Mar
2
It all started when I found the definition of bedgasm on Urban Dictionary: “A feeling of complete and utter euphoria which peaks when climbing into bed at the end of an 18-hour workday, a long road trip or hours of extremely strenuous physical activity. Under perfect conditions, the physical release has been likened to that of an intense sexual experience.”
I realized you could add “gasm” onto a lot of other words and it automatically becomes a million times better. Here are some of the ones I came up with, and their pretend definitions:
Typegasm: The glorious exhale made after a successful typing spree with no mistakes (or at least none that Microsoft Word didn’t already correct for you).
Poogasm: Getting to the bowl in time.
Nosegasm: A successful nose blow which allows you to breathe again, and you look into the tissue with pure awe.
Babygasm: The squeals made upon seeing an adorable baby.
Phonegasm: Seeing the name of the person you’ve been dying to hear from come up on your cell phone. alt: Textgasm.
Mirrorgasm: Taking a look in the mirror and being exceptionally happy with what you see that day.
Bookgasm: Finishing a really awesome book.
iPodgasm: When your iPod is on shuffle and you don’t feel like digging it out of your bag, and the song you were just wishing would come on comes on.
Staregasm: When you can’t stop staring at that hottie on the subway.
Viewgasm: Looking out the window to a really awesome view.
Not to be confused with:
TheViewgasm: The sigh of relief taken after shutting off those squawking chickens.
Have any you’d care to add? Have you sent me your submission for the create a super villain for Super Viagra and Vagina Girl contest yet?
March 2nd, 2009 at 5:36 am
Firstgasm – the odd and completely silly glee that comes from being the first person to comment on a new blog post.
March 2nd, 2009 at 6:35 am
I can’t believe you forgot: Geekgasm – Whe n you find or do something incredibly geeky.
March 2nd, 2009 at 6:52 am
I’m worried that Craig is on the road to wordgasmism — an addiction to creating wordgasms.
Or maybe it isn’t really quite that, just similar… pseudowordgasmism?
March 2nd, 2009 at 6:53 am
Does going back for seconds at the buffet lead to a moregasm?
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:16 am
I’ve heard that tennis players have Bjorn Borgasms.
And the comic book geeks (me) that are excited about Watchmen this weekend will undoubtedly have Alan Mooregasms.
Rumor has it the reason that Iraq was invaded was due to George W’s penchant for wargasms.
Participants in the Running of the Bulls benefit from matadorgasms.
Horror movie lovers experience goregasms.
People who enjoy suffering through really bad late-nineties comedy movies get Pauly Shoregasms. (though always a dribbler, never a shooter…)
Often during campfires, I get very vocal during my s’moregasms.
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:36 am
Those are all great. Such creative folks we have here, myself excluded.
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:44 am
Star Trek geeks who get off on androids with emotions have Loregasms.
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:46 am
Physicists have Bohrgasms.
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:48 am
Okay, I better stop before Jonah wakes up and has a Dave-galoregasm…
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:09 am
Dave, did you just have a comment-whoregasm?
Sorry, couldn’t resist!
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:19 am
Jonah will no doubt accuse Dave S of inducing a snoregasm.
Watching a “Green Acres” tv-marathon can lead to Ava Gaborgasm.
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:19 am
Jonah will no doubt accuse Dave S of inducing a snoregasm.
Watching a “Green Acres” tv-marathon can lead to Ava Gaborgasm.
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:35 am
Inadvertently double-clicking the “submit comment” button: InternetExplorgasm!
(Multiple, at that.)
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:47 am
Stop, stop, when I laugh I start coughing and my lungs start burning. No more.
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:48 am
Puntaborgasm – Checking this very website on a any morning and the smile or silly grin is spreading slowly over the whole face.
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:54 am
things were soooo quiet and peaceful last week….
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:54 am
Those who prefer Lost’s first- and second-season flashbacks have beforegasms.
March 2nd, 2009 at 9:05 am
Well, today started off great because we have lots of snow, so much that I had a snowgasm.
Of course, I got into work nearly on time and realize that we have an hour delay, so I’m brewing an angrygasm…..
March 2nd, 2009 at 9:41 am
Burrgasm: The chills you get when coming in out of the cold.
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:03 am
And who can forget Craig’s cleaning-my-poregasm? (Bioregasm?)
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:07 am
I constantly have peegasms when I finally get some relief after holding it for what seems like forever.
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:15 am
Ah, I thought of one. Procrastigasm, the joy you get in knowing you have put off that task you’ve been avoiding for another day (hour, minute). Usually achieved by spending your time thinking up potential gasm words for your favorite argyle website.
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:20 am
Bonegasm: what I give my ladies every chance I get
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:22 am
Sadgasm – the band from the Simpsons (seriously!)
You’veGotMailgasm – self-explanatory
And poogasm sounds way better as “buttgasm”
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:39 am
OK, Dave S., Let’s see:
Those who prefer earlier James Bond movies often have Roger Moore-gasms.
Those who live to travel to multiple destinations have tourgasms.
Those who rip up carpets and re-varnish the original wood have floorgasms.
Those who are easily excited by fungus have sporegasms.
Mallrats have storegasms.
Successful rowing teams have oargasms.
People who have hot Marines for boyfriends can have corps-gasms.
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:45 am
Kids who finally finish cleaning their rooms celebrate with choregasms.
March 2nd, 2009 at 10:47 am
Well done David.
My new one is cashgasm, the happiness you find when you realize your travel claim refund at work combined with overtime will bring your credit card balance down to ZERO! Yay me.
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:14 am
No mention from anyone on the Burg-asm from How I Met Your Mother? When they go in search of the best burger in NYC?
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:40 am
Debaters have imploregasms.
Those into S&M have soregasms.
Golfers enjoy foregasms.
Instructors who teach elementary English have either-or-neither-norgasms.
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:45 am
Saruman has Mordorgasms.
(okay, that was lame…)
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:47 am
Fans delighted when Rush plays a song from the “Fly By Night” album have By-Torgasms.
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:50 am
Staregasm: When you can’t stop staring at that hottie on the subway.
I’d call that an adoregasm.
March 2nd, 2009 at 11:55 am
LOL @ oargasms, soregasms, adoregasms, bioregasms, and You’veGotMailgasms.
john: I should have remembered Geekgasm, but how about Dorkgasm?
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:07 pm
Justin, I thought peegasms were those pleasant shivers men sometimes have after peeing. Or is it just me?
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:19 pm
Craig: Dorkgasm works fine! And probably feels pretty good too.
I used to have showgasms while watching Heroes, but not lately.
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:31 pm
When I walk down the Star Wars aisle at Target, I have a toygasm.
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:41 pm
I just experienced a “GimmeMoregasm” – the amazing feeling you have inside when you hear “It’s Britney, b*tch” and know that “Gimme More” is about to play!
March 2nd, 2009 at 12:52 pm
(n)orgasm– realizing which word goes with neither and which one goes with either.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:04 pm
like john said: geekgasm. Excactly what I did when I had all 8 of the Watchmen action figures laying on my bed.
HUGS…
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:09 pm
If you’re really indecisive, you have either-orgasms.
Being really into watching policy wonks give lectures on the environment leads to AlGorgasms.
Being a fanatic of Mary Richards and Laura Petrie leads to MaryTylerMoorgasms, usually accompanied by throwing your hat into the air at the same time.
Has no one mentioned yet that loving cyberntic Star Trek villains can cause borgasms?
HUGS…
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:14 pm
When I saw “Talk to Her” last night, on the big screen, I had a 114-minute-long Almodovargasm.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:18 pm
Mark: Pleasant shivers? I hate when I shiver when peeing. Nothing good can ever come out of a sporadic movement while peeing!
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:41 pm
Polt: I had a geekgasm just reading your Watchmen figure post, I can only imagine what it was like for you. I hope you aimed away from the bed.
Oh and Laura Petrie, definitely a Mooregasm. Running around in those tight little pants.
Justin: Oh, the peegasm, man they are best when the pleasure of going is equal, if not greater than the pain of holding it for so long.
March 2nd, 2009 at 1:41 pm
napgasm. When you are so tired that you slide into bed and it feels so good that you……well……gasm.
I am also heard using the word assgasm. (not what you think) it’s when something is really lame…..like
Hey joe, how was work today?
“oh it was a real assgasm”
March 2nd, 2009 at 2:03 pm
I like iPodgasm. There are times I think my iPod can read my mind. It’ll just be jamming along. Then it’ll play something that I’m not in the mood to hear. Oh well.
March 2nd, 2009 at 2:10 pm
I recently had a snow shovelgasm that feeling of pure relief when your 100′ food 2 car driveway has been cleared of 14″ of snow.
Next winter I intend on having multiple snow blowergasms.
BTW my favorite was poogasm!
March 2nd, 2009 at 2:39 pm
If you love reading about Ichabod Crane, do you get Headless Horsegasms?
Being a fan of overweight, scruffy filmakers could give you Micheal Moorgasms.
Getting excited about going to the largest city in Maryland could give you Baltimorgasms.
Being a devotee of Craiggers himself could give one Puntabulorgasms.
If you like listening to me ramble on and on about dull subjects, you could have a borgasm.
HUGS…
March 2nd, 2009 at 2:39 pm
Um…the last one SHOULD have read ‘boredgasms’.
HUGS…
March 2nd, 2009 at 3:01 pm
I think borgasms sounds better than boredgasm. “Bore” instead of “bored.” Just my opinion.
Has no one mentioned whoregasms?
March 2nd, 2009 at 3:03 pm
Yes I believe a borgasm would be the love of cyberneticly enhanced humanoids who travel the galaxy in geometrically shaped ships and follow a queen.
March 2nd, 2009 at 3:13 pm
I totally forgot eargasm – when you hit the sweet spot in your ear with the q-tip while cleaning your ears.
March 2nd, 2009 at 3:13 pm
I’m sure Mark, aka the Borg Queen, could tell us all about borgasms. Would the whole collective just stop, let out a little sign of delight and then continue on?
On a related Borg note, this is the second discussion I have been involved in concerning the Borg on two vastly unrelated sites. They appear to be invading my consciousness on all levels.
March 2nd, 2009 at 3:14 pm
John: Better and eargasm than an earworm. (Star Trek type or musical type)
March 2nd, 2009 at 3:24 pm
Speaking of earworm, I have one now! Lady Gaga’s “Poker Face,” which I don’t even like! >: |
March 2nd, 2009 at 3:38 pm
Tam: Don’t I know it! I get earworms (the musical variety) all the time. I wake up in the middle of the night with songs or sometimes words or phrases in my head and it makes me crazy. Bullets wouldn’t even take some of them out.
Enrico: I hear quite a bit of this Lady Gaga, but have yet to hear a song by her. I guess I should consider myself lucky?
It’s 1978 in my office today, I’ve got the disco rocking on my iTunes. One could say I am having a boogiegasm.
March 2nd, 2009 at 4:07 pm
foodgasm – that moment you eat the most delicious food ever. Sometimes this food isn’t as delicious as you actually think because you have starved yourself for far too long.
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:12 pm
No gasms to add….but this reminds me of that little game of adding “ASS” in front of SUV names: Ass Explorer, Ass Pilot, Ass Tracker, Ass Excursion, Ass Commander, etc.
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:50 pm
All these gasms are great. Might I ask for an encoregasm?
john – earworms are the worst (I usually have one going at all times). And I love the qtip eargasm thing.
I have sneezegasms. A good sneeze is very satisfying. I really hate when one is building, building, building, and then… nothing.
March 2nd, 2009 at 8:59 pm
Tam: resistance is futile.
HUGS…
March 2nd, 2009 at 9:31 pm
Getting just the right combination of marshmallows, chocolate and graham cracker: S’morgasm.
March 3rd, 2009 at 8:32 am
Ooo, Michelle M. I love the sneezegasm! I’m one of those people who sneezes really loudly sometimes (giant sinuses I guess). Sometimes they hurt, but after that, ooooo, sneezegasm.
March 3rd, 2009 at 9:19 am
Nosegasm = Epic
March 28th, 2009 at 2:40 am
I have owned two businesses where my slogans were:
Business #1 (a catering company) … “Mouthgasm” and still use it in my articles and books
Business #2 (a travel business/home based business)… “Money-Gasm”
Peace 2 U