Anyone who knows me knows I hate talking about politics, which is why you’ll never see me talking about them (it?) on here. This post is a list of things I find irritating about politics and things I find wrong with both parties. Examples I use should in no way be interpreted as my personal viewpoint or endorsement. Try and keep your comments general in regards to what you don’t like about politics and not about a specific party. It’s just not how I roll. So here goes.
Here are some things that bug me about politics:
The Extremes: Are there no republicans or democrats anymore? Why is everyone conservative or liberal? I hate the idea that you’re not a proper republican or democrat unless you’re far conservative or liberal.
The Insults: Whenever politicians want to prove that they’re just like us they either go to a seedy bar and drink a shot of whiskey, or go buck hunting. Is that all us average Americans are into? Drinking and hunting? Don’t you find that a tad insulting? How about taking a break from the campaign to see The Dark Knight? I’d be impressed!
The Debating: Is anyone ever gonna be like: “Oh! That’s why you’re for abortion? I never thought of that before! I’m totally Pro-Choice now!” No. Not gonna happen. So how about everyone just shuts their traps?
The Cattiness: A few years ago I heard someone on the train say: “Yeah, I’m gonna go see Passion of the Christ because I’m curious, but I’m gonna buy a ticket for another movie because I don’t want to show it any support.” Um, what? Don’t be a dick. Oh, and did you know that “Obama Nation” is a play on the word “Abomination”? I just figured that out. I’m a little slow. Isn’t that the most ridiculous play on words ever?
The Hyperbole: “He scares the crap out of me!” Really? You know what scares me? People who punch kittens in the face. I’m pretty sure both candidates are really nice people. How about: “I really hope he doesn’t win.”
The Hypocrisy: “The children of the candidates are off limits!” Unless they’re pocket-sized and adorable and say cute things, or if they’re going off to fight in Iraq, or if they make good photo-ops.
The Definitions: I understand that by definition reporters are supposed to be impartial while commentators are allowed to be partial. But to me, anyone in the newspaper, or on the TV or radio giving me news is a reporter and shouldn’t be partial. You know what they say: “A rose by any other name would still have let go of Jack’s hand.” Or something.
The Life or Death Stakes: Oh my god! This is the most important election ever in the history of elections! Whoever wins, the world will implode upon itself just as the other party had tried to warn you about! Why didn’t you listen?! You bastard! Also, your life is so frakked up, that you need a new president to fix everything for you, which again goes back to the insulting aspect.
Okay fine, you want to know who I’m endorsing? I’m campaigning for a Michelle Obama/Sarah Palin co-president ticket, like some sort of Amazonian society that you’d see on episode of Star Trek. I bow down to our sassy overlords! And if they ever disagree on a topic, they can settle it with a bikini mud wrestling match. You say sexist, I say patriotic!
You know what I don’t like about politics? I’m reminded of how many dumb and narrow-minded people there are in (insert country here) and it makes me sad, cause I remember that their vote counts just the same as mine. Democracy is indeed the worse form of government, excluding all others.
Actually Craig, considering the lively responses that you generated with this post, I think talking about politics was a great idea. I’m quite encouraged to see so many commentors feeling impassioned about this election. Just because a post stirs up a little shitstorm doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. You posted a point of view, people responded and whether some of us agree or not, we will continue to read you and enjoy your blog. Take heart, gentle giant.
Whenever I see some horrible strategy for an ad on TV, or for that matter, any political announcement, I think that maybe it’s not that the strategy is flawed, it is that *I* am not the target audience. Consider that everything you said above Craig, might be true for YOU. But it is PROBABLY true for someone else, or they wouldn’t try it. I mean, it must be working for someone out there, right? And that person will be swayed by the powerful argument that one guy has many houses and the other sounds arabic. Isn’t that terribly depressing? That person is going to think, hey, that does it, i’m voting for X, and their vote counts the same as yours. Alright, i’m done spreading the cheer
Oh, and
Tony Snow: Lewis Kazager
Er, meant probably false for someone else. Man, i’m officially a spammer now. Sry.
People in the Sun: “No. It’s your job to come up with a calculator, Wolf.” Good point.
ChickyMama: I would think Dick Cheney was more of a Dr. Benson Honeydew. They both have very round heads and blow things up.
Grogipher: And we love you for it
Nicky: I’ll never let go.
Oh my. It’s like a David sandwich.
David from Brazil: You’re right. The strategy we can find offensive must be working on someone else, otherwise, why would they do it? That’s a scary thought.
David: I just don’t like conflict. I’m a(n awkward) lover not a fighter. But thanks for your support. Perhaps now I’ll loosen the rope that Scott’s comment caused me to wrap around my neck.
I do blame the President for all the things that happened! If Gore had been elected we wouldn’t have lost over 4000 people in Iraq and 100s of thousand Iraqis would be alive; we wouldn’t be selling our country and our children’s futures to China to pay for it; we would be working to end the global warming crises, not adding to it; the people in New Orleans wouldn’t have been victomized by a political appointee who didn’t know what he was doing; our Constitutional right to privacy wouldn’t be questioned; and the list goes on and on.
Craig: Put down the rope. Like there is a spot high enough to use it from?
Hayden: “but this is puntabulous and I believe Criag posted this as a light-hearted attempt at a Monday conversation, not an attempt at a make a statement-I-am-pissed-off-at goverment-unabomber rant”
TESTIFY!
David said it equally well: You posted a point of view, people responded and whether some of us agree or not, we will continue to read you and enjoy your blog.
Dave S.: Who will play Condi? (Oh and Sam the Eagle was AWESOME!).
Craig, you absolutely shouldn’t feel bad. We all know how thoughtful you are about ALL things. People just have their feelers all out now due to the upcoming election. As I said, that’s one of the things I hate about politics, is how the whole thing makes me crazy.
I also know how you feel about not wanting conflict – that’s why our family never talk about politics or who is the better Muppet at Thanksgiving dinner.
But debate on Puntabulous is a good thing!
I agree with David that it’s cool that you generated so many passioned responses. We all know, love you and always have the greatest respect for you saying what’s on your mind. Remember – courage isn’t what you say or how you say it, it’s the fact that you say it all!
That should have been ,it’s the fact that you say it AT all!
And I agree with all the muppet comparisons especially Bush and Cheney being like Statler and Waldorf.
Oh and I loved your latest Super Viagra & Vagina Girl escapade! I just hadn’t had a chance to read it until now because of starting school again. “Marla is looking especially sassy today”! LOL!!!
I think this is a great topic. I am most frustrated by what seems to be a lemming mentality on the part of a significant portion of the “party faithful”. I am a political independent. I think the current dominant two party system stifles innovation. I would like to see the US political process continue to evolve. I think we should consider getting rid of the primaries and have something like an open general election in which all the candidates would be ranked by each voter. I think that would shake up the party system and encourage more candidates to stand on their own principles and come up with innovative ideas.
If we were voting for muppets then I think Kermit would be a cool moderate president, and Miss Piggy could be an assertive vice president. I think they would balance each other well.
It’s a good thing we won’t have to worry about politics once our Culcari Overlords (may my rotting carcass scrape easily from their enormous shoes) take over. Seems like you can’t even mention the word politics without starting a firestorm.
I thought first that W = Fozzie bear, their levels of competence are beautifully matched, but decided that Fozzie is to cuddly and lovable to truly be a match. Miss Piggy would make a great foreign secretary, she’d show them Iranians.
Chris: Agreed. A shakeup in the process would be a good thing.
John: LOL! Way to bring in the Culcari Overlords (May our blood be the moisturizer which makes Their scales glisten.) and make everything come full circle.
damn, all this talk about politics makes me hungry…think I’ll have some instant ramen….
if this is only sixty percent of a comment, then it is comment sixty six point six.
[...] self described dork named Craig, Puta Punta is good, lightweight fun. Earlier this week he posted “Why I hate Politics”. He listed the usual suspects. The hype, the cattiness, and the hypocrisy were all mentioned. One [...]
Craig, I hate to shit all over your fun, but your comment is just as cynical as the politics you loathe. You let the media and campaign spin make you throw your hands up saying you don’t care. That is really a poor attitude. Elections do make a difference and I hate to see your apathy. You’re right that things don’t change as swiftly as you may like. You’re also right that there is a parade of BS going up and down the streets of the US right now. That does not, however, excuse you from the democratic process. Don’t stoop to being a sheep in the herd and not considering issues that are important: wars, terrorism, economy, poverty, education, civil rights, global standing. You may not get what you want as fast as you want out of the political process. But don’t be a dick and encourage folks to shy away from the responsibility to be an accountable citizen with you. That is plainly irresponsible.
John: Did you not see the comment I made above where I said: “I listened to every single one of the speeches from both conventions, will listen to the debates and intend on making an informed decision in November that I plan on keeping to myself.”
I’m not shying away from my responsibility. I was merely proclaiming my frustrations about the campaign.
I stand by what I said. Your post was very discouraging. Bitching about politics does no one any good. Why not instead post about the need to stay above the fray and most importantly get out and vote? Bitching = inaction, getting out the vote = action.
John, you’re a dickhead who can’t read.
The extremes, the insulting, the debating, the cattiness, the hyperbole, the definitions…
sounds like PITCHFORK.com
every politician try to became CM(good position) ,no one can try to help peoples,some peoples are change the party.