Puntabulous

Teach Me Something Tuesday #16

INTERNATIONAL RADIOTELEPHONY SPELLING ALPHABET

Whenever I spell my last name to people over the phone, and the difficult-to-enunciate letter N comes up, I always say: “N as in Nancy.” And I’ll ask you not to make any Nancy-boy jokes, thank you very much. Well I did it at work the other day and someone corrected me and said the official word I’m supposed to use is “November”. Show of hands: Who knew there were official words you’re supposed to use? Liars!

Well apparently there is, and it’s called the International Radiotelephony Spelling Alphabet. Here they are:

Alpha, Bravo, Charlie, Delta, Echo, Foxtrot, Golf, Hotel, India, Juliett, Kilo, Lima, Mike, November, Oscar, Papa, Quebec, Romeo, Sierra, Tango, Uniform, Victor, Whiskey, X-ray, Yankee, Zulu

So there you have it. If you don’t use these words you are a moron. This alphabetical system was created in 1927, some changes were made in 1932, and then adopted by British and American military forces in 1956. During the Vietnam War, Viet Cong guerrillas were referred to as “Victor Charlies”, and then abbreviated to “Charlies”. You can also say “Whiskey Tango Foxtrot!” which means “What the fuck?” Okay maybe not, but it’s fun to say.

On particular crumby (when I need cheering up) or silly (when I just feel like being a buffoon) days, I enjoy using ridiculous words when spelling things out over the phone. There are a few ways you can do this such as:

Use obsurd words like: “O as in Onomatopoeia.”
Or STDs: “C as in Chlamydia.”
Make it the second word: “P as in Mary Poppins.”
Say it even though the letter doesn’t need clarification: “W as in Wikipedia.”
Bonus points for alliteration: “B as in Bouncing Ball of Boyancy.”
Make up silly sentences for letters that are also words: “Y as in Why does my boyfriend’s Mom hate me so much?”
Change the first letter of common words: “M as in Melevision.”
Use words with silent letters: “K as in Knife.”

Your job today — if you choose to accept it (and you better!) — is to use a ridiculous “Blank as in Blankety Blank” phrase to a complete stranger, or coworker, or anyone who isn’t a friend, and report back to us here and tell us about it. Otherwise:

TELL ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW!

TEACH ME | Craig | August 26, 2008 5:18 am

55 Comments

By Tam (Meee), August 26, 2008 @ 7:10 am

I will attempt to use the phrase, but I’m still working on using “perf” as my new catch phrase.

I’m sure everyone is familiar with Pythagorus. Greek guy, triangle theory (The square of the hypotenuse of a right triangle is equal to the sum of the square of the other two sides), but he also invented his own religion. Here are some of his religion’s rules:
* souls are reincarnated
* beans are evil, any kind of beans, kidney, navy, pork and
* smooth out all bodily indents on pillows and/or beds
* do not step over a crossbar
* do not walk on highways (still good advice today I’d say)
* do not leave the pot’s impression in the ashes after removing it from the fire
* do not let swallows nest under the roof
* do not eat meat (oops, he slaughtered an ox and ate it when he discovered said self-named theorem)
* remain a pacifist (double oops, he died in a bar fight – well a fight)

So there’s some wacky facts about everyone’s favorite Greek mathematician and triangle player.
By Hayden, August 26, 2008 @ 8:10 am

This is a great Teach Me Something Tuesday Craig, not only does it teach me something but it also inspires me to be creative the next time I need to spell something for someone, hopefully using very offensive language, I will start in my 9:30 mtg today…

Question: When you have a light switch on without a light bulb in the socket, is it still using electricity?

Answer: I consulted the head of maintenance at The Old Farmer’s Almanac. Mike says that having the switch on will allow the electricity to progress into the wires that lead to the socket, but without a bulb, the electricity will not be used to illuminate the bulb’s filament (which gives light). Therefore, although the current is in the wiring, the electricity used is so minimal that it hardly registers on the electric meter.

There you go…Happy Tuesday everyone…
By Craig, August 26, 2008 @ 8:18 am

Wow. Great facts so far! I have a good feeling about today.
By David, August 26, 2008 @ 8:42 am

I don’t have any fun facts today, but your post reminded me of two anecdotes.

A friend who was at Mardi Gras witnessed this towering drag queen shouting out “You people are all D-R-……..UNK!

At my first real job out of college, a co-worker of mine used to spell her somewhat unusual first name over the phone as:
“Tilda, T as in terrific, I as in incredible, L as in lovely, D as in delightful, A as in adorable.”
By Hayden, August 26, 2008 @ 8:56 am

Going back to Gin and Tonics, to help make the perfect Gin and Tonic we discussed the virtues of different Gins but how about the other half of this dynamic duo?

The tonic water you’ve been drinking is a neutered version of the real thing. The drink was created by colonial-era Brits living in India to help them imbibe quinine â€” a bitter antimalarial compound found in the bark of the cinchona tree.

The tonic market is dominated by Schweppes and Canada Dry (licensed by Schweppes, bottled by Coca-Cola) and, though Coca-Cola is cagey about revealing the quantity of quinine in either drink, both are overwhelmed by sickly sweet high-fructose corn syrup. Pouring this gloop over a good gin would be like pretending ginger ale is champagne just because of the bubbles.

Fortunately, there are now quality alternatives. New York’s Q tonic is made from Peruvian quinine and sweetened with organic agave; Fever Tree tonic from the U.K. uses Rwandan quinine and is sweetened with cane sugar. Though both boast of their natural ingredients, they’ve taken very different approaches. Fever Tree tastes just as you’d imagine a gourmet tonic would: bittersweet, full-bodied and far fresher than the market-leading treacles. Q is much more delicate. With just a hint of sweetness from the agave, it’s designed with the quinine in mind.

In a taste test of G&Ts using various tonics â€” Canada Dry, Schweppes, Fever Tree and Q â€” the most remarkable difference occurred a few minutes after the drinks had been poured. Only those mixed with Fever Tree and Q had kept their gin fragrance; the drinks with the corn syrup now smelled of nothing at all.

Hope that helps provide some much needed information regarding Gin and Tonics…Happy Drinking!
By john, August 26, 2008 @ 9:00 am

I knew there were official words to use (I am *not* a liar) but never knew them all. I also use Nancy for N and had a rather surly Apple help desk operator correct me, in a not so subtle manner: 8-J as in Juliett-N as in NOVEMBER-9-2 etc.

I haven’t used a silly phrase yet, but absolutely plan to! Great post Craig!
By Dave S., August 26, 2008 @ 9:12 am

“Melevision” Ha!

Hayden: That’s awesome info!!! I gotta find that Q and Fever Tree!

And for something you might not know:
In Islam, the Quran states that you may divorce your wife (wives are not allowed to initiate a divorce) by stating three times “I divorce thee” during a single Tuhr (the period between menstruation). Upon the third statement of the phrase, the divorce is irrevocable. If the man chooses to remarry that same woman, he must wait until she remarries another man and is divorced from that man.

I’m not Islamic (just FYI).
By polt, August 26, 2008 @ 9:19 am

Today post brought to you by the letters P, as in Puntabulous, C, as in Craiggers, and N, as in Nancy-Boy (yeah, I went there. Deal with it), and the Number 5.

Melevision…LOVE it.

HUGS…
By ScottieC, August 26, 2008 @ 9:38 am

Tam reads cracked.com too That was a great article.
By Tam, August 26, 2008 @ 10:02 am

Have you considered converting Dave? Might save some money.

Yep Scottie. Work was slow last week. LOL
By chamblee54, August 26, 2008 @ 10:30 am

I used to work for an elderly alcoholic with a great affection for *pause, inhale* Golf. Whenver he said the magic word, he would *pause* take a breath, tilt his head to the
side and say with utmost reverence, Golf. Is this the proper proctocol for the letter “G”?
By Ray Ray, August 26, 2008 @ 10:57 am

C as in Chlamydia might further confuse things because it’s a hard C, as in K. You might just say C as in See You Next Tuesday. I’d stick with N as in Nancy (boy). Would you rather be right or happy?
By FDot, August 26, 2008 @ 11:03 am

Well, I tried. I had to call my insurance company today and gave one of the letters of my first name as “M as in Mucho Macho.” The person just laughed at me, therby shredding the last vestiges of my self-esteem. I am now an empty shell of a human.

Something you may have heard of but not necessarily know:

The Jersey Devil

The legend of the Jersey Devil began in the Pine Barrens area of New Jersey, when Mrs. Shrouds made a pact with the devil and gave birth to her thirteenth child in 1735.

The child was both deformed and disfigured, and Mrs. Shrouds kept it out of sight, until one day, the child’s arms changed into wings, and it flew out of the chimney. Soon after, the sightings of a strange beast began.

In the early 19th century, Commodore Stephen Decatur was testing cannon balls, when he saw a strange creature flying across the sky. He even claimed he had hit the creature but it kept flying across the field. Joseph Bonaparte saw the Jersey Devil in Bordentown, NJ, between 1816 and 1839 while he was hunting. In 1840-41 many sheep and chickens were killed by a creature with a piercing scream and strange tracks. In 1859-94, the Jersey Devil was seen numerous times in Haddonfield, Bridgeton, Smithville, Long Branch, Brigantine, and Leeds Point. In the Pine Barrens area, most of the locals would not venture out after dark. The devil was sighted by George Saarosy, a prominent business man, at the NJ/NY border. This was the last reported sighting before the turn of the century.

The creature reappeared in 1909 and left unusual hoof prints in the snow all over the New Jersey and Philadelphia area. Trackers were called in to hunt the creature but the dogs refused to follow the trails.

One couple, Mr. and Mrs. Evans saw the beast and described it as follows “It was about three feet and half high, with a head like a collie dog and a face like a horse. It had a long neck, wings about two feet long, and its back legs were like those of a crane, and it had horse’s hooves on them”.

Since 1909 sightings of the strange creature have dropped off and in 1957, a strange burnt out corpse was found in the Pine Barrens area; it was a partial skeleton with feathers and hind legs of an unknown animal.

Was the creature some kind of demon, or some kind of rare bird?

Or did the hundreds of people who saw the Jersey Devil just imagine it?
By DavidK, August 26, 2008 @ 11:56 am

I don’t have any worthy knowledge to add. But I would like to say Charlie November Echo Echo!
By Craig, August 26, 2008 @ 12:05 pm

Charlie November Echo Echo = CNEE = Craig Needs Easter Eggs?
By DavidK, August 26, 2008 @ 12:11 pm

LOL, I’ll never tell!
By Craig, August 26, 2008 @ 12:16 pm

Oh my. I’m not sure I like this game when it’s me who is doing the guessing. You’re going to have to tell us eventually. And you’re going to have to give hints.
By Îž_Heather, August 26, 2008 @ 12:52 pm

Craig Needs Esoteric Explorations?
Can Nearly Everyone Exit?
The ComisiÃ³n Nacional de EnergÃa ElÃ©ctrica in Guatemala?
Committee on Natural Environment Education?

That last questions came from a couple students in the next room, and I was able to spell out C as in Chocolate, N as in Not chocolate, E, E.

Speaking of chocolate, the world’s biggest cookie was 100 feet in diameter and contained 12,200 pounds of flour, 6,525 pounds of butter, 8, 370 pounds of sugar, 184 pounds of salt, 79 pounds of baking soda, 30,000 eggs, 10 gallons of vanilla, and over 13,000,000 chocolate chips.
By Craig, August 26, 2008 @ 1:13 pm

ScottieC: Unrelated: I was just playing around with my Netflix list. Don’t hate me if I don’t watch Angels in America just yet!

chamblee54: The only golf I like has windmills and clowns mouths.

Ray Ray: It needs a bit more flair. How about “C as in See you tonight sweet cheeks!”?

FDot: But wasn’t the humiliation worth the laugh though?

Îž_Heather: “C as in Chocolate, N as in Not chocolate, E, E.” Well played!
By joe brooks, August 26, 2008 @ 1:16 pm

Did anyone ever play Mechwarrior1 in the early 90′s and it would show you one of the Mech’s and you’d have to enter the codes for them?

if you don’t remember your mechwarrior codes they can be found here:
http://members.fortunecity.com/lethe97/mwsolve.htm#code

It just reminded me of that game. Sigh….to be young and nerdy again.
By TwoPi, August 26, 2008 @ 1:23 pm

“The only golf I like has windmills and clowns mouths”

But Craig… can’t you totally see Sam Snead and Nancy Lopez wearing argyle out on the links?
By TwoPi, August 26, 2008 @ 1:26 pm

I keep coming back to “A as in arithmetic, P as in pterodactyl, W as in why (or maybe Wagner)”… didn’t someone do a children’s ABC book along these lines once upon a time…?
By Craig, August 26, 2008 @ 1:26 pm

Just because it’s miniature golf doesn’t mean I can’t dress up like THIS guy.
By Michelle M., August 26, 2008 @ 1:47 pm

I learned about the Radiotelephony alphabet from my husband (who was a radio operator in the Army once upon a time). I like the silent letter one – k as in knife. Maybe I’ll use that in spelling out my last name: M as in mashed potatoes, C as in chocolate, K as in knife, E, E.

Craig, you would look mucho macho (props to Fdot ) in that golfing ensemble.

Houseflies buzz in the key of F.
Vampire bats are most likely to go for your big toe (and they lap, not suck).
The proper response to “How do you do?” is “How do you do?”
By Hayden, August 26, 2008 @ 1:50 pm

TwoPi: Sam Snead! I love it, Craig’s Dad and I must be the only ones laughing right now…for all you young ones, there is always google…
By Tam, August 26, 2008 @ 2:01 pm

There is a Canadian book called Z is for Zamboni. It starts with A is for Arena and all the words are hockey words. I think G is for Gretzky, I is for icing, O is for offside, P is for puck, etc. There is a glossery in the back for those who don’t know what offside or icing is.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1585360651/ref=sib_dp_pop_fc?ie=UTF8&p=S001#reader-link

There is also M is for Maple which has lots of Canadian stuff like G is for grain and Governor General, O is for Ojibway, P is for Oscar Peterson and F is for Terry Fox. We Canadians appear to love alphabet books.

http://www.amazon.ca/Maple-Canadian-Alphabet-Mike-Ulmer/dp/1585360511
By Nicky, August 26, 2008 @ 2:02 pm

LOL. K as in knife is amazing. I laughed loudly.
By Tam, August 26, 2008 @ 2:24 pm

Okay, I almost had a chance to use this. I was this )( close to saying “F as in Fuck and Y is as in You!” to someone way up the food chain. Maybe my chance will come yet as the next down the ladder decides to rip me a new one.

Oh yeah and S as in squirrel which is apparently running around my basement. A as in alcohol, please, anyone have any?
By john, August 26, 2008 @ 3:01 pm

Craig: I think you should see if Casey has any pants like those golf pants. If she does you could borrow them, they won’t need to be hemmed.

I got to use my phrase today. After a very difficult and stressful meeting one of the directors came to my office and said she had two things for me. I asked if they were gin and tonic.

She said no.
By Burner, August 26, 2008 @ 3:22 pm

Craig has a boyfriend now? Details!

Teach you something: There’s more than corn, in Indiana.
By Craig, August 26, 2008 @ 3:26 pm

Michelle M: I don’t understad this: The proper response to â€œHow do you do?â€ is â€œHow do you do?â€

Tam: Oh man, that would have been fantastic! But certainly not worth getting fired over.

john: Well done!

Burner: Cracker please. I was just using that as an example. If I had a boyfriend I would be singing it from the mountaintops. (After I found some mountaintops. It’s very flat where I live.)
By Michelle M., August 26, 2008 @ 3:41 pm

According to Emily Post and British etiquette:
â€˜How do you do?â€™ is a greeting not a question and the correct response is to repeat â€˜How do you do?’ You say this when shaking hands with someone.
First person “How do you do?”
Second person ” How do you do?”

‘How are you?’ is a question and the most common and polite response is “I am fine thank you and you?”
First person “How are you?”
Second person “I am fine thank you and you?”
By Craig, August 26, 2008 @ 3:45 pm

Michelle M: Interesting! Thanks!
By john, August 26, 2008 @ 3:49 pm

Craig:

First, thank you, thank you very much. I’ll be here all week, remember to tip your waitresses.

Second: “Cracker please” was AWESOME!

Third: As if! Who’s mother could hate you?
By Michelle M., August 26, 2008 @ 3:52 pm

TwoPi and Tam: Have you seen Uncle Shelby’s ABZ book, a Primer for Adults Only – by Shel Silverstein? Hilarious.

Q is for Quarantine
Isn’t this a big word? Do you know what quarantine means?
It means: Come in kids – free ice cream!

And X is for Xylophone… because X is always for Xylophone!
By chamblee54, August 26, 2008 @ 4:00 pm

What if a spanish speaking person was using this code. J is for Huliet could be confusing. Especially if she stayed at the Otel.
As for windmills and clown faces, that sounds like the Democratic convention.
By Alex of the Knife, August 26, 2008 @ 4:40 pm

Its fun to use foreign languages in everyday use. T as in Telenovela. S as in S’il vous plait, A as in Auf wiedersehn. It also works in other languages too! My mom speaks mostly spanish and I always do that. Si mami, F de Forklift. No mami, es P de Printer.
Another good ones are R as in R.S.V.P. and I as in I.O.U.
By TwoPi, August 26, 2008 @ 5:33 pm

Michelle M: Ah yes, Shel Silverstein. Sadly he wasn’t part of my childhood, so he isn’t the first person I think of when I’m trying to think of…such a person. From what I’ve read of his stuff, he’s totally awesome.
By john, August 26, 2008 @ 7:43 pm

A neat X (but not rated):

http://duffzilla.deviantart.com/art/AZ-Xenops-86680213
By Tam (Meee), August 26, 2008 @ 7:54 pm

I like xenophobia. Well, I detest xenophobia as a concept, but as a word.
By Polt, August 26, 2008 @ 8:15 pm

Craiggers said ‘Cracker please’??? Oh. My. God. That is TOO funny!

Would, “It takes one to know one” be an appropriate response?

cracker please…..BWAHAHAHA, God that cracks me up…

HUGS…
By TwoPi, August 26, 2008 @ 9:09 pm

I’ve been pondering a new scheme… still a work in progress, but here’s what I’ve got so far:

A as in are
B as in bee
C as in ctenophore
D as in double-you
E as in ewe
F
G as in gnu
H as in herb
I
J as in jicama
K as in knight
L
M as in mnemonic
N as in night
O as in oecumenical
P as in pneumonia
Q as in Qatar
R
S
T
U
V
W as in why
X as in xenophile
Y
Z
By Craig, August 26, 2008 @ 9:31 pm

TwoPi: You are officially my hero. Love the Knight and Night!
By FDot, August 26, 2008 @ 9:53 pm

hmmm…. how about ‘S as in sea’ and ‘Y as in you’
By Kimi, August 26, 2008 @ 9:58 pm

I did know about the official Radiotelephony alphabet because my anal retentive husband learned it as a young child from his even more anal retentive father, who was in the Army. They both use it extraneously just to show off they know it, and when I’m on the phone with someone and use an incorrect example, he corrects me in the background. Yeah, A as in asshole (but I love him anyway somehow).

Did you know the fruit orange came before the color orange? I found that on Wikipedia as in W. I also found out what happened to the original Sprint guy from the Alltel commercials on Wikipedia. I’m not telling you, you’ll have to find out for yourself!
By Kimi, August 26, 2008 @ 10:00 pm

PS – I don’t have a funny example of my own yet, but I remember reading on someone else’s blog a few months ago (sorry, can’t remember who, hopefully I’m not violating any copyright laws here!) that he heard his wife saying to someone on the phone “I as in eyeball”.
By Craig, August 26, 2008 @ 10:18 pm

TwoPi: T as in Tsunami
By john, August 26, 2008 @ 10:41 pm

Craig for the win!
By Kimi, August 26, 2008 @ 10:55 pm

Y as in you
By Gokitty, August 26, 2008 @ 11:17 pm

This is very strange because just today I became intensely interested in learning the military alphabet (been watching Generation Kill) and was playing this game with my friends at work. Lo and behold, you just happen to post about it today.

I will add that the military make their own silly, well silly to me, phrases using their alphabet. Like “whiskey tango” is “white trash”, “oscar mike” is “on the move”, and “november tango” is “coffee” (you’ll have to read their logic behind that one on your own).

oscar mike golf!
By E as in Erica, August 27, 2008 @ 4:58 pm

This is the second post i’m seeing on the topic of fun facts and i must say your comments are hilarious .. it’s nice to see a friendly chatter not a comment space where people are just raggin on each other… it’s ok to be diffrent.. being a dork ROCKS!
By Craig, August 27, 2008 @ 5:01 pm

Thanks Erica! I’m really proud of the community we’ve managed to built here at Puntabulous and I contribute it to all my great readers! Hope you stick around!
By LiteralDan, August 28, 2008 @ 1:41 pm

This is my first visit here (thanks, StumbleUpon!) but I think I can safely say that you may in fact be extremely awesome.

I’m still laughing over “K as in Knife”, and probably will be whenever I think of it for quite some time.
By Jeff, September 28, 2008 @ 3:08 pm

Nice! I hardly use the radio alphabet, except V for Victor, which has somehow crept into common usage. Tangent: one time when I was making an appointment over the phone to see a doctor, the receptionist said, “You’ll be seeing Doctor Gayer. Like Bayer, but with a G.”

And of course I wanted to say, “Or like, more gay.”