I understand but completly disagree with the criticism that giving the foal away for it’s own protection hurt the story. Yes, it’s very sad but as other people have pointed out it’s a very common theme from Harry Potter, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty to Moses, King Arthur and Superman. Not to mention all the real life cases of mothers giving up their children for adoption because they can not provide for them. You can argue that it’s the wrong thing to do but it does happen and fairy tales often have a lesson and make the reader think about morals. That is part of what makes your story so great.

My favorite images were: “Nearly twice as large as before, and gleaming as though carved from pearl…He shook his body like a dog out of a lake.: That so easy to picture and quite beautiful.

I also like the fact that “Even the unicorn King finally felt remorse for his wickedness.” It reminds me of that moment that Johnny, Daniels rival handed him the trophy in the Karate Kid.

As always superb work!

You should get some (more) argyle. It’s hot