Puntabulous

Happy Chinese New Year!

Happy Chinese New Year everyone! Especially to my Chinese friends and readers who are celebrating today! 2009 is the year of the Ox. But what do the animals of the Chinese Zodiac represent? I’ll tell you! In honor of today’s event I went right to the source (one of those paper placemats you get at a Chinese restaurant that my mom folded up and put in her pocketbook saying “This will make a great post.” about five months ago) to teach you what these years mean to you. I also looked up celebrities who were born in each of the years, to see if they match. Let me know if your’s matches too!

OX: 1937, 1949, 1961, 1973, 1985, 1997, 2009
CELEBRITIES: Meryl Streep, Seth MacFarlane, Heidi Klum, Sigourney Weaver, George Takei, Barrack Obama
PLACEMAT SAYS: Bright, patient, and inspiring to others. You can be happy by yourself, yet make an outstanding parent. Marry a Snake or Cock. The Sheep will bring trouble.

TIGER: 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998, 2010
CELEBRITIES: Tom Cruise, Jay Leno, Steve Carell, Leonardo DiCaprio, William H. Macy, Ryan Phillippe, Amanda Bynes
PLACEMAT SAYS: Tiger people are aggressive, courageous, candid, and sensitive. Look to the Horse or Dog for happiness. Beware of the Monkey.

RABBIT: 1939, 1951, 1963, 1975, 1987, 1999, 2011
CELEBRITIES: Angelina Jolie, Brad Pitt, Ian McKellen, Conan O’Brien, Kate Winslet, Tara Reid, Quentin Tarantino, Mark Hamill
PLACEMAT SAYS: Luckiest of all signs, you are also talented and articulate. Affectionate, yet shy, you seek peace throughout your life. Marry a Sheep or Boar. Your Opposite is the Cock.

DRAGON: 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012
CELEBRITIES: David Hasselhoff, Chuck Norris, Mary McDonnell, Reese Witherspoon, Haley Joel Osment, Wanda Sykes, Sarah Palin
PLACEMAT SAYS: You are eccentric and your life complex. You have a very passionate nature and abundant health. Marry a Monkey of Rat late in life. Avoid the Dog.

SNAKE: 1929, 1941, 1953, 1965, 1977, 1989, 2001
CELEBRITIES: Martha Stewart, Tim Gunn, Sarah Michelle Gellar, J.K. Rowling, Daniel Radcliffe, Robert Downey Jr.
PLACEMAT SAYS: Wise and intense with a tendency towards physical beauty. Vain and high tempered. The Boar is your enemy. The Cock or Ox are your best signs.

HORSE: 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002
CELEBRITIES: Denzel Washington, Katie Holmes, Joe Biden, Oprah Winfrey, Clint Eastwood, John Travolta, Harrison Ford
PLACEMAT SAYS: Popular and attractive to the opposite sex. You are often ostentatious and impatient. You need people. Marry a Tiger or a Dog early, but never a Rat.

SHEEP: 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003
CELEBRITIES: William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, Pamela Anderson, Mo’Nique, John Barrowman, John Krasinski, Will Ferrell
PLACEMAT SAYS: Elegant and creative, you are timid and prefer anonymity. You are most compatible with Boars and Rabbits, but never the Ox.

MONKEY: 1932, 1944, 1956, 1968, 1980, 1992, 2004
CELEBRITIES: Miley Cyrus, Kristen Bell, George Lucas, Will Smith, Tom Hanks, Carrie Fisher, Jake Gyllenhaal
PLACEMAT SAYS: You are very intelligent and are able to influence people. An enthusiastic achiever, you are easily discouraged and confused. Avoid Tigers. Seek a Dragon or Rat.

COCK: 1933, 1945, 1957, 1969, 1981, 1993, 2005
CELEBRITIES: Britney Spears, Jennifer Aniston, Paris Hilton, Jack Black, Steve Martin, Jason Bateman, Jessica Alba
PLACEMAT SAYS: A pioneer in spirit, you are devoted to work and quest after knowledge. You are selfish and eccentric. Rabbits are trouble. Snakes and Oxen are fine.

DOG: 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006
CELEBRITIES: Cher, Madonna, Matt Damon, Steven Spielberg, Queen Latifah, Tina Fey, Ellen DeGeneres, George W. Bush
PLACEMAT SAYS: Loyal and honest you work well wit others. Generous yet stubborn and often selfish. Look to the Horse or Tiger. Watch out for Dragons.

BOAR: 1935, 1947, 1959, 1971, 1983, 1995, 2007
CELEBRITIES: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jada Pinkett Smith, Joel McHale, Sam Neill, Amy Poehler, Hillary Clinton
PLACEMAT SAYS: Noble and chivalrous. Your friends will be lifelong, yet you are prone to marital strife. Avoid other Boars. Marry a Rabbit or a Sheep.

RAT: 1936, 1948, 1960, 1972, 1984, 1996, 2008
CELEBRITIES: Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner, Samuel L. Jackson, Cameron Diaz, Ashlee Simpson, John McCain
PLACEMAT SAYS: You are ambitious yet honest. Prone to spend freely. Seldom make lasting friendships. Most compatible with Dragons and Monkeys. Least compatible with Horses.

So what year are you? Does your personality match up with what the wise Chinese food placemat says? I’m the Cock, and it sounds about right. I can be a little too devoted to school and work, and anyone who reads this blog might think I’m a bit eccentric.

HOLIDAYS | Craig | January 26, 2009 5:21 am

46 Comments

By Xi_Heather, January 26, 2009 @ 5:59 am

Hello fellow cock!

Mine fits well enough. I’d like to think I’m eccentric, but I’m not sure I am. Maybe I’m vicariously eccentric.

On a completely separate note, we were watching I Love Lucy last night and noticed that the producer’s first name was Argyle. I hadn’t realized that could be an actual name!
By Tam, January 26, 2009 @ 6:58 am

I’m a dragon. I don’t think I’m eccentric nor is my life that complex, in my opinion anyway. I’m pretty healthy I guess. I see Reese Witherspoon is a dragon and they are supposed to be with a monkey which Jake Gyllenhaal is so maybe true love is in the air. Gung Hei Faat Choi (Happy New Year in Cantonese) everyone.
By David from Brazil, January 26, 2009 @ 7:12 am

I’m a Sheep. I was always quite timid, creative maaaybe, but elegant is too much of a stretch. My boyfriend is always trying to guide me to wear better clothes. Like that look that says “Whoa, misters, you’re not thinking of going out looking like THAT are you??”. I just like using what’s comfortable! And he is a Horse (cough), so neither one of the “preferred” matches or the forbidden one I guess.
By john, January 26, 2009 @ 7:38 am

Monkey here, which may be why Tam and I get along so well. I married a Rat and it works really well. Some of my personality is reflected in the mat, but like most horoscopes, not all of it.
By Tam, January 26, 2009 @ 8:42 am

John: My little monkey friend. You are TRULY one of Craig’s dancing monkeys.
By bernd, January 26, 2009 @ 8:53 am

Happy New Year to all Chinese and Chinese-for-today-only.

I’m so not Chinese. I’m supposed to be a horse but can only identify somewhat with impatient, as in I don’t suffer fools gladly. I’m most incompatible with a rat, bwhahahahaha, BF is a rat, ’nuff said. I don’t need people and my appeal to the opposite sex is severely limited. I don’t think I’m ostentatious, but that’s for others to judge.
By Nicole, January 26, 2009 @ 9:43 am

Happy Chinese New Year to you too! I’m a Monkey, and I think it suits me, I kinda wish I was a Dragon though, Dragons are cool.
By S., January 26, 2009 @ 9:44 am

I’m a snake. The Cock is my friend.

And the jokes just write themselves.
By Polt, January 26, 2009 @ 9:51 am

Ya know, Craiggers, I knew there was a reason everytime I thought of you I thought of the Cock.

I’m a Sheep, apparently. “Elegant and creative, you are timid and prefer anonymity.” Okay, elegant and creative, sure I’ll take those. Timid and anonymity??? Not in THIS lifetime. I get to share an animal year with John Barrowman (who doesn’t seem timid or shy either)! How lucky am I?

HUGS…
By Xi_Heather, January 26, 2009 @ 10:04 am

S., speaking of jokes, I didn’t even realize the humor value of my first two sentences until it was so kindly pointed out to me in email by TwoPi.

TwoPi also laughed at me about questioning whether or not I’m eccentric (“You who teaches in a shark jacket whilst barefoot, and is convinced that math is SO COOOOL!!!!!!”)

OK, maybe the horoscope is spot on. I think I’m the only prof around here who teaches barefoot most of the year.
By TwoPi, January 26, 2009 @ 10:05 am

You mean to tell me that the “Summer of ’69″ was also “The Year of the Cock”? Hmmm.
By Craig, January 26, 2009 @ 10:07 am

LOL @ “Mine fits well enough.” I didn’t pick up on that either! That’s great!
By Tam, January 26, 2009 @ 10:09 am

Nicole: Dragons are cool. I love being a dragon. I could even get a dragon tattoo and not just be pretentious and trendy. Not that I’m getting a dragon tattoo …. I don’t think. Who knows by the time I hit another milestone and figure time to get inked up again.
By Xi_Heather, January 26, 2009 @ 10:12 am

(Tam is now totally getting a dragon tatoo. The milestone can be “Friday”.)
By Tam, January 26, 2009 @ 10:20 am

Heather: Ummmm, that’s a bit soon. I already have plans for the next one so Mr. Dragon will have to wait. But everyone gets dragons, its so overdone. Now if I was a sheep like dear Polt, THEN it would be an original. I’m pretty sure they don’t get many requests for sheep tattoos.
By Ryan, January 26, 2009 @ 10:24 am

I’m a tiger which implies I’m aggressive and my astrological sign is Gemini which implies I’m two-faced. Judging by those two things I don’t know why anyone would want to get close to me.

(though it’s probably a good thing in the bedroom)
By Kári, January 26, 2009 @ 10:59 am

Yay, according to this, Jake Gyllenhaal is right for me.
By john, January 26, 2009 @ 11:18 am

Tam: I’ve never denied I am a dancing monkey, but now I am a monkey in more than one way.
By Hayden, January 26, 2009 @ 11:41 am

Hayden The Snake….it all makes sense now….
By Milo, January 26, 2009 @ 11:49 am

I am the year of the Dragon and I can see why… “you are eccentric…” duh!

DRAGON: 1940, 1952, 1964, 1976, 1988, 2000, 2012
CELEBRITIES: David Hasselhoff, Chuck Norris, Mary McDonnell, Reese Witherspoon, Haley Joel Osment, Wanda Sykes, Sarah Palin
PLACEMAT SAYS: You are eccentric and your life complex. You have a very passionate nature and abundant health. Marry a Monkey of Rat late in life. Avoid the Dog.

Ughhhhh at Sarah Palin but YAY at David Hasselhoff and Chuck Norris!

Happy New Year to you too old stick!!
By rhoddy01, January 26, 2009 @ 12:29 pm

Yeah1 I’m an Ox! This is my year baby, and totally explains my obsession for looking for Cock.
By bernd, January 26, 2009 @ 12:46 pm

Tam, you could get the dragon tat Harry Potter style, who has it on his chest, according to Ginny. .
By Nick, January 26, 2009 @ 12:48 pm

I lurve the fact that my opposite is the cock. Appropriate…
By Enrico, January 26, 2009 @ 12:49 pm

YES!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m the same as Sarah Palin!!!!
And Mary McDonnell too! So awesome!
And Tam and Milo of course!

And I guess mine is right. My life is complex and I am passionate. Maybe?
By Tam, January 26, 2009 @ 12:54 pm

Bernd: Ewwwwww. I think not.

Enrico: Hello my fellow dragon.
By Chris, January 26, 2009 @ 1:06 pm

I’m a Ssssnake. I can be vain, but I try to fight that tendancy. But, I like to think that I am very patient. I guess some of it fits me, and some doesn’t.

I can see some cock like aspects to Craig’s blogger persona. Things are probably more complex IRL.
By Ryan, January 26, 2009 @ 1:28 pm

I’m a Cock. It says I get along with Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum. That explains why I like Project Runway.
By Enrico, January 26, 2009 @ 1:32 pm

I feel like I match more closely with the description for snake or cock. Vain, selfish, etc. lol.
By M. Nicodemus, January 26, 2009 @ 1:43 pm

For many years I harbored under the delusion that I was a Dragon until someone pointed out that since my birthday is at the begining of January (before Chinese New Year) I am technically a Rabbit. The Cock is my opposite, really? I don’t buy that, way too many of my friends are Cocks. I have even been in love with a few Cocks. How many times can I say Cock in this post?

Cock.
By Kimi, January 26, 2009 @ 5:37 pm

I’m a rat and the only thing right about me was I spend freely. I am not ambitious at all, and I have lots of long term friendships, thank you very much. And if you don’t think so, I’m never speaking to you again!!!!
By Sven, January 26, 2009 @ 7:59 pm

I’m a sheep, although when I was a child it was called The Ram. I think my mum might have made that up, but it kept me happy. Elegant? Of course. Creative? Extremely. Timid and anonymous? Now you’re talking out of your hat.
By jere, January 26, 2009 @ 8:07 pm

I’m a snake. This thing is uncanny, I can’t tell you how often I hear, “Jere, you’re so wise and intense with a tendency towards physical beauty, just like Buffy and Harry Potter!”
By Michelle M., January 26, 2009 @ 8:36 pm

Monkey, here (was going to say, a Dancing monkey, but Tam beat me to it). Also explains why I like Tam and Enrico so much (and Milo and Kimi too, of course)!

john: I had a feeling you would be a monkey…

Hope you cocks are wary of the evil bunnies.
By john, January 26, 2009 @ 9:05 pm

Michelle M.: Was it the tail? I just noticed Jere got Buffy and Harry Potter. I only hope that Jake Gyllenhaal and Will Smith cancel out George Lucas…
By jewelz916, January 26, 2009 @ 10:18 pm

Oooh, oooh, ooh! I’m like Horshack on Welcome Back, Kotter. And that’s even MORE eerie when you see my Chinese Zodiac is……

HORSE: 1930, 1942, 1954, 1966, 1978, 1990, 2002
CELEBRITIES: Denzel Washington, Katie Holmes, Joe Biden, Oprah Winfrey, Clint Eastwood, John Travolta, Harrison Ford
PLACEMAT SAYS: Popular and attractive to the opposite sex. You are often ostentatious and impatient. You need people. Marry a Tiger or a Dog early, but never a Rat.

I am TOTALLY popular and attractive…and I dare anyone to say any different. I definitely need people….they tell me how popular and attractive I am!
By Michelle M., January 26, 2009 @ 10:24 pm

john: Had to do further research. Must cancel out Lucas (that neck).
Hows about Daniel Craig, Aaron Eckhart, Casper Van Dien, Eric Bana, Hugh Jackman, James Caviezel, Daniel Dae Kim, Julian McMahon, Marcus Schenkenberg, Michael Vartan, Owen WIlson and Ziggy Marley for starters?
By Tam, January 26, 2009 @ 10:32 pm

Hmmmm, so Michelle posts a list of all hot monkey boys. Since I’m supposed to find a monkey late in life (is this late enough do you think?) I better give some of those gentlemen a call.
By Michelle M., January 26, 2009 @ 10:38 pm

Tam: I do believe Dave S. is a hot monkey boy…
By Michelle M., January 26, 2009 @ 10:38 pm

And he can dance…
By ExAstrisScientia, January 26, 2009 @ 11:28 pm

had a big chinese food lunch today, my boss is chinese, and I’m a cock too
By David, January 27, 2009 @ 1:28 am

Just another physically beautiful snake here. Don’t hate me, I can’t help it. Now excuse me while I plot the downfall of Amy Poehler.
By polt, January 27, 2009 @ 10:01 am

Dave S. can indeed dance. This i know from personal experience.

HUGS…
By Ryan (in Mexico), January 27, 2009 @ 12:39 pm

Geesh, there’s a lot of Ryans here and even one who’s also a cock! I’m a cock too, which is somehow quite appropriate, haha.
By RcktMan, January 28, 2009 @ 3:52 am

I’m a dog. And it’s fitting. But that list of celebs is rather daunting. Next to Cher, Madonna, Matt Damon, Steven Spielberg, Queen Latifah, Tina Fey and Ellen DeGeneres, you’d think I’d be a millionaire… or famous… right now. Oh well, I guess I take after losers like George W. Bush. *sigh*