Oct
29
The King of the unicorns fell in love.
But not with another unicorn.
With a simple, everyday horse.
And the other unicorns scoffed,
As he tried to make her their Queen.
His Lieutenant banished him from the tribe.
“This is an abomination!” he cried.
And together they fled into the woods.
On the night she gave birth to their son,
He comforted her with stories of Unicorn lore.
Of the winged Equine Lord.
Who it was told would be born from love and sacrifice.
“Our love will bring him into this world,
And the sacrifice of my Kingship will make him above all.”
But when their son was born, there were no wings.
And no horn.
He was but a simple horse like his mother.
Plain yet beautiful.
But the woods were no place for a foal,
Especially one with no magic to protect him.
So they brought him to the unicorn tribe,
And begged them to take care of him.
The once Lieutenant then King agreed and hissed:
“Be grateful he doesn’t have a horn!”
The mother did not understand.
However the father knew just what he meant.
For if a horse was born of less than pure unicorn blood,
Yet bore a horn, it would be considered a “false horn”.
And the foal would be put to death.
Together, weeping, they fled back into the woods.
As the years passed by,
The child knew nothing of his true family.
All he knew was cruelty and hate.
No one would tell him why he looked different.
But he knew that it was the reason for their scorn.
By the time the child grew to be a Colt,
A Usurper was seizing the world in its hateful grasp.
All good creatures of the world united together.
And on the grassy plains, they fought as one.
Unwanted and thought useless the Colt followed the unicorns into battle.
As this was his world too, and he intended to fight.
And when a minion of the Usurper loosed an arrow upon the unicorn King,
The Colt intervened and took the arrow upon himself.
He fell to the Earth but smiled into the face of Death.
Because even when surrounded by such cruelty,
He knew nothing but love.
And the moment he died, his true parents arrived.
Though seeing him for the first time since his birth,
They fell upon the ground weary from battle and heartbreak,
Knowing that he was their son.
Even the unicorn King finally felt remorse for his wickedness.
All around them the battle raged on.
But the small group remained still in their sadness.
While the air was calm, the hair of the Colt began to flutter.
Like tall grass in the wind.
And to their astonishment the Colt lifted himself up.
Nearly twice as large as before, and gleaming as though carved from pearl.
He shook his body like a dog out of a lake.
And he spread his wings to reveal his true form.
For his love and sacrifice made him what he was.
The winged Equine Lord.
He rose up into the sky, mighty and wise.
But still with that Coltish smile he cried:
“The battle is far from over, my friends!”
And together they charged.
October 29th, 2008 at 5:46 am
Oh I like that! I remember now you saying you wanted to write children’s fiction.
I enjoyed it! Keep it coming.
PS You doing NaNoWriMo?
October 29th, 2008 at 6:42 am
Nice. Straighforward but thoughtful. And I love the messiah allusion.
“The battle is far from over.” Indeed.
October 29th, 2008 at 6:44 am
I’m impressed how much you can fit in with a small piece. Nice sentiments. I’m curious, is there any link between your stories? Are they in the same universe, so to speak?
October 29th, 2008 at 7:01 am
Great story Craig. Thanks for sharing.
October 29th, 2008 at 7:02 am
john: That would be the Outstanding Universe of Craig’s Head. If it’s easier, you can just shorten it to it’s acronym…
October 29th, 2008 at 7:13 am
Thanks everyone!
Milo: No, I’m not doing NaNoWriMo. I can’t commit to something like that on my schedule. It would just set me up for failure.
John: My other ones aren’t connected, but this story is linked to the larger set of books I’m working on. But yes, I love to squeeze in a large story into a few paragraphs.
Dave s: OUCH. Thanks!
October 29th, 2008 at 8:15 am
Great story Craig, keep writing, you have talent…
My old girlfriend used to call me her unicorn…
October 29th, 2008 at 8:48 am
“Plain but beautiful”…I loved that line. Great story, Craiggers. Keep up the good work!
HUGS…
October 29th, 2008 at 8:57 am
The header photo makes me picture you sitting in a high-back comfortable chair by the fireplace, writing the story long-hand in a leather-covered, hardbound book…
Very cool.
October 29th, 2008 at 9:31 am
Aww, I really liked it. You really have a way with words!
October 29th, 2008 at 11:09 am
The header photo made me think: Wait did Sarah Palin get new glasses?
Beautifully told story, but I didn’t like the ending. Wars should be over at the end of fairy-tales so they can live happily ever after. And of course I missed the pay-back time for the ‘evil’ characters.
October 29th, 2008 at 11:11 am
Okay, I had to break away from my high-stress day for a minute or two (ugh — will this week never end?!), so I reread the story and caught something new:
I liked how the banished King thought it was his own sacrifice that would be born out in his son becoming the Equine Lord — which is actually a self-centered perspective. Instead, it was the self-sacrifice of the Colt that showed he was the Equine Lord. It begs the question: How often do *we* sacrifice — whether it be time, money, effort, emotion — in a self-centered way? Wondering what *I’m* going to get out of it? Wondering what’s the payoff for *me*? Unfortunately, for me, it’s far more than I’d like it to be…
Sorry, is that too deep and meaningful? If it is, just let me know and I’ll throw in a fart joke…
October 29th, 2008 at 2:19 pm
@Dave S: I agree! Doing things from selfish motives and telling ourselves that we’re doing them from pure ones is, I think, quite common. I always hate it when I catch myself doing that
@Craig: Hi! I’ve been lurking for a while, thought this might be a good time to join in the discussion
And, because I’m curious, why did you decide to describe the unicorns as a tribe rather than a herd?
October 29th, 2008 at 2:38 pm
First off, let me just say that the last few hours were agony for me! My subscription to the domain expired and I was worried Puntabulous would be gone forever. Imagine if someone bought it out from underneath me? The horror! But look! I’m back!
Alex: Thanks!
Bernd: Sorry about that. But I think its safe to assume the good guys win.
Dave S: Glad you are seeing multiple meanings in this.
Greg B: Thanks for coming out of hiding! Hope you comment more often now! I chose the word tribe to make the unicorns more human sounding. The word “herd” just didn’t fit right.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Thankfully you fixed it Craig. I nearly had a panic attack at work when that other site came up. I posted a bit of a rant in the Argyle Lounge. LOL Guess its official, I’m hooked.
Welcome Greg.
October 29th, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Dave S.: I’m convinced that this month, week and day will *never*, *ever* end. One giant cluster fuck of a month.
Oh and what are you Lucas with the fart jokes?
Tam: Oh, I was totally jonesing for a fix of the wonderful drug that is Puntabulous.
Craig: I was worried about the same thing! Glad you’re back!
October 29th, 2008 at 2:52 pm
Yeah, guys I got that stupid “godaddy” screen and was paniced! How soothing was the argyle background when I finally saw it.
Dave S.: I picked up on the sacrifice thing as well, which is kind of a surprise, since sublte nuances in things generally just pass me by. The levels of the story make it so much more interesting!
HUGS…
October 29th, 2008 at 3:00 pm
On a more philosophical note (since we seem to be heading that way today), are there EVER “pure” motives for doing a good thing? We all get payoff when we do something. I do something that I know will make you happy and I get pleasure from seeing you happy. Was that selfish of me? If figure in that case my happiness is just a pleasant side-effect of my good deed.
I think acknowledgement of our efforts is a pretty human need. So yeah, it does kind of hurt if we make an effort and it goes unnoticed, but I don’t think that means we ONLY did it because we wanted to be noticed. (or not most people anyway) I guess determining if you only did something in order to get the side-effect is the trick.
Wow, I never get this deep on a Wednesday.
October 29th, 2008 at 3:02 pm
Craig, I’m generally a lurker here. I bow and worship you from afar and never comment because I’m just not worthy.
But, I had to come out of my lying-prone-on-the-floor pose I usually take while reading your prose just so I could type the following:
I fucking love you and this post cemented that.
October 29th, 2008 at 3:03 pm
great story!
October 29th, 2008 at 3:05 pm
Wow Coal Miner’s Granddaughter! Thank you very much! Weren’t we going to do a debate forever ago?
flowergurl281: Thanks!
October 29th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
So their parents loved him so much they gave him away to a creature they hated, and which brought it up in hate? Horrible, craig, sry. :/
October 29th, 2008 at 3:07 pm
Craig! I encourage you to try NanoWrimo! It doesn’t matter how much time you have or don’t have and it doesn’t even matter what you produce. It is a great writing exercise and you can generate some pretty amazing things from it.
I’ve participated (and accomplished) it the past two years and I thought of giving it up this year because of lack of time. But I’m still giving it a shot.
I say give it another thought. =p
October 29th, 2008 at 3:10 pm
In story “woods was no place for a foal”. Sry. The place for a child is next to the people who love him (parent, grandparent, adopted, whatever). The way you disregard the love bond between caretaker and child just really got to me. I know you don’t mean it like that.
October 29th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Brian. Thanks! I’ll look into it more and see if I can give it a shot.
David from Brazil: I see where you’re coming from, but the way I see it, the parents would have a hard enough time caring for themselves, nonetheless taking care of a helpless foal. The woods are indeed a dangerous place, especially with the Usurper gaining power, and he would only be safe in a tribe of 50+ unicorns. Not all the unicorns would have been as mean to him as the Lieutenant/King. I think the parents thought they were doing what was best. Also, you didn’t like my Girl from Cedarwood Drive story either, so maybe my writing isn’t exactly your style.
October 29th, 2008 at 3:24 pm
Damn. I’m only getting Puntabulous on my phone — my work PC still is giving me the godaddy screen.
Tam: I totally get where you’re coming from. The primary thing you have to examine is motive. Why are you doing what you’re doing? I don’t believe that people are basically good (history bears *that* out), so motives are never pure, but ask yourself what is the *basis* of them? It’s not an easy question to answer — motives tend to be a knotted mess of self that takes some work (and honesty) to begin to unravel them.
Glad to see you back up and running, Craig! I was worried too.
October 29th, 2008 at 5:21 pm
I completely missed Puntabulous being down, and am extremely grateful that I didn’t have to go off in a corner and sulk.
Craig, I love this story. I missed the sacrifice part on the first read so I’m glad it was pointed out to me. Also, this issue of the parents leaving the foal makes more sense in the comments than in the story. It didn’t bother me in the story really because in fairy tales the parents pretty much always die or disappear, but I guess it does keep me from relating to the parents as much without that background info. Then again, in a short story only so much can be included: the story of the parents would be a Different Story.
October 29th, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Oh God! I read this after watching this. Give a man some warning! What next? Beaches?
(PS: loved it.)
October 29th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Sorry I was gone all day
: (
A computerless life sucks!
So more poetry… but how many pages do you have in your book?!!?
I’ll be updating soon and sharing my own poetry! But its quite different from this kind. haha.
October 29th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Great story! Thanks for sharing it.
I have one gentle critical point I want to offer. I think that the reason for the parents abandoning their child to the unicorn tribe seemed a little weak, especially given how badly he was treated by the tribe. I would have preferred if the parents had died and thus the tribe took the colt as an orphan. I just don’t like the notion of intentional parental abandonment.
I really like the ending. I felt moved.
October 29th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
How about…
But the woods were no place for a foal,
Especially one with no magic to protect him.
But the parents thought it best he stayed with them.
Then one day as the parents searched for food,
A troll ate the foal.
THE END.
I have to agree with Heather on this one. There are always parental issues in fairy tales, and I may have traded logic for storytelling as fairy tales tend to do.
October 29th, 2008 at 9:12 pm
Craig, just let me ask you a question. Do you think your parents would ever give you away, even if they faced hard times? It’s something visceral craig. It’s a very powerful thing, the love a caretaker has for his charge. It has to be! At any rate, you are not the first or last writer who does not take criticism well
I heartily recommend watching The Bluetooth Virgin. Loads of fun and talks about precisely this (writers and criticism).
October 29th, 2008 at 9:13 pm
The whole theme of parents give the child over to someone they “trust” to raise him/her and they are treated poorly but come out to be better for it, perservere over adversity if pretty common in books. Harry Potter anyone? Granted his parents are dead and didn’t “abandon” him, but he remains a good person despite being poorly treated by family who should care.
October 29th, 2008 at 9:18 pm
Ummm. Yep David, it happens. *waving hand in air* Luckily I had a tribe who loved me but it happens fairly often for a variety of reason that at the time seem logical and the best decision for the well-being of the child. As a parent myself its hard to envision but I’ve never been in a situation which would force the decision. *knock on wood*
October 29th, 2008 at 9:23 pm
Tam: I think you have a point (and not just because I thought this same thing earlier). While his parents didn’t give Harry up, the people in the best position to care for him did and left him in a terrible situation.
Craig: I give you credit, I couldn’t share my writing (partly because I’m not a writer, but work with me) with the world and open it up to criticism.
I noticed the parents gave up the foal, but it was far from the first thing I noticed and it certainly wasn’t the message that I felt most strongly.
October 29th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
I believe that sensitivity to the “parental abandonment” aspect is subjective. I could explain my perspective further, but I don’t think Craig is looking for that kind of feedback.
Craig: I know you had said that you don’t take criticism well. However should we avoid offering it here? I enjoy reading your writing, and I would not want to discourage you from sharing it in the future.
October 29th, 2008 at 9:52 pm
By all means, criticize away. But I feel that for people to refer to it as abandonment is a slap in the face to anyone who has ever had to give up a child. Hasn’t anyone ever seen Juno? Honest to blog!
October 29th, 2008 at 10:53 pm
I have not seen Juno.
My father was, “given up”, in many ways, as a child. I suspect that his situation was a contributing factor to his personality defects and psychological problems. It was very hard for me to be raised by a mentally unstable parent.
I did not intend for my word choice to be interpreted as a blanket criticism of all adoption. There are certainly situations were it is best for a parent to give up their child.
Based on my subjective perspective I just found that I became distracted by the parents turning their child over to an unfriendly tribe. I thought it odd that the parents felt so strongly that love trumps all that the King would abdicate his crown and then abandon their son, the fruit of their love, because it might be risky to keep him. I felt annoyed at the parents, and I think that distracted me from the moral of the story.
I am not trying to tell you how your story should be. I am just sharing with you how it effected me, subjectively. There isn’t a right or wrong here, just feelings. Feelings can be a complicated cavalcade of colors and shades that we each experience differently.
Once again, great story. The fact that it touched me in a few ways is a testament to your skill as a writer.
October 29th, 2008 at 10:57 pm
I learned a lot about fairy tales in my Witch in Lit class (I always talk about it!) and how the didn’t START as children stories. So many have been adapted and changed to suit children.
But in the olden days, children psychology wasn’t really researched and children were just treated as small sized adults. So all stories were the same for children and adults.
Eventually, kids must have been visually disturbed by Cinderella’s sisters cutting off pieces of their feet to fit into the slipper and the Little Mermaid not getting the prince and dying, so many tales were adapted.
October 30th, 2008 at 12:00 am
This has tones of C.S. Lewis type writing – very simple yet descriptive, and almost written in awe. It has grandeur.
Anyway, I like it. It was a good start of my day.
And… I would have commented earlier, but your silly domain had expired. I was sad.
October 30th, 2008 at 12:14 am
“A troll ate the foal.”
I love Craig.
I also panicked at the GoDaddy screen and feel much relief now.
October 30th, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Great work! Keep em coming.
October 31st, 2008 at 5:58 pm
I can see this as a very VERY nice children’s book. Seriously. with illustrations it would be great!
November 8th, 2008 at 9:02 am
[...] because she said I looked like such a little tough guy. If only she knew the argyle-lovin’, unicorn-story-writing man child she had on her [...]
May 31st, 2009 at 11:50 pm
[...] by day, and super heroes when needed! He also shares his original short stories. My favorite is the Winged Equine Lord. As you can see Puntabulous is a rather eclectic blog. Not only is the blog content is great, but [...]