Aug
27
Let’s call it: Dinner with a Drunk. And let me preface it by saying that we honestly didn’t have that much to drink before dinner. It’s just that we decided to take a nap before dinner, which was a bad idea. As anyone who has napped for only an hour after drinking can attest, you wake up ten times more drunk than when you fell asleep. Amanda fell into a deeper sleep than me (because I was still uncomfortable sleeping on a rocking boat at the time) so she was affected worse than me. So keep that in mind when reading the following story.
August 27th, 2008 at 7:05 am
lol, a good laugh on a day I need one, thanks
August 27th, 2008 at 7:23 am
Your artistic abilities make me laugh every time (in a good way!)…love this story…
August 27th, 2008 at 7:45 am
LOL Funny.
August 27th, 2008 at 7:52 am
Awesomely funny.
I’ve already had a weird morning and this was icing on the cake. That last frame is priceless.
August 27th, 2008 at 8:18 am
Craig, this happens to me all the time, I love a little afternoon drinking when possible and I sneak naps in whenever I can as well and I always wake up feeling woozier then when I went to sleep. Luckily the best cure for that is to mix another cocktail! This happens on the weekends though so it is all ok!
August 27th, 2008 at 8:23 am
Well she gets what she deserves, eating asparagus. God, I’ve been so drunk before that I done some things I can’t imagine doing sober, but eating asparagus…nope, never been that drunk.
HUGS…
August 27th, 2008 at 8:44 am
TMI
TMITMITMITMITMITMITMI
August 27th, 2008 at 8:46 am
Polt: How can you *not* like asparagus? It’s the most delicious vegetable ever. If it’s cooked right, that is. I’m extremely picky when it comes to aspergrass (as it’s nicknamed up Michigan way). But I’m spoiled because I grew up right next to an asparagus field and got to pick it fresh and at the perfect height and growth. Steamed or grilled fresh asparagus right off the field is fantastic. It just can’t compare to the rubbery, overgrown crap you get at the grocery.
Though the unfresh stuff would definitely be more tolerable if I were a drunken napper…
August 27th, 2008 at 9:00 am
I’m with Dave on this one Polt. Yummy asparagus. But I only like it when its really skinny, once its too big its not so tasty.
August 27th, 2008 at 9:05 am
Tam: Too true. But too skinny is bad too, since it doesn’t have that nice rich flavor. It’s gotta have that nice balance. And you have to make sure the tips are “frayed” or overgrown — they have to be smooth.
Umm…we’re still talking about asparagus, right…?
August 27th, 2008 at 9:14 am
Amanda is lucky she didn’t have Creamed (tee-hee) Asparagus on toast. For those of you North of DC, anything cooked in milk gravy is always best. If you don’t believe me check this out.
http://www.theslot.com/kraftdinner.html
August 27th, 2008 at 9:47 am
Oh god, that induced a gag reflex David.
August 27th, 2008 at 9:48 am
Imagine that! Having a couple of drinks while on a cruise ship and taking a nap! Positively decadent.
August 27th, 2008 at 10:10 am
Tam: I gotta admit, tuna cream sauce is stretching it a bit. But if you like Asparagus, Creamed Asparagus on toast is “the bomb”. (I’m bringin’ 1995 back)
August 27th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Hey, Dad’s right — I can do that at home.
And save a bunch on travel. After all, if I sit on my front porch with a glass of cheap merlot, close my eyes, blot out the sound of traffic on High Street, ignore the chattering squirrels, and pinch my nose against the scent of the coffee shop next door, I can almost get the feeling of being on a cruise…
::whew:: I think I need a nap…
August 27th, 2008 at 10:52 am
I’m not big on the veggies…corn, potatos and sometimes peas are about it for me.
Dave S.: “But too skinny is bad too, since it doesn’t have that nice rich flavor.”…OH, if I had a nickel for everytime I’ve said that…..
HUGS…
August 27th, 2008 at 11:47 am
haaaahahaha! and also: ewwwwwww.
August 27th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Not being a drinker (the most I ever had was half a beer about 20 years ago + a half-glass of Dom Perrignon recently that I called too bitter to finish), I have never experienced this ‘drunk’ feeling. I’m sure somebody here can fill me in on the details. Does one know if they are drunk? What does one think or feel? Is a hangover really as bad as it’s protrayed to be?
August 27th, 2008 at 12:30 pm
Its hard to describe FDot and in the name of science you may just have to give it a try. Since you don’t drink regularly, it likely wouldn’t be an expensive undertaking for you.
August 27th, 2008 at 1:29 pm
I’ve only been enebriated (sp?) once and that was back in May of this year. It wasn’t entirely unpleasant, but when you’re in a crowded bar and start showing your underwear to whoever asks, you know that it’s about time to slow down…
Being drunk kinda feels like you’re a bit off-balance and your brain isn’t working quite right. And even though you think you’re saying the coolest, most smartest thing ever, you’re really just sounding like a moron.
August 27th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
Hey FDot,
when youre drunk you think youre awesome but youre not, you think youre walking straight but youre stumbling, you think your advances on every girl there are clever and manly when they are really just obnoxious and pathetic
its fun you should try it!
Also, i remember from the first few times i got drunk i enjoyed the swaying world feeling… but i dont really feel that anymore… except when im trying to sleep and that just sucks
never had a hangover though ^^
August 27th, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Back in May, I got pretty drunk at a friend’s party, and I remember getting up to get a refill on the wine-from-a-box, seeing the floor roll a bit like a wave of the ocean and thinking, “Man, I am DRUNK. I should stop.” And then thinking “Ah, what the hell, I’m already drunk, what’s one more gonna hurt?”
Dave S. Damn, dude, I have GOT to get you drunk at a bar…If you show your undies off to all who asks, I imagine a viewing of the abs of steel would be nothing, eh?
HUGS….
August 27th, 2008 at 2:11 pm
You MSPaint skills are getting better. It really does look like a young couple on their honeymoon. Awww.
I feel like I’ve lived that story, though.
August 27th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
jerekeys: “Your MSPaint skills are getting better. It really does look like a young couple on their honeymoon.” Quite possibly the funniest thing anyone’s said so far today. Hi-larious.
August 27th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Polt: Yeah, I found getting drunk can be dangerous…
August 27th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
Dave S, if Craig is opening his soul to us we expect you to tell the truth as well, seriously, you have been drunk only one time?
August 27th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Marcus: Yup. Just once. Friends kept buying me gin & tonics and I felt bad refusing them…
It was a “Get Dave Laid” weekend in Boston. The ‘laid’ part of course didn’t happen, so they decided to try to get me drunk instead.
August 27th, 2008 at 2:51 pm
I don’t have asparagus pee (it’s an enzyme that not everyone has), but I do have coffee pee. My sister has a theory: If you have asparagus pee, you do not have coffee pee. If you have coffee pee, you do not have asparagus pee. Thoughts?
August 27th, 2008 at 2:58 pm
I’d be in trouble with coffee pee. I have a cup or two every day! As opposed to asparagus which I only have about once a month and have to suffer the consequences of asparagus pee. Ew.
August 27th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Lordy, I swear I spent nearly every weekend from 18-20 drunk. Now I feel bad, all the responsible people here put me to shame. But no underwear showing on my part so I guess Dave must have been saving up all the outrageous behaviour for that big first time. I swear I’m a grown-up now … most of the time.
August 27th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Tam: I won’t tell everyone that you don’t wear underwear…
Dave S: what kind of rock and roll critic doesn’t get drunk? This is confusing me…
Craig: you need to up your coffee intake…
August 27th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Marcus: Ooooooh, I walked into that one didn’t I. LOL
August 27th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Allegedly, pee is not the only thing in that neck of the woods that comes out funky after a night on the asparagus. I would imagine you’d need some pretty advanced taste buds to pick it up amongst all that salt though.
August 27th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
I think you accidentally went to dinner with my grandmother.
August 27th, 2008 at 3:33 pm
Marcus: The thing about being a rock critic is that you always have to be ‘on’. Unfortunately, if I get drunk, I might miss something either worth reporting or bringing up later in an interview. I rarely have more than a single beer at a show. The funny thing is, I get offered far more mary jane than I do liquor. And I turn that down too.
(Never been high either.)
August 27th, 2008 at 4:01 pm
Damn Dave S, obviously your addiction is working out at the gym but you really need get out there and experience the world, otherwise how can you help your kids when they go through the experimentation stage? My suggestion is to start when your divorce is final…
Weekend 1: get drunk
Weekend 2: get high (and listen to some music, you will be blown away)
Weekend 3: hook up with that 22 year old
I can be your life counselor, don’t worry Hayden is mine….
August 27th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Dave S., may I be the first to second Marcus’ suggestion in it’s totality? That sounds like a ROCKIN good time for you!
HUGS…
August 27th, 2008 at 8:04 pm
I can definitely tell you this — when my divorce is final, I will be *so* celebrating.
(just out of sight of the kids — “Woohoo! I’m rid of your mom!” probably isn’t exactly the right message to send…)
August 27th, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Sounds like a plan Dave. We’ll join you virtually.
August 27th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
This had me all but rolling on the floor with laughter. Perhaps because I’ve been in the same situation, on either side, several times…and am likely to be again. And again. And again.
Started reading you a few weeks ago and you’re an absolute delight. Thanks for sharing your amazing wit, humor, talent, and total hotness with us.
August 28th, 2008 at 7:51 am
Tam: Hey! We could all follow each other on Twitter during the drunken celebration!
August 29th, 2008 at 2:45 am
HYSTERICAL! I love your comic-book stories. You need to compile these into a book someday.
Hee hee!
September 3rd, 2008 at 4:18 pm
Hilarious! Love’ m!