I’m not sure I had to specify that this was a Guest Post, because I’m sure you already know there is no way I’d write a post titled “Why I love football”, but I figured I’d specify it anyway. And that is the beauty of today’s post. Sports. We never talk about sports on here, and I’d say it’s about time we did. So I’m happy to welcome back my cousin Michelle who wants to share the reasons for her new found love of football with you:
1 – Not all the players look like Arnold Schwarzenegger:
I always envisioned football players having massive out of proportion hormone induced bodies. But that’s not the case at all, thankfully! They are all very tall – Eli Manning is 6’4 and brother Peyton is 6’5 for example. The shortest players like Ahmed Bradshaw are around 5’10. They also don’t have those abnormally big muscles. The linebackers don’t have to worry about running very far since they are responsible for tackling. So they are large (like 350 pounds!) but it’s more from fat than muscle. The others who do have to run are strong but as Goldilocks would say – just right. Like Eli… Do I have to say any more?
*Side note: I was really excited to find out there is an Eli Manning calendar. I was expecting the pics to be like that one. Instead they are like this…what an expression!
2 – The Calls:
There is a great interview with Peyton Manning on the Colts Superbowl DVD, in which he explains his strategy as Quarterback. Unlike many who simply use whatever play was called in the huddle. Peyton will often skip the huddle and decide what play to run after he’s seen how the defense has lined up. In order to tell his offense what play he has chosen, he uses all kinds of weird gestures and code words. The really funny thing is what the plays are called. Like Oklahoma, Bonanza and Ice Cream. It’s very amusing. Although it does kind of take away the drama of the moment.
3 – The Soap Opera Quality:
Ohhh, the drama! Learning about the different team rivalries and behind the scenes action is like following a soap opera. Such as the case when the coach of the San Diego Chargers left for Tampa Bay and gave all of the game tactics to them so they could beat the Chargers in the Superbowl. How awful is that? It’s not only entertaining in a gossipy sort of way. It makes the games more exciting when you know what’s happened before. Case in point: The Colts got to the Playoffs several years in a row, only to be beaten every time by the Patriots. In order to thwart Peyton’s stategy (see above), the defense would change their positions as he was making the calls so he wouldn’t know what they were doing. Also the Patriots fans made even more noise than usual to make it hard for him to communicate. Knowing all that, made watching the 2006 Playoff game when the Colts finally beat them even more intense and their victory all the sweeter.
4 – The Rules:
Understanding the rules of the game is a big part of the reason I started enjoying football. What still astounds me is the picky nature of many of them. If you catch a ball and you are out of bounds, it doesn’t count. Sounds simple, right? Not exactly…. They will replay it in super slow motion over and over, trying to distinguish not only if the feet were in bounds but every single millimeter of each foot was. If there is even a fraction on the line, it doesn’t count. It can be beyond frustrating. Of course this concentration on the minuscule can work the other way. For example, when the Giants played the Redskins, a penalty was called on Eli saying that he threw the ball when he was past the line of scrimmage (where the ball is placed.) The Giants challenged and the replay revealed that a teeny tiny part of his heel was still behind the line so the penalty was revoked!
5 – Wow! They’re actually human!
Another false belief that I had about football was believing that like other sports the game could be somehow rigged. After all they are making tons of money — win or lose, why would they care?
Watching the games dispelled any thoughts of this. The players are all tremendously invested emotionally in the outcome.
Take for instance, Tony Romo, the Quarterback of the Cowboys. Sure he’s known because he’s dating Jessica Simpson. But did you know that he actually cried when he fumbled the ball, causing the team to lose a playoff? I felt terrible for him but at the same time, it made me see him as human, not just a superstar.
6 – The Fun of the Game:
On the other side of the spectrum is the absolute joy that players show when they are winning. No where else can you see grown adult men jump up into each other’s arms in celebration. All the players do this and more – high fives, pat each others backs or butts etc. They will even practice what little dances they are going to do if and when they get a touchdown.
Brett Favre is probably the best example. He’s known not only because he will one day be in the Hall of Fame, he’s also known to be someone who shows to the Nth degree how much fun he is having. He still jumps up and down like a kid who got a pony for Christmas.
7 – Not being driven out of my skull (as much) by outrageous salaries:
I have to admit I used to be really miffed about sports players salaries. And I still believe that they are overpaid but it doesn’t bother me as much. Why? Yes, because in football your career isn’t that long. You are considered an old man if you’re 35. Yes, you are constantly putting your body on the line risking all kinds of broken bones and serious injuries. (Seeing a Cardinal player get knocked unconscious from helmet to helmet contact was very disturbing).
Mostly, though I started thinking about the criticism you are putting yourself in for. A movie star can get their ego hurt by a bad review but it’s so much worse for football players because fans take it so personally. If you are a winner, you’ll be treated like royalty but if you lose… Goodness help you! They couldn’t pay me enough money to have everyone in the city hate me. To have to go into every restaurant or store and have people boo or beat you up. No wonder the players need to have big egos!
8 – The Last Minute Saves:
The number one reason why I became addicted to football was because of the Superbowl last year when the Giants pulled a remarkable upset, beating the (to that point) undefeated Patriots. Nothing gets the blood pumping more than a game that comes down to the last plays in the final minutes of the game. This can be heartbreaking for the losers, such as the Chargers who lost their last four games in the final 24 seconds. Ouch!
In the case of the Superbowl however it was …different. The Patriots pulled ahead with just 2 minutes and thirty nine seconds left on the clock. Everyone especially the cocky Patriots assumed that it was all over. But Eli remained calm and determined and brought the Giants 82 yards in two minutes and scored the winning touchdown. I still get chills just thinking about it.
9 – The Miracle Plays:
Great plays don’t have to come at the end of the game. They can happen anytime. Plays that take your breath away. Like Colts receiver Marvin Harrison making a one handed catch. Or Giants Tight End, Kevin Boss weaving in out and high jumping over a tackler. In the last game against the Eagles, the Giants Kevin Dockery blocked a field goal and ran it back 71 yards for a touchdown in the last seven seconds of the half.
I have to go back to the Superbowl however for the best miracle play. In that last 2 minute 39 second drive. Eli Manning came this close to having the ball intercepted which would have ended the game. On the very next play, he was swamped by Patriots, everyone was sure he was going to be sacked (taken down). But somehow, someway he escaped and just heaved the ball down field 32 yards.
It happened so fast you didn’t even know if he knew where he was throwing.
David Tyree, who is not one of the regular receivers and who had dropped every ball in practice that week, leaped up, grabbing it, pinning it to his helmet to prevent the Patriot breathing down his neck from getting it. The audience screamed, the loudest happiest cheers I’ve ever heard because it was such a shock. A surprise. A miracle. Why I love football.
Dang Michelle, first you make me want to see movies I hadn’t wanted to see, and now you’re making football sound interesting. I almost want to see a game now! (“almost” being related to the fact that no matter how interesting you make it sound, sitting outside in the freezing cold just isn’t going to do it for me.)
Okay, Michelle, this was a kick-ass post. I enjoy a good game of football (though, admittedly, I much prefer ‘real’ football (as in futbol)), but I don’t don’t follow the NFL. Being in Columbus, Ohio, it’s all about Buckeye football and so it’s college ball that I tend to gravitate towards. I love the bumbling mistakes the players inevitably make and the unpolished plays that the potential NFL players bumble their way through. It’s fun. It’s at times heart-stopping. And it’s a reason to eat pizza and hang with friends.
However, put me in front of a good game of soccer and I’m a yelling, cheering, jumping-up-and-down mess of a fan.
And this was a great year for me: Columbus’s Major League Soccer team the Columbus Crew made it to the MLS Cup for the first time and beat sorry-ass New York 3-2. 
Woohoo!!! (Yes, I have a vanity plate on my car: CREW U) 
Great post, Michelle! Like Heather, it makes me want to give the NFL another chance.
I like football, don’t “love” football but its okay. I don’t follow NFL at all, do follow CFL somewhat. Okay, I kind of follow it through my daughter who is more into it than most girls her age should be likely. When I was in university I had season tickets to the CFL for a couple of years and my cousin is a statistician for one of the teams. They were cheap, it was fun. Also went to the Grey Cup once (our version of the Superbowl). Froze my ass off, I think it was -20 or something ridiculous, ski pants, sleeping bags, the works.
So while I like all sports and understand the rules for them all (except cricket, what’s up with that?) I would say I likely prefer hockey. More action, the sound of skates on ice kind of does a memory trip for me. So I’d rather go to a hockey game than football if given the choice. I went to a Raptors game once, it was more fun than I thought and even though we were up in the nosebleed section it wasn’t bad. Never been to professional baseball, AAA, but not MLB, not sure that would be more exciting. Like to play, watching not so much.
Why has no one told me about this football game with sexy players before? I might even watch if they wore short shorts like rugby players.
One sport that’s super-boring that I avoid: NBA basketball. Ick. And, really, basketball in general. Unless my daughter’s playing it, it’s booorrring.
Mark: I’m just now getting into watching rugby! And it’s awesome! Now I want to get into playing it, but have to find a local rec team or something…
I was there! I was there when Michelle developed this love of football. I gave up on anyone in my family ever sitting and watching a game with me – then something wonderful happened – Super Bowl 2007. Michelle, having bought me the DVD of the games felt obligated to watch them with me – and I noticed a light beaming from her flushed face, soon she was asking me questions about the “rules”, then I began hearing chants of “run, run, run” and “oh no!” and “stop ‘em”. It was music to my ears. Now, we set aside time to watch the games together – either live or recorded. It has been great and this post is terrific! Thanks.
Aunt know it all: That’s awesome. Heartstrings are being tugged…
Dave S.: I hope you’ll invite Polt to your first game so he can take lot’s o’ pics.
Mark: Pics of me all bloodied and bruised?
Great job Michelle, I am sure you have taught a few people a little bit about football today.
Some more reasons why to love football. Monday Night Footbll means beer and chicken wings. Many bars run specials on beer and wings during the games and it is the perfect excuse to go out on a Monday night. The Super Bowl is always a great time to have a party, even non-sports fans like to watch even if it is just for the commercials. Another great time to eat and drink beer.
Two Football memories for me: Going to Cleveland to see the Browns play when they returned to the league a few years ago. And sitting through the coldest game in NFL history in Buffalo when it was 35 below zero, the flask came in handy that day! By the way, Dave S has let me down today now that I know that he does not follow my beloved Cleveland Browns and he lives so close to the Dogpound.
I sat through 4 years of high school football as part of the marching band, but I still have no idea how the game works. Loved this post though! Makes me want to give it another shot!
Hayden: I saw the Browns’ stadium the last time I went to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame — does that redeem me at all?
I am reminded of the classic Far Side Cartoon with the man and the dog and the “what we say/what they hear” caption. Because all I read was “blah blah blah Eli blah blah blah Brett Favre.”
*smooches*
Boo Favre!
(I grew up in MN)
Dave S: OK, I can’t hold it against you forever, you have been redeemed. Just planting a seed in your head, now when you hear about the Browns you will involuntarily think of Hayden. Sorry for the curse…
While the post was certainly an enjoyable read, I still have no interest in following football in general. I can watch a game (if I must) and not go out of my mind with boredom but it’s not something I seek out. I find all the bombast surrounding the games, the graphics and trumpet fanfares and mush-mouthed commentators who shout like the game will have life or death consequences, just a bit much. I do understand the rules and know the ins and outs; my Dad and sister watched it avidly growing up so I couldn’t avoid it. But I don’t find it all that compelling. I’m a tennis fan, myself.
As for the picture of Eli Manning, honestly, Dave S. has better abs. I wouldn’t kick Manning out of bed but he just isn’t all “that.”
Michelle: I broke the Golden Rule, I forgot to compliment the hostess. You did a Fantastic job!
But I have to agree with your cousin “what’s his name”, I still don’t understand everything about the game. That’s why I watch soccer and rugby. You don’t have to understand them, just enjoy the view.
Just a side note; What really annoys me is when the straight guys at work are talking about football and they refer to their team as “we” and the other guys team as “you”. Hey Jackass, last time I checked you weren’t on the Cowboys roster!!!
Dave S.: I’ll take the pics of you in rugby shorts any way I can get them.
What is going on with the Manning love? Yuck. Yuck Yuck Yuck. Ugh. Also you should get in a fantasy league, it takes it to a whole other level. It’s so goddamn fun.
Mark: Maybe you’ll start playing soon.
http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y9/ipol28/Tammy/football.jpg
Tam: Can I play fullback?
Mark: Not wide receiver?
oh, it’s football today. zzzzzzzzz. Wake me when we’re off topic. How about’em zombies?
Most. Awesome. Post. Ever.
You just put into words why I love football. Whenever someone asks why a thirtyish mom of three lovessss football I am going send them the link to this post. It’s like you read my mind.
Go Colts!
See, I told you I don’t know the game.
Michelle: you had me at the shirtless Eli photo! Course the mention of Tony Romo and his dimples, and the slapping of the asses were just icing on the cake.
Great post. And I agree with you on all counts: that is why I too love football!
HUGS…
Dave S.: Mark wants me to take photos of you in the locker room after the game, while you’re getting your “bloodied and bruised” taken care of.
Or if Mark doesn’t, then that’s what I want to do.
HUGS…
Mark: I always refer to “we” and “you” cause even if I’m not on the Cowboys’ roster, there are still a few of them I wouldnt mind being under.
HUGS…
I feel like i’m in another dimension…
GoKitty: When I say, pics of Dave S. in rugby shorts….EWWWWW!
Then you’ll know you are in Bizarro World.
Bernd: zombie football, the best of both posts.
Great post Michelle. As a fellow Giants/Eli Manning fan I really enjoyed it. I’ve “followed” football with varying degrees of commitment since high school. The Peyton Manning commercials renewed my interest and when the Giants got Eli I was re-committed. I’ve been telling everyone who’ll listen Eli was going to be better than Peyton since he first joined the Giants. It was a hard sell a few years ago but people are beginning to come on board. Did you see the commercial with Eli when the little salesman chest bumps him? I loved it. Again, great post. Thanks for sharing.
Dad: you had great credibility going until you said that Eli was going to be better than Peyton. The only time that is going to be true is when Peyton retires and Eli is the only Manning playing the game…
Hayden: See me in a few years and we’ll compare how many Super Bowl MVP awards each of our guys have.
VUBOQ/GoKitty/Bernd: LOL. Don’t worry, I promise I’ll try and be EXTRA dorky tomorrow
Ooo — A Hayden/Dad smackdown!
Dad: It’s a deal but I have a feeling every couple years you will keep saying “in a few years” hoping that Eli will be able to catch up to his big brother.
Michelle: My initial reaction to the headline of the post was “Foot what now?”, but then I read “guest post” and was interested.
I will say that this is an excellent post, but have to admit, I missed the middle part as I was blind with rage at the mention of the Manning brothers. As a New England resident and Patriots fan, I harbor a significant distaste for the Manning brothers, especially Peyton.
Manning schmanning…Tony Romo’s got the dimples and smile of a Michelangelo carved marble statue. Unfortunately, sometimes, he’s got the throwing arm of one too.
Although, in the unofficial Puntabulous debate between Hayden and Dad over which Manning brother is better, I gotta say, right now, it’s still Peyton. Let’s see if Eli can get the Giant to another Super Bowl victory (God forbid) and then we’ll talk again.
HUGS…
Thank you Polt. And this isn’t even taking into consideration which is the better QUARTERBACK, not which quarterback plays for the better team….
Bossy has a cousin Michelle!
I heart Football too. I’m a huge Colts fan, and my hubby loves the Green Bay Packers
Bossy: Bwahahaha!! Lovely comment, and so on topic.
You slay me! 
HUGS…
Craig, thank you, but today I feel as if I’m in an alternate reality. Someone pinch me so the nightmare ends, please.
Deep breaths Bernd. Everything will be okay.
Geez, who knew the gays were such a dramatic people?
Bernd: Hugs honey. It will be okay. Shhhhhh. Just breath deep and relax.
Damn, that sounds way kinkier than I meant it. LOL
Um, I never made it past the pic of Eli. Yowza.
(Srsly, I read the whole thing and as a football fan, I think this was excellently done!)
I’m going back to look at that picture again though.
I’m glad to see someone made the wide reciever joke. People always thought I played football because those who “know me” always referred to me as a tight end.
:::jazz hands::::
bernd: Just think of the athletes working out and then showering afterwards…that oughta bring everything back into focus.
HUGS…