Monthly Archives: January 2009

My Battlestar Galactica Predictions

January 15, 2009
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Here is a list of my predictions for the remaining episodes of Battlestar Galactica. I’m putting them in writing because when they come true, I’d like to be able to refer back to this post, put on my big boy voice and yell: “In your face! In yo faaaaace!” I’m also making as many predictions as possible to raise my chances of being able to use said big boy voice.

THE FINAL CYLON: Dee. She dated both Billy and Apollo, giving her access to both the military and the presidency. I also think that regardless of who the final Cylon is, that they will have known all along that they were a Cylon, unlike the other four who were “switched on”.

WHO DIES: Roslin and Starbuck. Roslin is the dying leader as prophesied (spell check tells me it’s not prophesized, which I’m not quite sure I believe) in the scriptures. I’ve debated back and forth over whether it’ll be Starbuck or Apollo who dies (I believe it will definitely be one of them) and finally settled on Starbuck.

STARBUCK: Is a prophet/angel sent from the Gods to save humanity. She may be the harbinger of death as stated by the Cylon hybrid, but death is really just representative of the rebirth of humanity, or perhaps the death of the Cylons who refuse to make peace with the humans.

APOLLO: Will succeed Roslin as president after she dies. I guess this one may be kind of obvious since he’s already been acting president, but it’s a prediction nonetheless.

HELO, SHARON, AND HERA: Will live happily ever after. I really don’t see what the point of killing any of these characters would be. They’ve been through so much all series. I think their story will be the silver lining to other characters tragedies and sacrifice.

SPEAKING OF HERA: Hera and Nicholas (Chief and Cally’s baby) will play a defining role in the conclusion of the series. I want to say that there might be a flash forward to when they’re adults, but it just doesn’t seem like something BSG would do. But why else would there be such a vast focus on them the entire series if they are just pawns the entire time? I feel that something the children knowingly do will effect the outcome of the story.

BALTAR: Will find out that his life is meaningless. God never had a plan for him. He will be driven mad by this knowledge, and either commit suicide, or go into a life of seclusion with Head Six.

EARTH: The planet found in the mid-season finale is not our Earth. I’m still too leery of how they didn’t show it clearly from space to show any defining continental shapes. I think that planet is the lost and obliterated Cylon homeworld destroyed in their civil war. Earth is another planet that will be found later on. I’m still unsure about the timeline, but if I had to guess, I’d say when they find Earth it’ll be pre-civilization and the Humans and Cylons who settle there are our ancestors.

There we have it. Agree? Disagree? What are your predictions?

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The Five Worst Battlestar Galacticas

January 15, 2009
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As presented by a drunk Ellen Tigh:


The episodes are Black Market, Hero, Sine Qua Non, The Woman King, and A Day in the Life

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Buffy the Vampire Slayer – Season Two

January 14, 2009
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This has to be the slowest and the fastest it’s ever taken me to watch a season of television. Slowest because I started it over a year ago, but lost interest after the episode Inca Mummy Girl, and fastest because I finished the remaining 18 episodes in under a week. Go me! So last week I decided to give it another shot. It started off a little rough since episode five was titled Reptile Boy. Did the title have to be so reminiscent of Inca Mummy Girl? But I watched it, and what did you know? I was entertained! So I continued watching, and watching, and watching and now I’m hooked. It really just took time to get things moving, but once it did, I was riveted.

Even the standalone episodes (which I’m not a fan of in any series that has an overarching storyline) didn’t bother me, because they’re so gosh darn entertaining. They’re funny, scary, and brilliant all in one! Even the standalone episodes still fit in with the rest of the season in one way or another. Remember the Halloween episode where everyone turned into the costumes they were wearing? That was a great standalone episode. And remember how Xander was the army guy? Well ten episodes later, he used his army knowledge that he remembered from Halloween in a completely different standalone episode! Connecting unrelated episodes in unexpected ways? When does that ever happen on average television shows? It’s genius!

Also, the writers and actors all appeared to have become more comfortable with their characters. Buffy and Angel developed nicely and Xander’s jokes don’t fall flat nearly as much as they did the first season (and the first half of second season). And Spike and Drusilla were great villains! James Marsters is so charming, even when he’s evil, and Drusilla was just so much fun to watch. Then we get to the ending. Oh the ending! Why must you be so heartbreaking?! I’m still not sure why Buffy had to do what she did, but I assume it’ll be explained in Season Three. So there we have it fellow nerds! No longer can I be chastised and threatened to have my nerd card taken away for not falling in line with the other Whedonites! I’m am now a Buffy fan! Huzzah!

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Battlestar Galactica Goodness

January 14, 2009
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The final ten episodes ever of Battlestar Galactica start on Friday! I have some new posts to celebrate this joyous and devastating occasion that I’ll post this week, but I thought I’d remind you of my Battlestar Galactica posts of yore:

Battlestar Galactica LOLCats
Battlestar Galactica LOLCats – Redux
Battlestar Galactica LOLCats – Three for All
Who is the Most Irritating Character on BSG?
Starbuck’s Guide to Being a Tomboy

Stay tuned for more Battlestar Galactica fun!

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The Strangers and Bolt – Reviews

January 13, 2009
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Netflix #55 – The Strangers – Suggested by Michelle, Andy, and The Infamous Dr. Para

So I was all set to watch a scary movie. I put on my pajamas, turned out the lights, got under a cozy blanket on the recliner and hit the play button. (Okay, fine, the enter button, but play button sounds better.) I’d say I made it about twenty minutes in, and the first ominous knocking on the door in the movie (the movie is about a home invasion), before I had to turn the lights back on. This movie was freaking scary! And it certainly doesn’t help matters that I’m a scaredy cat. I don’t know who I was trying to kid with that lights out business! It was the best kind of scary too. Scary that could actually happen. Things moving in the background and jumping out of corners. And have you seen those masks? Chilling! I have to say, that towards the end, about the last half hour, when the bad guys came out of the shadows, it got a bit less frightening and unbelievable, but all in all it was still a good scary movie.


Bolt

Talk about a dichotomy of movies! I realize this review is coming a bit late. I wanted to see it right when it came out, but illness and the holidays prevented me and Michelle from seeing it until last weekend, but let me tell you, it was well worth the wait! Disney cartoons (excluding Pixar movies) have been lacking lately, but this totally had all the old school Disney charm you want. I laughed, I cried, I was introduced to my current song of obsession “Barking at the Moon”, it was just great. And that hamster was laugh out loud hysterical! If you wanted to see this but never got a chance, definitely make time to see it before it leaves theaters totally. Especially if you’re an animal lover!

Keep your recommendations coming!

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Guess Who Turned Three Today!

January 12, 2009
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If you answered Jillian, she of the thorough Christmas stocking examination, then you’re correct!

When she’s not busy opening stockings in ridiculously adorable ways, she’s also being my extraordinary niece and goddaughter. Happy Birthday Jillian!

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The Adventures of Super Viagra and Vagina Girl – Attack of the 50 Foot Avitable!

January 12, 2009
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Thanks to Avitable and Miss Britt for being such good sports! Be careful, or you might just end up in one of my cartoons someday!
For more Adventures of Super Viagra and Vagina Girl: CLICK HERE!
For Super Viagra and Vagina Girl T-shirts and other goodies: CLICK HERE!
For Super Viagra T-shirts and other goodies: CLICK HERE!
For Vagina Girl T-shirts and other goodies: CLICK HERE!

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Alien Abduction – Myths vs Facts

January 9, 2009
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If one ever finds themselves being abducted by aliens, there are several things one must know in order to survive the experience. The most important thing you can do is prepare yourself beforehand, and the best way to do that is to know the truth about alien abductions, which is why I would like to dispel several myths for you right now:

MYTH: You will be returned once the aliens are finished with you.
FACT: It’s called an alien abduction, not an alien borrowing and putting back in your warm bed when they’re done. Nowhere in the definition of abduction does it presume you will be returned safely, so chances are you will never see Earth again.

MYTH: But!
FACT: No. If you are returned to Earth, it is likely that you have been replaced by a synthetic lookalike, implanted with the memories of your former life. If you think you’ve been replaced by a synthetic lookalike, please do the human race a favor and kill yourself immediately before your hidden programming is activated and you turn into a killing machine. Besides, even if you are yourself, it means that the aliens didn’t want you, so there must be something wrong with you, therefore we don’t want you either.

MYTH: Aliens are little green men who want to anal probe you.
FACT: Aliens are large green men who want to anal probe you.

MYTH: Aliens will put you into a temporary paralysis in order to transport you to their ship.
FACT: The paralysis is self-inflicted because you don’t want to smush the shit you just took into your nice clean pajamas.

MYTH: Aliens abduct humans to run tests on them.
FACT: Yes, because you are just so fascinating, aren’t you? Wrong. Aliens did not come millions of lightyears from across the other side of the universe just to see how you poop. They’ve learned everything they needed about humans from the first ten abductees thousands of years ago. The rest they look up on Wikipedia.

MYTH: Aliens wish to breed with humans.
FACT: Seriously, you people need to get over yourselves. Aliens were not on their home planet getting interplanetary transmissions of Wife Swap thinking to themselves: “Damn, I gotta get me a piece of that!”

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The Book has Arrived

January 8, 2009
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I got my copy of How to Change the World today, and I have to say, I think it came out pretty darn good. I’m really happy with the finished product, and hope that those of you who ordered one are also. It’s so shiny!


I’d like to thank you all for your support and encouragement! CLICK HERE if you want to purchase your own copy.

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What I did with my Wednesday

January 8, 2009
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I watched four (read: FOUR!) episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I was previously underwhelmed by Season 1, and I’ve had Michelle’s copy of Season 2 since forever, but gave up on it after the dreadful episode Inca Mummy Girl (think Black Market or Woman King in High School). But anyone who’s anyone loves Buffy, and I’ve always felt left out, so I’m giving it another shot. After Babylon 5 won me over, I was inspired to give Buffy another whirl. I just need to get over the hump. That’s why I’m immersing myself into Buffy fastly and furiously until I love it, and I have faith that I will love it. In fact, the four episodes I watched last night were pretty good, so I’m happy to keep going. Some words of encouragement from my lovely readers about all the awesomeness I have in store for me might be helpful though.

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