Netflix #60 – Barb Wire – Suggested by no one
I know I’m going to lose a lot of credibility here, but let’s face it, I never had much to begin with. Well you know how I love bad movies, right? This is a prime example of an awesome bad movie. And it’s not even that bad! From the second the movie starts and your welcomed by an image of Pamela Anderson’s nipples getting hosed down on a stripper stage, to the remarkably well shot for a B-movie climactic fight on a moving construction crane (featuring none other than Jango Fett), it’s just a gosh darn fun movie. There are loads of laughs (many deliberate, some unintentional), the fights scenes are all fairly exciting, and the story isn’t half bad either. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, and neither should you. I may be a bit bias, because I think Pamela Anderson is a genius, but if you enjoy B-movies like Showgirls and Catwoman, or any of the Sci-Fi Original Movies, give this one a try too!
Netflix #61 – Krull – Suggested by John, Dave S., M. Nicodemus, Dustin, Sven, Juliet, GoKitty. Warned against by We_Be_Toys
I’m still trying to make my way through all the 80′s fantasy movies I missed as a kid and I have to say, this was by far the worst one so far. I should have listened to We_Be_Toys who referred to is as Dull. Seriously, I think this movie was about 5 hours long. And the plot was so incoherent and thrown together, I just could not muster up the energy to care about anything that was going on. For example, the main character whatshisname, was told to go find the magic weapon whozeewhatsit, so he climbed a mountain for about 15 minutes, walked into a cave, and there it was. Right there. Like, that was it. It was RIGHT THERE. Like, what? No really, it was just sitting there waiting for him. And he took it, and the mountain didn’t collapse or anything. He just went back to his mentor and was like “I got it!” and they went on their merry way. Oh, and the major villain of the film, Krull, was a joke. A man in a rubber suit if I ever saw one, and the final battle was just idiotic. The one cool scene was the Widow in the Web scene, but even that didn’t fit in with the rest of the movie. I think they just had a cool idea and wanted to throw it in there. This one should definitely be skipped. Viva La Neverending Story!
Hmmm. I remember seeing Krull way back in the day but remember nothing. Barb Wire? Never seen it. I’m always a bit embarrassed to say that Pammie is Canadian. Sigh. but what can you do?
I’ve always wanted to see Barb Wire! Now it’s an absolute must.
Okay, I’ll admit I was young(er) when I saw Krull, but I remember it to be a cool movie.
But, y’know, the memory’s the first to go…
I’ve never seen Barb Wire. Oh Pam, she was so beautiful when she first posed for Playboy. Now she is just a caricature of herself.
I just watched Krull to relive some of the nostalgia. It was cooler when I was young, now it just has big gaping plot holes. The widow in the web was a neat part. As a side, the woman who played the Widow was also in Dune. I think she played Lady Jessica.
I didn’t realize that Krull was originally going to be Dungeons and Dragons the movie, but they went with Krull. I think it was advertised as D&D The Movie in Europe.
Pam was hot before she was tainted by rock stars, surfers, musicians and anything in hollywood with a pogo stick between his legs. Also she needs to deflate those flotation devices on her chest as well but at one time she was hot and waiting for me to show up….
Okay, so how do the homely rockers always end up with the gorgeous women?! I mean, c’mon, Kid Rock’s got a face only a second cousin twice removed could love, yet he ends up with Pam. WTF? I think Kid Rock’s awesome — and especially so because he bamboozled the hefty-breasted one into having sex with him — but sheesh, what are they thinking?!
Dude, he had to stick his hand in LAVA to get the glaive out! People dont even stick their hand in the oven without major protection. Really though, you had to watch Krull in the 80s when those effects were cutting edge. :}
Dave: Bamboozle her? I think he just had to vaguely suggest it. Discriminating taste is not something she’s known for. Maybe he’s well endowed?
The one positive about Krull is that it is easy to make fun of. Cameron has been pitching a MST3K style party to drink and make fun of it as a party.
Dave S.: I know?! And it isn’t just Pam either. Rick Ocasek and Paulina Porishkova, Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel, Any one and Steven Tyler. What the hell?
On bad days like this I give thanks that I have Puntabulous and these types of posts to take my mind off of work
john: I need to be a rockstar…
Dave S. : You’ve got the hair for it, the bod for it….Now about the voice…..
You see, Krull is the reason people think scifi and fantasy is pure crapola.
Dave S: Yes, Kid Rock is ugly. But he’s trailer park trash; and from my experience, trailer park trash boys can really “bring it”. Maybe it’s the early training they get.?.?
And I’ve never seen either of the movies. Don’t know how I missed Krull, but based on your review I’m glad I did. And Barb Wire, the name is an instant clue that I don’t want to see this one. I did catch Pam and Tommy’s greatest hits and I have to admit I kinda enjoyed it.
Is there a clever reason it’s called “Barb” Wire instead of “Barbed” Wire?
Enrico: There’s nothing clever about a Pam Anderson movie. I’m assuming “Barb” refers to the female name “Barbara”. But I could be wrong.
Yeah, her real name is Barbara.
If you enjoyed Barb Wire, you might want to check out some Andy Sedaris films. I believe they’ve now been collected on DVD under the monkier “The Triple B Collection”. ‘Fit to Kill’, ‘The Dallas Connection’, ‘Hard Hunted’…all wonderful exercises in Grade B filmmaking. Jokes, double entendres, machine guns, explosions and boobs (and some hot guys too). Start with whichever one you like, they’re all pretty much the same.
Mark: (please tell me you will get this:) “Where are we?”
All I remember about Barb Wire is that she doesn’t like to be called, “Babe.” Much like I don’t like to be called, “Ma’am”. Maybe that should be my superhero catch phrase… I’ll snarl it right before I cut off the offender’s head.
Craig, I think most of your guilty pleasure movies were nominated for Razzies. Have you ever thought about just Netflixing the past winners?
I happen to enjoy some Razzie winners too: The Blue Lagoon, Staying Alive and Mommie Dearest (totally awesome, yet voted worst movie of the decade).
Michelle M: I can’t believe you’ve seen Barb Wire! Wait, you’ve seen it, right? The problem with the Razzies is that they don’t distinguish good bad movies from bad bad movies. So if I just pick from their list, I’ll get stuck with Norbit. And I have a feeling that’s a bad bad movie.
Of course I’ve seen Barb Wire. But not at the theater. That makes it okay.
Oh Norbit…. my ex picked out that one, obviously X |
Didn’t love Krull? Wash your mouth out, blasphemer.
Oh Craig I’m so sorry for leading you astray…
I fully admit that I cannot not remember this movie well enough to remember it sucked and for this I should be punished. Perhaps I shall put my hand in a pool of lava.
I do know my parents loved that movie, but they also played Dungeons and Dragons. So, go figure.
P.S. – Did I already tell you to watch Red Sonja? I make no guarantees that it’s good but it’s awesome for it’s oily Arnold factor. Good for a laugh, at very least!
John: I can’t remember, was that in the car or on the boat? I wasn’t really concentrating on the dialog
Mark: The boat. I didn’t notice it at first either, a friend of mine pointed it out and the phrase made it into our lexicon.
Following up on Red Sonja, also watch Conan II: the destroyer
That’s one bad movie that is so bad it’s good. It has Grace Jones in it, Grace Jones I tell you!
John: I Love it. from now on when it’s getting really good, I’m going to say “Where are we”.
Ahh, that’s if I ever get the chance again.
I should have known. In the car she had her mouth full…..Like, really full!
Krull is right up there with Red Sonya, Conan, Willow, Lord of the Rings, Clash of the Titans, Jason and the Argonauts, Harry Potter, Legend, Never Ending story, Lady Hawke, Dune, Star Wars, the Last Starfighter, Gladiator, Braveheart, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, & a crap-ton of others. Are movies really so different now? I mean 15 minutes of rock climbing vs. 15 minutes of stolen vehicle races. Krull is a fantasy movie. Fantasy is as much about the artistic aspects as the adventure or journey and story. Granted it is not the greatest movie ever, but for its time, it fit audience needs. And during that time, everybody was doing fantasy rip-offs like cheap drugs. Saying you didn’t like it at all is like saying you couldn’t find a single redeeming. Krull like many fantasy movies serves the purpose of invoking the imagination and as a reminder of things we’ve lost in today’s society.