPi!
June 25th, 2008 at 8:30 am
Thanks, Heather and TwoPi.
Thanks for raising the bar, regarding cool gifts sent to Craig, to an unreachable level.
Thanks for ruining it for the rest of us mere mortals.
Yeah. Thanks a lot.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Perhaps you are not aware of this, Craig, but your friends are pastry-chef-caliber bakers. Superfine sugar, real butter… PARCHMENT PAPER! Although you seem to appreciate their gift, I do not think you realize the level of their expertise. You are in Martha Stewart territory here, Pal.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:00 am
Craig: D’OH! I was afraid of that! I even went to the site to try to figure it out, but was running late getting ready for work and didn’t check my facts. My apologies to TwoPi (the cookies still rock though).
Craig: I think you reached your humility quota for the week yesterday…..
June 25th, 2008 at 9:10 am
I would have thought, in your case, the Vagina Girl cookies would have been the ones to make you sick.
Awesome cookies, though. Seriously. I’m jealous.
HUGS…
June 25th, 2008 at 9:12 am
After you take Vagina Girl out to dinner, you can spare us a pic of you eating her. A few of us might hurl
June 25th, 2008 at 9:16 am
Nobody ever bakes me cookies of my self-illustrated naked self with huge penis.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:20 am
Avitable: That’s because there’s not enough sugar in the world to handle the enormity of your penis.
If a thousand monkeys sat at a thousand typewriters for a thousand years, I don’t think they could ever come up with that sentence.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Not that anyone would want to actually *handle* that penis…
June 25th, 2008 at 9:52 am
OMG sounds like the type of penis I would just throw over my shoulder and burp.
Anyway!!!!!!
The pic of you on the floor is great, who gave you direction on that pose?
June 25th, 2008 at 9:52 am
That is a great sentence, and Dave S., I don’t know. I think being able to drape it over your shoulder and swing it around like a whip has its benefits.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:53 am
Oh, and I’m testing Craig’s cool new subscribe to comments feature. Woohoo!
June 25th, 2008 at 9:55 am
Let me know if it works Avitable! The subscribe to comments feature, not the penis. I’m sure the penis works.
If anyone wants to get email alerts when follow-up comments are made, check the box before you submit your comment. It’s perfect for staying a part of the conversation!
June 25th, 2008 at 10:09 am
Nope, it’s not working. I haven’t gotten this comment in my email yet, and it’s been 10 minutes.
June 25th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Dang. That’s annoying. I will investigate!
Can someone else try it and let me know if it works for them?
June 25th, 2008 at 10:38 am
Or you can just be a dork like me and just keep hitting the refresh button…
June 25th, 2008 at 10:44 am
Dork’s still use vcr’s Dave. By the way this is a test.
June 25th, 2008 at 10:46 am
I will try and see
June 25th, 2008 at 10:50 am
Does a VCR/DVD combo count?
June 25th, 2008 at 10:51 am
ExAstrisScientia posted 5 minutes ago and i got nothing. How long should the delay be?
June 25th, 2008 at 10:52 am
Not that long. It appears not to be working.
June 25th, 2008 at 10:53 am
I got nothing either, I fell like Charlie Brown on Halloween
June 25th, 2008 at 10:56 am
I’m giving it a shot too.
June 25th, 2008 at 10:57 am
of course I meant feel not fell, sorry I have been very sick all week
June 25th, 2008 at 10:57 am
10 minutes and nothing.
And Dave, as long as you stand there and look pretty, anything counts
June 25th, 2008 at 10:59 am
I changed the location of the form in the code. I think it might be working now. At least for the people who subscribed after I changed it.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Bingo. It’s working.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:02 am
yes it works now my, inbox just filled up with Puntabulous
June 25th, 2008 at 11:03 am
Let me try somebody say sumtin
June 25th, 2008 at 11:03 am
Woo hoo! Okay, glad it’s working.
Now let’s get back on topic and discuss the awesomeness of these cookies.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:04 am
sumtin.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:05 am
Cool, It works, love it!
June 25th, 2008 at 11:05 am
So, Craig, what did the cookie scrumptiousness taste like?
June 25th, 2008 at 11:08 am
I’ll try it again here.
June 25th, 2008 at 11:11 am
of course now I will have to bake an Evil Bunny cake
June 25th, 2008 at 11:19 am
I suddenly see an exhorbitant number of FedExed baked goods in your future, Craig…
June 25th, 2008 at 11:24 am
A cake of Evil Bunny magnitude could never be trusted to a delivery service, that is a hand deliver item
June 25th, 2008 at 11:50 am
“my inbox just filled up with Puntabulous” - Ya know, I had a dream JUST like that the other day!
And Dave S., I don’t know if it makes me a dork or not, but I’ve got the VCR/DVD combo as well…but when you have as much pre-DVD porn as I do, well, dorky or not, it’s a necessity.
HUGS…
June 25th, 2008 at 11:59 am
Hayden just want to say hi to all the suckers that signed up to receive every e-mail that Craig gets..
June 25th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
lol Polt, I had that dream last week, I was thinking of starting my own blog and using that as my first post
June 25th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Polt: I’ve been told that I’m odd because I own no porn whatsoever and I don’t even have any on my computer.
Is that weird to the rest of the world?
Wait, we’re supposed to be talking about cookies…
June 25th, 2008 at 12:13 pm
just remember, if the effects of eating Super Viagra last for more than 4 hours, seek medical attention.
Dave S: Yes, very weird. Go download a clip of Pamela and Tommy right now so that you aren’t a total pariah.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Is anyone else dizzy from reading these comments?
Porn! Penises! Cookies! Oh My!
June 25th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Hmm, those cookies aren’t going to help eliminate the “secretary’s spread…”
I’m just saying…
June 25th, 2008 at 12:58 pm
So I was just scrolling down to post a comment about how adorable those cookies were and as i was rapidly scrolling to the bottom I thought I saw something about subscribing to penises?
yes please.
June 25th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Now that Craig has his subscribe to comments feature up and running, I think we will notice a sudden drop in work productivity all across the US.
June 25th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
True, Sue, but morale will be at an all-time high.
June 25th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Dave S., I think it is a little weird that you own no porn whatsoever…not even a Playboy hiding in the back of the closet.
And just so I stay on topic, anyone ever seen a penis shapen cookie?
HUGS…
June 25th, 2008 at 1:42 pm
phineas57, there is nothing more that I like than a “secretary’s spread”, but i do believe that we are talking about different things….
June 25th, 2008 at 1:43 pm
Wow! I just noticed the relationship between Avitable’s big penis and the NAME of this post!
June 25th, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Sue: I know I’ve welcomed the distraction today.
Dave S.: My initial though was that it seemed strange, but I had two follow up questions (to which I am not expecting an answer): is it that you watch, but don’t own? and or is it that the side effect of no unsightly flatness that the ladies are lined up and you don’t “need” porn.
If it is the second, I’m not sure I want you to answer.
Polt: I am sad to say, I have seen a penis shaped cookie. But I neither made or eated it.
June 25th, 2008 at 1:57 pm
well since we are heading in that direction I believe that this post should reach 100 comments
and I have eaten a penis-shaped cookie and was dissapointed at the lack of “cream filling”
woo-hoo I just grossed out all the straight guys
June 25th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Based on the dave s pictures that were once posted on puntabulous i think the reason he has no porn is because he stars in it. He doesn’t like to take his job home with him….I like the lips south of the border so I’m not sure if he belongs in teh porn industry, any thoughts puntabulous fans?
June 25th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Dave S: Yes, you are crazy for not having porn, although I like lisalips idea. I’m sure Polt does too.
June 25th, 2008 at 2:13 pm
ExAstrisScientia: Yes. Yes, you did.
June 25th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
“woo-hoo I just grossed out all the straight guys” And aroused all us queerbois.
And after having spoken with Dave S., I truly don’t think he does porn…but with his abs, it’s truly a shame he doesn’t.
HUGS… (how close to 100 comments ARE we anyway?)
June 25th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Hmm. Dave as porn star… Considering I’ve only ever had sex with one person in my life, I somehow don’t think I’d be all that entertaining…
And cookies — we’re supposed to be talking about cookies. Porn cookies. That get emailed to you. By a penis.
Or something like that…
June 25th, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Dave S: You are such a good boy.
Polt: Why don’t you have an Avatar? Get one!
Nicky: How come your’s still doesn’t show up?
June 25th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
WOW! This post could have been a Teach Me Something Tuesday because boy (or is that boi now?) am I learning stuff today.
June 25th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
So what’s the difference between boi and boy?
And that icing sure looks tasty! (trying to keep it about cookies…)
June 25th, 2008 at 2:56 pm
What icing?
June 25th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
Polt it has been a long time since I aroused a whole group of “queerbois”
June 25th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Hey, there’s icing on there! Holding the eyes on. And the mouth.
Okay okay…I admit I didn’t review the images before posting that. But, hey, it’s a lot of effort to scroll up past *70* comments…
June 25th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
as I recall a boy is a young man and a boi is a young gay man in search of a daddy
June 25th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Are you sure Captain Flaccid hasn’t invented some sort of cookifying ray?
June 25th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
The word Cookie comes from the Dutch word koekje or (informal) koekie which means little cake (from Wikipedia and Good Eats (yay Alton Brown)).
I have also heard cookie is slang for the female genitalia.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
and I give up on getting my f*cking Avatar to work here
June 25th, 2008 at 3:11 pm
John: Yes, “cookie” is indeed slang for vagina. Which makes it even more appropriate that our little Valerie Vase was made into one.
June 25th, 2008 at 3:34 pm
I will NEVER think of a vag as a cookie!
June 25th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Gives a whole new meaning to the Puntabulous Cookie/Brownie debate…
June 25th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
I can’t seem to get an avatar to work….
And yes, I suppose that fact, moreso than owning a VCR/DVD, makes me a dork.
HUGS….
June 25th, 2008 at 3:56 pm
Cookies are awesome.
Dave S.: is there another meaning to Brownie that I don’t know?
(I think this makes 81! 19 more to go)
June 25th, 2008 at 4:09 pm
Please do not reveal another meaning for Brownies!!!!
I will not have all my snack items ruined in one day!
June 25th, 2008 at 4:19 pm
I keep brownies locked up in my basement. They don’t scream as loud as those girl scouts that “sell” cookies every spring. Luckily some of those girls are selling alot more than cookies…
June 25th, 2008 at 4:44 pm
Craig: I’m thrilled that the cookies arrived safely and that you enjoyed them. I’ll confess to playing a very minimal role in their creation (shopping for ingredients with an eye toward decoration). Ξ_Heather and the Big G did all the real work on this one.
I’m working on a tamale design just in case Charo eventually joins the Flaccettes.
June 25th, 2008 at 4:52 pm
I imagine that once revealed, Captain Flaccid’s cookie will have to be of the “soft-baked” variety
June 25th, 2008 at 5:24 pm
Glad that they arrived safe and sound. And that Argyle made an appearance!
Sue, I’m pretty sure that Martha Stewart wouldn’t have a lime-green radiator under that cover. And she probably would have put away the watering can that was last used to add water to the
Christmas tree stand.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:19 pm
Those cookies are just too cute. And I’m with whoever said above that I figured Vagina Girl would be the one to make you sick. And I kept waiting for you to quip about this being the first time you ever ate a girl or a vagina.
And evil bunny would be adorable in cake. It would be pretty easy to do. And i have a great recipe for layered brownies you could use to make Viagra Boy and Vagina Girl brownies.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:21 pm
Oh and kudos to Heather and TwoPi for being so creative. Y’all did a great job.
June 25th, 2008 at 8:30 pm
Evil Bunny cake would have to have the red cake on the inside like the groom’s cake on Steel Magnolias
June 25th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
90 comments so far! Only 10 more to go! C’mon guys, we can pull together! Yeah! We can get the gang together and put on a show in the old barn! Gee, that’ll help little Jimmy’s family pay his doctor bills! Golly, that would be great!
Oh, wait, I think that was something different…
June 25th, 2008 at 9:29 pm
The idea of Craig eating Vagina Girl cookies reminded me of a scene towards the end of Eating Out 2.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:49 pm
Dave S. I am so glad you are behind the 100 comment goal.
You’re ok, for a straight guy.
June 25th, 2008 at 9:54 pm
Umm…thanks?
June 25th, 2008 at 10:22 pm
“Evil Bunny cake would have to have the red cake on the inside like the groom’s cake on Steel Magnolias”
“That’s no cake. That’s an autopsy.”
June 26th, 2008 at 2:15 am
I don’t know why mine doesn’t show up
: (
Cause my ugliness breaks the application. lol
June 26th, 2008 at 3:50 am
Those Godzilla baking shots made me snort Diet Pepsi out of my nose. I’m not joking. You gotta have, like, a warning posted. Or something. That was TOO funny.
June 26th, 2008 at 6:45 am
I think I have the same problem Nicky
June 26th, 2008 at 7:05 am
ExAstrisScientia and Nicky: I see both of your avatars in my admin page. Do you have your avatars set up in both gravatar.com and mybloglog.com?
June 26th, 2008 at 7:15 am
Yes I do, my avatar shows up on Mike’s blog
June 26th, 2008 at 7:19 am
And by the way guys,
100!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
June 26th, 2008 at 7:25 am
Good work team! No place to go but down!
June 26th, 2008 at 7:28 am
well I won’t speak for everyone, but I enjoy going down every once in a while
June 26th, 2008 at 7:29 am
Surely Dave S will have something to say to that.
June 26th, 2008 at 10:52 am
The cookies are adorable. But the post title is cruelly misleading…
June 26th, 2008 at 4:50 pm
Hey! That’s great that we hit 100!
Now get the hell over to today’s post — we’re falling behind, boys and girls.
(And I’d comment on going down, Craig, but I can’t think of a way to do it for a family audience…)
June 26th, 2008 at 6:31 pm
Ahhhh, looks like you need to get your gorgeous ass over to todays post. By the way, did I mention that your ass is perfection personified? Anywho, Only one person??? Really!!!
June 26th, 2008 at 10:30 pm
Good lord! 100 comments about cookies! You are too much. LOL
Those cookies are adorable. Have you finished eating them yet? I’ve got a hankerin’ for a little vagina right about now.
Yes, I said that.