I was kinda hoping you’d show us the pants expanding…with you in them.
I think, Craiggers, that only a pair of pants YOU own would speak from the crotch and not from, say, the zipper, or the buttonhole or something.
Soooo, are we going to see Amazing Stretch Pants in a team-up with Super Viagra and Vagina Girl? I mean, there ARE three Flacidettes (or whatever they’re called)!
“Curses! My evil plot was once again foiled by that do-gooder Super Amazing Stretchpants! I’ll never rule the fashion runways of New York while he protects these hapless citizens from chafing, discomfort, and poor fit! Damn you, Super Amazing Stretchpants!!!”
He pushes a button with determination. “Mustardstain, my evil minion — come in here! We must devise a plan to stop our hapless foil!”
“Um, I’m standing right beside you, boss.”
“Oh, yes…of course you are… I, um, was just, uh, testing the, um… Nevermind! Now, stop messing around! We have important things to worry about!”
“I…um…really can’t mess around while I’m just standing here…”
“–Things like how to discover Super Amazing Stretchpants’ weakness!”
“…I was just trying to get you to grasp that I wasn’t…”
“CLASP!”
“Huh?”
“Mustardstain, you’re a step closer to genius!!”
“…you mean I’m not a dolt anymore…?”
“A poorly designed clasp will bring him down!”
“…um, actually, I said ‘grasp’…”
“Quickly, Mustardstain! To the Pleatmobile! We must get to Craig’s before Super Amazing Stretchpants retreats to the laundry!!”
1.) I’ve experienced the same thing recently and just stopped eating. it worked wonders. I’m now 105lbs of sexy.
2.) Comic sans makes me irrationally violent. As a graphic designer, I constantly get people emailing me their “ideas for their logo” or “Here’s what we’re thinking for the poster art”……any guess what font I get about 95% of the time?
Joe, you’re absolutely right! As a graphic designer myself, I’m consistently amazed at how people use comic sans completely inappropriately. I’ve even seen it used for “official” emails from management, which is crazy. Do they really want management to be associated with “comic”?
That being said, though, I have to admit that there *are* appropriate uses for it. Like here, which fits in with it’s original purpose.
Craig: The biggest problem with Comic Sans isn’t it’s somewhat poor design and horrible kerning — there are *lots* of fonts with those two unfortunate qualities — but rather it’s ubiquitous and consistently inappropriate usage.
Mark: “Hmm. This person’s resume appears to be an entire page of unreadable blackness. A blackboard of blankness on which we can inscribe with our corporate chalk a willingness to bend to our conglomerate will! Yes!! Hire this man!”
Who are all these people using Comic Sans? I hardly ever see it, except in everything I write myself (because I DO want math class to be associated with something comic. Although if they had “Inject terror into every fiber of your being through the use of the quadratic formula” font, I suppose I’d have to check it out.)
Craig, bummer about your pants. I think Polt sabotaged them.
Ryan R: Chisled abs, (such as Dave S’s) are “angular” too. A chisled jaw is angular. I can think of a few more things, but they aren’t appropriate. Angular aint bad.
Mark: If Dave S’s abs were perfectly angular, they wouldn’t be as popular. Anyone who tried cuddling with him would get cut and have to go to the emergency room. Things need smooth edges.
Ryan R.: Dammit. *That’s* why my soon-to-be-ex-wife went out on me — my abs were too damn Arial-like. A-ha! I *knew* it wasn’t because of my personality and poor husbandry!
The problem with comic sans is just that it’s overused. I think.
“(and) guess what font I get about 95% of the time?”
See, that comment did tell you the problem.
I remember a while ago when the font really burst on the scene, and even I used it then. But it did get overused and now seeing it can be annoying.
Honestly, I didn’t even notice it in this post though. Maybe you need a ‘death of comic sans’ post…
Dave s.: I agree completely there are appropriate times to use comic sans. When putting together your high school newsletter, or printing funny iron-on transfers for your teenage friends.
(My largest client is a children’s hospital chain….so you can imagine how many people I get that email me powerpoint presentations all typed in comic sans and ask, “Can you print this on a cooler?”…..sometimes I cry at night.)
What an interesting day this has been on Puntabulous!
Craig, you look pretty far from soft in the center. Plus it could be worse, your back yard could be a back 40. I hate pants with that kind of closure, give me a button any day.
Comic Sans works perfect for this post as is resembles a comic. I will admit I don’t care for it in business settings.
As for resumes, the rule of thumb is clear and easy to read (Palatino, Times New Roman, I also like Hoefler Text). I look at 100 resumes a week, if it isn’t clear, it isn’t read.
OMG I want cookies now. Because deep beneath this perfect veneer….(WHAT!? it’s the internet I can be perfect)….there beats the clogged heart of a fat man.
Also, I’m in the anti-Comic Sans group. The font just says, “I’m just so casual! I mean, look at the font I chose for sending email!” All of that is of course said in a voice that is hard to explain and would be better conveyed in person. So… can I come over?
As a graphic designer candidate I publically declare my utter and complete hate for Arial, Times New Roman, Impact and especially Comic Sans MS. Arial is a badly made imitation of Helvetica, a much prettier font; Times New Roman is a bad replica of Times, again a much prettier original, though I prefer Garamond for Serifs; Impact is just plain disgusting and Comic Sans is… I won’t even say it.
July 2nd, 2008 at 7:04 am
Could it be that something expands several times a day and that is why the pants are stretching. Please oh please tell us more
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:17 am
Does your new and improved softness in the center mean you are crunchy on the outside?
Confidential to Dave S.: Thanks for your comment on 6/30. You rock, man.
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:25 am
Looks like you have 2 options:
1. Join the gym on mainstreet
2. Go to Kohl’s and get yourself some Haggar “Expandable Waist” pants, they are great for work and you can still say you’re a 34″ waist
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:34 am
I was kinda hoping you’d show us the pants expanding…with you in them.
I think, Craiggers, that only a pair of pants YOU own would speak from the crotch and not from, say, the zipper, or the buttonhole or something.
Soooo, are we going to see Amazing Stretch Pants in a team-up with Super Viagra and Vagina Girl? I mean, there ARE three Flacidettes (or whatever they’re called)!
HUGS…
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:09 am
Aw. You and your pants talk in Comic Sans. That’s just plain sad.
http://bancomicsans.com/
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:09 am
Don’t worry about the “new and improved softness in the center” It just means “New Look, Same Great Taste”
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:16 am
Can someone explain all the hate for comic sans? I don’t get it.
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:28 am
I don’tget it either, My boss HATES Arial??? Nothing but Times New Roman. Go figure.
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:31 am
Last week at the lair of the evil Dr. Twillpants…
“Curses! My evil plot was once again foiled by that do-gooder Super Amazing Stretchpants! I’ll never rule the fashion runways of New York while he protects these hapless citizens from chafing, discomfort, and poor fit! Damn you, Super Amazing Stretchpants!!!”
He pushes a button with determination. “Mustardstain, my evil minion — come in here! We must devise a plan to stop our hapless foil!”
“Um, I’m standing right beside you, boss.”
“Oh, yes…of course you are… I, um, was just, uh, testing the, um… Nevermind! Now, stop messing around! We have important things to worry about!”
“I…um…really can’t mess around while I’m just standing here…”
“–Things like how to discover Super Amazing Stretchpants’ weakness!”
“…I was just trying to get you to grasp that I wasn’t…”
“CLASP!”
“Huh?”
“Mustardstain, you’re a step closer to genius!!”
“…you mean I’m not a dolt anymore…?”
“A poorly designed clasp will bring him down!”
“…um, actually, I said ‘grasp’…”
“Quickly, Mustardstain! To the Pleatmobile! We must get to Craig’s before Super Amazing Stretchpants retreats to the laundry!!”
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:34 am
1.) I’ve experienced the same thing recently and just stopped eating. it worked wonders. I’m now 105lbs of sexy.
2.) Comic sans makes me irrationally violent. As a graphic designer, I constantly get people emailing me their “ideas for their logo” or “Here’s what we’re thinking for the poster art”……any guess what font I get about 95% of the time?
Loooooooove,
joe
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:40 am
Dave S: You are a genius. I love the name Mustardstain and the Pleatmobile.
Joe: Yes, but you still haven’t told me what’s so bad about it!
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:40 am
I see a whole new series coming…(clapping and jumping up and down)
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:40 am
Joe, you’re absolutely right! As a graphic designer myself, I’m consistently amazed at how people use comic sans completely inappropriately. I’ve even seen it used for “official” emails from management, which is crazy. Do they really want management to be associated with “comic”?
That being said, though, I have to admit that there *are* appropriate uses for it. Like here, which fits in with it’s original purpose.
Just don’t put it in a logo. Ever.
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:48 am
Craig: The biggest problem with Comic Sans isn’t it’s somewhat poor design and horrible kerning — there are *lots* of fonts with those two unfortunate qualities — but rather it’s ubiquitous and consistently inappropriate usage.
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:51 am
Dave S: Are you saying I shouldn’t use “Impact” for my resume? Maybe that’s why nobody has called.
July 2nd, 2008 at 9:53 am
*finger touches belly*
Tee hee
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:19 am
Mark: “Hmm. This person’s resume appears to be an entire page of unreadable blackness. A blackboard of blankness on which we can inscribe with our corporate chalk a willingness to bend to our conglomerate will! Yes!! Hire this man!”
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:25 am
Mark: I hate Arial. It’s so angular.
Craig: You’ve completed the first step to becoming Mr. Incredible. Now you just need to build a spaceship and get exposed to cosmic radiation.
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:26 am
Who are all these people using Comic Sans? I hardly ever see it, except in everything I write myself (because I DO want math class to be associated with something comic. Although if they had “Inject terror into every fiber of your being through the use of the quadratic formula” font, I suppose I’d have to check it out.)
Craig, bummer about your pants. I think Polt sabotaged them.
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:35 am
Ryan R: Chisled abs, (such as Dave S’s) are “angular” too. A chisled jaw is angular. I can think of a few more things, but they aren’t appropriate. Angular aint bad.
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:37 am
Heather: Polt wishes he could get his hands on Craigs pants
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:27 am
Mark: If Dave S’s abs were perfectly angular, they wouldn’t be as popular. Anyone who tried cuddling with him would get cut and have to go to the emergency room. Things need smooth edges.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:42 am
Ryan R: You win a new pocket protector ;-). I didn’t mean Perfectly Angular, I was speaking more in artistic terms.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:45 am
Ryan R.: Dammit. *That’s* why my soon-to-be-ex-wife went out on me — my abs were too damn Arial-like. A-ha! I *knew* it wasn’t because of my personality and poor husbandry!
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:55 am
Did I hear right? Dave S. is soon to be single? Dude, come over to the Dark Side…Join Us Dave….Join Us!!!!!!
OK, I know that doesn’t work without the eerie music, but it was worth a shot.
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:55 am
BTDT on the clasp thing. No comment.
As for comic sans, whatever.
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Join us. We have cookies.
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:05 pm
The problem with comic sans is just that it’s overused. I think.
“(and) guess what font I get about 95% of the time?”
See, that comment did tell you the problem.
I remember a while ago when the font really burst on the scene, and even I used it then. But it did get overused and now seeing it can be annoying.
Honestly, I didn’t even notice it in this post though. Maybe you need a ‘death of comic sans’ post…
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
The fourth frame is my favorite.
And comic sans? You might as well do your graphic design work in MSPaint…
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:13 pm
That’s the saddest movie Bossy ever saw.
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:23 pm
You have cookies!?! Nobody ever told me you have *cookies*…
Hey, wait, didn’t we just learn that cookies were slang for something…?
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:29 pm
The only cookies you’ll get on this side are the soft chewy kind. (Wait, Does that help or hurt our side?)
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:34 pm
We have sausages too, you know on a bun with fried onions and green peppers, (what were you thinking?)
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:39 pm
No DoubleStuf Oreos or Nutter Butters?!
And I’m not a fan of sausage (on a number of levels…).
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:42 pm
I don’t know about nutter butters, but we specialize in nutty bars
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:44 pm
I’d like to butter your nutters.
That is all. Carry on.
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Damn Dave, that is the best compliment anyone could get! Wow! Craig just got dirty! I Love It!!!
July 2nd, 2008 at 12:52 pm
I just saw a side of Craig we don’t see often, I’m tellin Polt, He’ll love it.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:07 pm
I’m sorry, Craig just meant he would like to spread Peanut flavored butter onto Peanut shaped wafers. Leave it to me to read to much into things.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:13 pm
I’m going to bed now because I have to work tonight (collective sigh of relief)
Love You All
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
Dear Craig,
Here are a couple links that may help explain why comic sans is evil.
http://s46.photobucket.com/albums/f130/psyczo/?action=view¤t=comicsans.png
http://www.marblegravy.com/articles/comic_sans.htm
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:57 pm
HA! and I just saw the butter your nutters comment. Brilliant.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Thanks! Wrapping my O around your Reo just didn’t make as much sense.
Chip your Ahoy?
Fig your Newton?
Hostess your Cupcake?
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
Ding your Dong?
Fudge your Round?
….omg that last one made me gag a little bit.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:13 pm
Ding your Dong is genius!
Scooter your Pie?
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Dave s.: I agree completely there are appropriate times to use comic sans. When putting together your high school newsletter, or printing funny iron-on transfers for your teenage friends.
(My largest client is a children’s hospital chain….so you can imagine how many people I get that email me powerpoint presentations all typed in comic sans and ask, “Can you print this on a cooler?”…..sometimes I cry at night.)
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Is my use of comic sans in my cartoons (Super Viagra and Vagina Girl in particular) acceptable?
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Yes, Craig, your use of comic sans in your work is perfectly acceptable.
Your cookie puns, however…
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:41 pm
What an interesting day this has been on Puntabulous!
Craig, you look pretty far from soft in the center. Plus it could be worse, your back yard could be a back 40. I hate pants with that kind of closure, give me a button any day.
Comic Sans works perfect for this post as is resembles a comic. I will admit I don’t care for it in business settings.
As for resumes, the rule of thumb is clear and easy to read (Palatino, Times New Roman, I also like Hoefler Text). I look at 100 resumes a week, if it isn’t clear, it isn’t read.
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:48 pm
The problem with comic sans is that it just isn’t funny. Like most comics.
A university study (I believe it was U of WA) found that Tahoma was most legible, quickest to read font. I don’t know why I know this, I just do.
Craig, I see a pattern here. Your mom has already commented on your “secretary’s spread.” Do you really want her to call you “Poppin’
Fresh?”
I’m just saying…
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:34 pm
OMG I want cookies now. Because deep beneath this perfect veneer….(WHAT!? it’s the internet I can be perfect)….there beats the clogged heart of a fat man.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:57 pm
Joe, if the internet can make me funny, it should certainly be able to make you perfect.
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:33 pm
vuboq likes comic sans. and arial. and super amazing stretch pants (as long as they are flat-fronts and not *shudder* pleated).
*smooches*
July 2nd, 2008 at 6:09 pm
Heather, I can assure I did not sabotage them.
Mark: I want to get my hands IN, not on, Craigger’s pants.
And if Dave S. does decide to venture over into the darkside, I volunteer to be his tourguide!
Toll your House? Oat your meal? (What? All the good cookie names were already used!!!)
THIS is what I get for commenting early and not coming back until late in the day..
POLT
July 2nd, 2008 at 6:21 pm
Comic Sans is so trashy.
I have some Super Amazing Stretch Pants, too! With a matching sweatshirt!
But I call them , “My Eatin’ Clothes”.
July 2nd, 2008 at 8:01 pm
Sugar your cookie? (Butter your cookie?)
Snicker your doodle?
July 2nd, 2008 at 10:07 pm
Hey! They’ll be no snickering about my doodle…
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:18 pm
I’m just happy your pants aren’t pleated.
Also, I’m in the anti-Comic Sans group. The font just says, “I’m just so casual! I mean, look at the font I chose for sending email!” All of that is of course said in a voice that is hard to explain and would be better conveyed in person. So… can I come over?
July 2nd, 2008 at 11:37 pm
Dave S., post proof.
July 3rd, 2008 at 5:15 am
As a graphic designer candidate I publically declare my utter and complete hate for Arial, Times New Roman, Impact and especially Comic Sans MS. Arial is a badly made imitation of Helvetica, a much prettier font; Times New Roman is a bad replica of Times, again a much prettier original, though I prefer Garamond for Serifs; Impact is just plain disgusting and Comic Sans is… I won’t even say it.