Coty & Craig: That was “the” totally the truth, about the typo — allegedly. I wasn’t going to mention it but doing so provided an opportunity to mess with Coty for second because he made a typo in his comment (above) notifying Craig of his typo. I’m totally joking though Craig, thanks for the awesome entertainment — I love Puntabulous! Coty, thanks for letting me ruffle your feathers and not getting all bent out of shape.
I’m off like a prom dress — allegedly! Hasta manana.
Thanks for catching my mistake Coty! I fixed it. And congratulations on the first comment!
True Story: In one of my grad classes a few years ago, this really awful professor told a story about a former student, and kept referring to her as a “colored girl”. We were in a pretty diverse class (less than 50% white people) and all sat there shocked, while he continued to use the phrase seriously without any hesitation. Finally a woman yelled out completely straight-faced: “What color were they?” It was awesome. I still don’t think he thought anything was wrong with it. Clearly it inspired some of the above frames.
Thanks! I wanted to say something useful instead of just my victory “First Post!” comment which I was dying to do. But I was pretty excited, I’m not gonna lie.
I think sometimes people are unintentionally racist/sexist/gaycist and aren’t aware of it until it’s pointed out to them.
And just wondering: What was your professor’s response to “What color were they?”
He just kind of stuttered and stammered a bit until someone else yelled out “Blue!” and we all laughed, and then he continued on with the story without using the word “colored”.
Craiggers, I bow in reverance to you and you’re obvious greatness. I wish I could come up with such awesomeness to post on my own blog. And I wish I had an ink sac. With good aim.
Hehe. I always thought women came from sugar and spice and everything nice. I’ve never considered that a intermittent, misfiring ink sac could be nice.
Mark, I always assumed the two bulbous thingies were for beginning juggling students. You know, like Juggling for Dummies. Beginners can practice tossing them without worrying about dropping them.
I knew it was Adam and Eve before those annoying angels came along and messed everything up. And even though Adam looks completely the same in every panel where he appears, I think he looks a little more dead inside on the final one.
Mark: That’s why younger ladies work best for students of juggling — they don’t fall far. Too old and you have to bend over to pick them up if you drop them…
Coty: Sorry, I shouldn’t have sniped back. Craig’s blog is about friendship and acceptance. Even when people make sarcastic jokes. Craig’s comment, I’m sure, was said in love. I’m sorry if I took your comment the wrong way.
Mark: And I’m sorry I stole that joke from Will and Grace. You’re my new best friend. Call me every 5 minutes. Whoops! I did it again! (By “it” I mean “Craig”, and by “Craig” I mean “Craig’s mom”, and by “Craig’s mom” I mean “Mark”)
john: Not a silly question. A little bit. :-/ Terrified of dating. Why can’t a beautiful woman with a great personality just come up and say, “Gee, you look like a swell guy. Wanna go out for a drink and a museum tour? Maybe a superhero flick after? Or maybe we could just eat Oreos and beer while watching Family Guy.”
Dave S. Oreos, a beer, Family Guy AND a chick? What alternate dimension are you living in? Maybe you’re just not looking for a date in the right place? Course, being straight, a gay bar wouldn’t really be a good place for you to find a date.
Actually, a gay bar’s not a good place for a gay guy to find a date. A “friend” for the evening, sure! but a date…NAH!
Oh, and no, juggling would NOT be my biggest concern….
Dave S.: That is totally fair, by your telling it seems to have been a while since you have been on the market. I’m not sure how the ladies will react to this but you might want to try asking one out instead of waiting for one to ask you? And at the risk of sounding overly complimentary, given the shape you are in, do you think they might find you a bit intimidating to approach?
I also agree with Polt. Oreos, beer, Family Guy and chick sounds like a mythical creature; like the leprechauns, big foot and gay Republicans.
DaveS just described me. LOL. Though, did he mean oreos and beer at the same time? not sure I could handle them together, but I’m good with them seperate. And I like action movies and museums. Do you like college football? gourmet food? Too bad I’m too old and not local. (Pout) I’d so ask you ot for a drink and a museum.
Craig, seriously, that was the funniest thing yet!
john: Yeah, but it’s not like I’m all naked at a bar or the grocery store, so intimidation isn’t a factor. Well, unless that bloody knife in my back pocket would be considered intimidating.
Personally, I’m just too damn shy. And completely unconfident (and in the words of Craig: That is totally a word).
Dee Loralei: Yes! Oreos and beer and the same time! It’s truly awesome. You’re not, like, dunking the Oreos, just relishing the sweet-flavored cholesterol complimenting the hops-and-barley sparkle of a local brew. Mmmmm…
Love gourmet food and I can at least say that I enjoy catching a good Buckeye game. Of course, where I live, I’d get drawn and quartered if I didn’t watch Buckeye football…
And according to my teenaged daughter I *am* old, so maybe you’re not so far off. And everyone’s local to the midwest — whether you believe it or not.
Dave S.: I can relate to your dating anxiety. When I was much younger I had a crush on a girl. People found out and It did not end well. I was tormented with a theme song, to the tune of Cocomo, mocking me for months. Needless so say that injured my confidence and inhibited my ability to effectively pursue anyone I was ever interested in for many years.
(Complicated Brokeback Mountainesque story suppressed for brevity)
A few years ago I began to accept that I was gay. The first few steps were some of the hardest of my life. Fortunately I found a great coming out support group. Expanding my social comfort zone became one of my core objectives. After being shy, introverted, and repressed for most of my life I was finally taking charge of my destiny. I actually asked guys out, and went on dates! Some went well, some just went, and one was bad enough to inspire a episode of a comedy. But I always survived, and learned from the experiences. My successes inspired greater confidence.
Dating is just one way to meet people, and may not even be the best. You might want to consider visiting a single parent support group. That might be a way to meet and get to know women in a similar situation without the pressure of a date right off the bat. A good support group can also be a great source of inspiration and encouragement in general.
I saw that your blog covers your local music scene. That may also be a great way to meet women with a common interest. I have met lots of interesting people, and made some good friends through my own involvement.
The strongest chains that hold us back are forged by our own fears. If we can conquer that the potential is indeed vast!
Dave S.: I made the leap that you aren’t naked everywhere you go, but even clothed, a defector from the flat butt society still stands out. I’m not saying I’m right, just a thought is all.
The only thing I can add to Chris’s great story and advice is that I have found confidence exists if you think it does. You may be down now, which is understandable, but you are funny, in great shape, talented, driven, I hope you are getting the idea, and have a great deal to offer. The right woman will get it.
We now return to our regularly scheduled Puntabulous programming:
Polt is my new hero because redwood-esque struck me as very funny, but that could just be the exhaustion talking.
Chris: Isn’t dating the worst thing ever devised? I’m sure Satan himself was somehow involved in the concept… But you’re right — fear is a huge demotivator.
Maybe it’s a bit premature, but I’ve recently concluded that I have to be okay with assuming that I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. I don’t mean that in a pessimistic, poor-me sort of way, but rather that I have to be okay without a woman at my side. Maybe it’ll happen, but it won’t happen by constantly looking. Just need for it to happen naturally.
But on the up side, my relationship with my kids has never been better.
For you, Dave S., I’ll share ownership of the word. And hey, at least your relationship with your kids has improved. And hey, you’re kids will ALWAYS be your kids…anyone you start dating, you won’t necessarily ALWAYS be with.
Have some confidence. Seriously. WIth abs like yours, God knows I would.
There is a litany against fear ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bene_Gesserit#The_litany_against_fear ) from Dune that helped me a great deal. I would say it to myself before I psyched myself up to do something I was afraid of. It helped me to visualize my fear, acknowledge it, and see that it passed.
(Yes, I liked the movie Dune, as did I Blade Runner. So I suppose Craig has to make a YouTube video mocking my favorite scene from Dune now. For symmetry, of course.)
Another great resource for dealing with fear in one’s life is the book Way of the Peaceful Warrior ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Way_of_the_Peaceful_Warrior ). Which has been adapted into a movie (for the less literarily inclined).
I agree that we have to be comfortable with ourselves. There can be a temptation to want someone to “make us happy”, when we ought to work on making our own happiness. I want to be happy with myself, and perhaps one day fall in love with a guy who is happy with himself. I think that a synergistic relationship based on mutual inspiration and encouragement might be great. In the meantime I am working on trying to live the best life I can for myself, and those around me.
I am glad that you have a good relationship with your kids. Good parental relationships are hugely important. Children need a good foundation to build their lives.
Actually, I have only seen the original Dune movie. I would like to read the book one day. I have seen a few minutes of the mini-series. I did not have the time to commit to watching all of it when it was on. I may try to catch it on DVD sometime.
Polt: I just caught Craig’s wife Natalie Portman on Project Runway and you are totally right, she is wee-tiny! Heidi Klum towered over her! Craig, your wedding photos must make you look like you married a child bride.
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:31 am
LOL CRAIG! That was the totally the best one ever! Way to go, man!
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:42 am
And I think you have a typo…7 frame: “We don’t believe it colored angels!”
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:10 am
Coty & Craig: That was “the” totally the truth, about the typo — allegedly. I wasn’t going to mention it but doing so provided an opportunity to mess with Coty for second because he made a typo in his comment (above) notifying Craig of his typo. I’m totally joking though
Craig, thanks for the awesome entertainment — I love Puntabulous! Coty, thanks for letting me ruffle your feathers and not getting all bent out of shape.
I’m off like a prom dress — allegedly! Hasta manana.
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:16 am
I don’t have feathers, I’m not that gay…ahaha, right. I would so do feathers (just like I did your mom last night, oh!).
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:04 am
Best ever. “Their aim is atrocious.”
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:16 am
Thanks for catching my mistake Coty! I fixed it. And congratulations on the first comment!
True Story: In one of my grad classes a few years ago, this really awful professor told a story about a former student, and kept referring to her as a “colored girl”. We were in a pretty diverse class (less than 50% white people) and all sat there shocked, while he continued to use the phrase seriously without any hesitation. Finally a woman yelled out completely straight-faced: “What color were they?” It was awesome. I still don’t think he thought anything was wrong with it. Clearly it inspired some of the above frames.
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:19 am
Thanks! I wanted to say something useful instead of just my victory “First Post!” comment which I was dying to do. But I was pretty excited, I’m not gonna lie.
I think sometimes people are unintentionally racist/sexist/gaycist and aren’t aware of it until it’s pointed out to them.
And just wondering: What was your professor’s response to “What color were they?”
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:29 am
He just kind of stuttered and stammered a bit until someone else yelled out “Blue!” and we all laughed, and then he continued on with the story without using the word “colored”.
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:33 am
Craig: That was AWESOME!!!!
I love octopuses are very cool. I also loved the bit about eyes. I’ve always been impressed by the circulatory system myself.
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:38 am
Haha, that’s pretty great. I guess it put him in his place. I’m glad he stopped using the word. For the time being at least.
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:48 am
This was really really funny. Pure genius!
The best line: “Jesus, he’s cranky today.” which works on so many different levels. Hilarious.
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:48 am
Craiggers, I bow in reverance to you and you’re obvious greatness. I wish I could come up with such awesomeness to post on my own blog. And I wish I had an ink sac. With good aim.
HUGS….
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:04 am
Ba ruh BUM!
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:41 am
I guess that was funny… if I get over being offended that you had God cursing…
July 23rd, 2008 at 9:44 am
Oh Nicky, you Debbie Downer! At least he didn’t use his own name in vain.
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:14 am
OMG Craig, you’re goin to Hail!!! Not because of the Post but because you’re gay!
Seriously, that was the funniest ever. Loved it!
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:46 am
Hehe. I always thought women came from sugar and spice and everything nice. I’ve never considered that a intermittent, misfiring ink sac could be nice.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:00 am
You explained the ink sacs with their bad aim, but I still don’t get those two bulbous thingies. Ah, the mysteries of God.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:26 am
Mark, I always assumed the two bulbous thingies were for beginning juggling students. You know, like Juggling for Dummies. Beginners can practice tossing them without worrying about dropping them.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:35 am
But wouldn’t they get twisted up :-\
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:38 am
baaaaahaahahahahaaaaaa. i think i love you.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:44 am
I knew it was Adam and Eve before those annoying angels came along and messed everything up. And even though Adam looks completely the same in every panel where he appears, I think he looks a little more dead inside on the final one.
Funny stuff.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:44 am
Mark: That’s why younger ladies work best for students of juggling — they don’t fall far. Too old and you have to bend over to pick them up if you drop them…
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:50 am
Dave S.: Sounds like you speak from experience. I suspect a man that looks like you has no shortage of juggling students.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:01 pm
OK, I’m going to stand behind you and reach around, you place your hands under mine. Try to follow the motion of my hands with yours. Here we go.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:03 pm
And I thought my sexual allusions were getting racy…geez!
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:08 pm
Coty: sexual allusions?? I’m a preachers’ son.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:11 pm
I agree with Mark, I doubt Dave S. has had ANY trouble finding volunteer to practice the juggling with.
And couldnt us gayboys practice our juggling too, although with a different type of volunteer…and we’d be practicing closer to the ground, methinks….
HUGS…
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Puntabulous Comment Section: You will never find a more wretched hive of sex and perversion.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Mark: Musta been Catholic.
Craig: Right on.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:18 pm
Coty: If my father were a Catholic Priest it would be highly unlikely he would be putting his “seed” where it would sprout. (OH NO HE DIDN’T).
Craig: That’s why you LOVE Us!!
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:21 pm
It might sprout into something that finally goes through puberty.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:24 pm
Coty: Wow, let me know when you complete the process!
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:29 pm
Mark: That burn was such a disaster that even the Red Cross wouldn’t give it coffee.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Coty: Sorry, I shouldn’t have sniped back. Craig’s blog is about friendship and acceptance. Even when people make sarcastic jokes. Craig’s comment, I’m sure, was said in love. I’m sorry if I took your comment the wrong way.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:32 pm
Polt: Aren’t they kinda too small? I mean, it would be like juggling with…I don’t know…paddle balls… With the paddle constantly getting in the way…
Though I have a feeling juggling wouldn’t be your point…
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:33 pm
Oh, and just for the record: I can’t get a date to save my life.
July 23rd, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Mark: And I’m sorry I stole that joke from Will and Grace. You’re my new best friend. Call me every 5 minutes. Whoops! I did it again! (By “it” I mean “Craig”, and by “Craig” I mean “Craig’s mom”, and by “Craig’s mom” I mean “Mark”)
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Oh no you dih’int! So hilarious!
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:15 pm
Dave S.: Um, silly question, but have you tried?
July 23rd, 2008 at 1:38 pm
OHMAGOD.
I’m laughing and now I’m going to Hell.
Thanks Craigers.
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:05 pm
john: Not a silly question. A little bit. :-/ Terrified of dating. Why can’t a beautiful woman with a great personality just come up and say, “Gee, you look like a swell guy. Wanna go out for a drink and a museum tour? Maybe a superhero flick after? Or maybe we could just eat Oreos and beer while watching Family Guy.”
July 23rd, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Dave S. Oreos, a beer, Family Guy AND a chick? What alternate dimension are you living in? Maybe you’re just not looking for a date in the right place? Course, being straight, a gay bar wouldn’t really be a good place for you to find a date.
Actually, a gay bar’s not a good place for a gay guy to find a date. A “friend” for the evening, sure! but a date…NAH!
Oh, and no, juggling would NOT be my biggest concern….
HUGS…
July 23rd, 2008 at 5:27 pm
Dave S.: That is totally fair, by your telling it seems to have been a while since you have been on the market. I’m not sure how the ladies will react to this but you might want to try asking one out instead of waiting for one to ask you? And at the risk of sounding overly complimentary, given the shape you are in, do you think they might find you a bit intimidating to approach?
I also agree with Polt. Oreos, beer, Family Guy and chick sounds like a mythical creature; like the leprechauns, big foot and gay Republicans.
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:01 pm
DaveS just described me. LOL. Though, did he mean oreos and beer at the same time? not sure I could handle them together, but I’m good with them seperate. And I like action movies and museums. Do you like college football? gourmet food? Too bad I’m too old and not local. (Pout) I’d so ask you ot for a drink and a museum.
Craig, seriously, that was the funniest thing yet!
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:02 pm
Ha! You made me spit out my margarita! And, now you owe me another one. at least. Srsly.
July 23rd, 2008 at 6:33 pm
Craig! That was awesome!!!!1!
July 23rd, 2008 at 7:22 pm
john: Yeah, but it’s not like I’m all naked at a bar or the grocery store, so intimidation isn’t a factor. Well, unless that bloody knife in my back pocket would be considered intimidating.
Personally, I’m just too damn shy. And completely unconfident (and in the words of Craig: That is totally a word).
Dee Loralei: Yes! Oreos and beer and the same time! It’s truly awesome. You’re not, like, dunking the Oreos, just relishing the sweet-flavored cholesterol complimenting the hops-and-barley sparkle of a local brew. Mmmmm…
Love gourmet food and I can at least say that I enjoy catching a good Buckeye game. Of course, where I live, I’d get drawn and quartered if I didn’t watch Buckeye football…
And according to my teenaged daughter I *am* old, so maybe you’re not so far off.
And everyone’s local to the midwest — whether you believe it or not. 
July 23rd, 2008 at 8:33 pm
Dave S.: I can relate to your dating anxiety. When I was much younger I had a crush on a girl. People found out and It did not end well. I was tormented with a theme song, to the tune of Cocomo, mocking me for months. Needless so say that injured my confidence and inhibited my ability to effectively pursue anyone I was ever interested in for many years.
(Complicated Brokeback Mountainesque story suppressed for brevity)
A few years ago I began to accept that I was gay. The first few steps were some of the hardest of my life. Fortunately I found a great coming out support group. Expanding my social comfort zone became one of my core objectives. After being shy, introverted, and repressed for most of my life I was finally taking charge of my destiny. I actually asked guys out, and went on dates! Some went well, some just went, and one was bad enough to inspire a episode of a comedy. But I always survived, and learned from the experiences. My successes inspired greater confidence.
Dating is just one way to meet people, and may not even be the best. You might want to consider visiting a single parent support group. That might be a way to meet and get to know women in a similar situation without the pressure of a date right off the bat. A good support group can also be a great source of inspiration and encouragement in general.
I saw that your blog covers your local music scene. That may also be a great way to meet women with a common interest. I have met lots of interesting people, and made some good friends through my own involvement.
The strongest chains that hold us back are forged by our own fears. If we can conquer that the potential is indeed vast!
July 23rd, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Craiggers!!! Just saw Natalie Portman, Your Wife as the guest judge on Project Runway!!! Why didn’t you tell us she was gonna be there?
Man, she is TINY. With you being all redwood-esque and all, that must make for some interesting….positioning….
HUGS…
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:03 pm
Dave S.: I made the leap that you aren’t naked everywhere you go, but even clothed, a defector from the flat butt society still stands out. I’m not saying I’m right, just a thought is all.
The only thing I can add to Chris’s great story and advice is that I have found confidence exists if you think it does. You may be down now, which is understandable, but you are funny, in great shape, talented, driven, I hope you are getting the idea, and have a great deal to offer. The right woman will get it.
We now return to our regularly scheduled Puntabulous programming:
Polt is my new hero because redwood-esque struck me as very funny, but that could just be the exhaustion talking.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:09 pm
Chris: Isn’t dating the worst thing ever devised? I’m sure Satan himself was somehow involved in the concept… But you’re right — fear is a huge demotivator.
Maybe it’s a bit premature, but I’ve recently concluded that I have to be okay with assuming that I’ll be alone for the rest of my life. I don’t mean that in a pessimistic, poor-me sort of way, but rather that I have to be okay without a woman at my side. Maybe it’ll happen, but it won’t happen by constantly looking. Just need for it to happen naturally.
But on the up side, my relationship with my kids has never been better.
July 23rd, 2008 at 11:15 pm
John: ugh. The confidence thing is a killer. :-/ Maybe I’ll get it one of these days…
And I gotta agree, Polt, the “redwood-esque” is one of those words I’m going to have to use myself (and of course pretend it’s my own…)
July 24th, 2008 at 12:06 am
For you, Dave S., I’ll share ownership of the word. And hey, at least your relationship with your kids has improved. And hey, you’re kids will ALWAYS be your kids…anyone you start dating, you won’t necessarily ALWAYS be with.
Have some confidence. Seriously. WIth abs like yours, God knows I would.
HUGS…
July 24th, 2008 at 2:35 am
Dave S.: Fear is indeed a challenge.
There is a litany against fear ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bene_Gesserit#The_litany_against_fear ) from Dune that helped me a great deal. I would say it to myself before I psyched myself up to do something I was afraid of. It helped me to visualize my fear, acknowledge it, and see that it passed.
(Yes, I liked the movie Dune, as did I Blade Runner. So I suppose Craig has to make a YouTube video mocking my favorite scene from Dune now. For symmetry, of course.)
Another great resource for dealing with fear in one’s life is the book Way of the Peaceful Warrior ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Way_of_the_Peaceful_Warrior ). Which has been adapted into a movie (for the less literarily inclined).
I agree that we have to be comfortable with ourselves. There can be a temptation to want someone to “make us happy”, when we ought to work on making our own happiness. I want to be happy with myself, and perhaps one day fall in love with a guy who is happy with himself. I think that a synergistic relationship based on mutual inspiration and encouragement might be great. In the meantime I am working on trying to live the best life I can for myself, and those around me.
I am glad that you have a good relationship with your kids. Good parental relationships are hugely important. Children need a good foundation to build their lives.
July 24th, 2008 at 4:22 am
Only at Puntabulous can you go from God and angels to juggling and dating advice.
July 24th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Chris: I’ve used that same speech as well. Dune is one of my favorite books of all time. Have you seen the Dune miniseries? It is really well done.
July 24th, 2008 at 5:30 pm
Actually, I have only seen the original Dune movie. I would like to read the book one day. I have seen a few minutes of the mini-series. I did not have the time to commit to watching all of it when it was on. I may try to catch it on DVD sometime.
July 24th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Absolutely read the book, it really is amazing. The mini series is very close to the book and is also worth catching.
July 24th, 2008 at 8:24 pm
ha ha , that was totally the best one ever.
July 24th, 2008 at 8:42 pm
Polt: I just caught Craig’s wife Natalie Portman on Project Runway and you are totally right, she is wee-tiny! Heidi Klum towered over her! Craig, your wedding photos must make you look like you married a child bride.