IMPERATIVE
[im-per-uh-tiv], adjective: absolutely necessary or required; unavoidable.
The word imperative stems from the Latin word imperativus, which means “pertaining to a command”. Imperativus has its roots in the Latin words in- “in, toward” and -parare “beget, bear”.
Imperative is primarily used by people of authority. As a general rule of thumb it is only used (almost always over e-mail, but does occasionally make even douchier appearances verbally) when said person of authority forgets to do an item of work, and assumes that using the word “imperative” when directing you to do said item of work that said person of authority forgot (“It is imperative that you get this done first thing in the morning!”) makes them sound more important and therefore helps you forget that you’re only doing said imperative thing because said person of authority forgot to do so themselves, when in actuality, if said imperative thing was so “imperative” it would have been done already by said person of authority, or you would have been directed to do said imperative thing before it became “imperative”.
NOW TEACH ME SOMETHING I DON’T KNOW!
Was this post inspired by something that happened at work? You sound a little disgruntled. And it’s only Tuesday.
In the Greek world, Tuesday (the day of the week of the Fall of Constantinople) is considered an unlucky day. The same is true in the Spanish-speaking world, where a proverb runs: En martes, ni te cases ni te embarques, meaning, “On Tuesday, neither get married nor begin a journey.” For both Greeks and Spanish-speakers, the 13th of the month is considered unlucky if it falls on Tuesday, instead of Friday.
Woohoo! The return of TMST! I’m happy instead of crappy!
Though it sounds like you may be having work issues there, Craig…
Now here’s something you might not know:
I was doing a bit of research on the play Equus and found some interesting tidbits…
Equus was written by Peter Shaffer and first staged in London in 1973 starring Peter Firth (now a regular in the popular BBC series “Spooks”) as Alan Strang, the naked horse-worshipper boy who blinds 6 horses. Shaffer based the play on an actual event, turning it into a fictional psychological drama where Strang’s psychologist Dysart, through a series of flashbacks, tries to determine why Strang would commit such a heinous act. The play moved to Broadway in 1975 where it won a Tony for best play. Firth was nominated for an Oscar in the Best Supporting Actor category for the 1977 film version of the play, and won the Golden Globe for that same category.
The pivotal role of the boy’s psychiatrist has been played by many well-known actors including Richard Burton, Anthony Perkins, Leonard Nimoy, and George Takei.
Besides Firth, the role of Alan Strang has been played most notably by Tom Hulce and more recently Daniel Radcliffe of Harry Potter fame.
The play ended its recent Radcliffe-starring Broadway run last month.
Hmm…I think that was longer than Craig’s. That isn’t post hijacking, is it?
Sounds like it is imperative that someone take a day off….
And on to useless knowledge: The “inferno speaker blaster” will emit 4 very low frequency sounds (between 2 and 5 kilohertz) that will make you vomit, and if you are exposed long enough feel pain in the chest.
I have to get a recording of this to play when certain people are in my office. Maybe it will make them leave sooner.
Dave S.: I’m glad you clarified that. The post may be longer, but we all know that not even Avitable is longer than Craig.
Daniel Radcliffe’s (London) stage debut in Equus was on Feb. 27, 2007… a Tuesday.
Radcliffe appears nude in Equus. But is probably not longer than Craig.
Since I’m dealing with export stats today, here’s some useless information for you.
All goods that are shipped out of a country receive a code using the Harmonized Commodity Description and Coding System (HS). This system was developed by the World Customs Organization in Belgium and 170 countries subscribe. 98% of world trade uses the HS system. This is an up-to 6 digit code which tells you what is being shipped. The longer the code, the more specific. For example:
01 = live animals (but what kind you ask?)
0102 = bovine animals (but what kind of cows could they be?)
010290 = bovine animals non pure-bred (hamburger)
Now you all know how incredibly exciting my job is.
Constantine Maroulis was a finalist on the fourth season of American Idol a few years back and is currently starring on Broadway in Rock of Ages.
I did a community theater production of Chess with Constantine back in 1997 when he was 22. And I was … ahem … a little older than that.
David: That’s pretty damn cool.
Speaking of name-dropping… I went to high school with Wayne Static of Static-X. Back then, he was known as Wayne Wells and was in a Kiss cover band called Black Diamond. They used to play at our high school dances. If you read any bio on Wayne, his little home town of Shelby, Michigan is nowhere to be found
— he usually says he’s from Chicago where Static-X first got a following. I first met Wayne when we were both working on our school’s production of The Unsinkable Molly Brown.
Craig – from your twitters, it’s sounding like you work with/for a tool. My sympathies.
Heroes was good last night.
Tam – I haven’t been to sleep yet, but I think your comment may do the trick (I mean that it the nicest possible way). So thanks, I’m off to bed : ).
Tam: Look on the bright side — at least you’re not the one having to physically ship those hamburger-bound cows…
Michelle: I was wondering what the hell you were doing up at 5:00 in the morning. Sleep well. Those sugar rushes are a bitch it seems. Have more peeps when you wake up.
Michelle M.: For some reason, I picture little Daniel Radcliffe having a tiny peepee.
Of course, maybe that’s just me trying to make myself feel better. With Craig and Avitable around, I have to compensate *somehow*…
Didn’t a Puntabulous poster see Daniel’s goods? I thought someone did and commented on it last time this came up. Seriously, how many times is discussing Harry Potter’s penis too many times on Puntabulous? We likely haven’t reached it yet. Was it Mark? Hmmm. Anyway, seems to me he wasn’t anywhere near Craig’s league but it was respectable given the conditions (nekkid in front of several hundred people in a chilly theatre).
There were a bunch of camera phone stills of Daniel’s junk (Harry’s wand?) and the going consensus was exactly what Tam said. He’s no Craig, but respectable.
Michelle M.: I agree, Heroes was pretty good last night. I enjoyed it, but had a few (potentially spoilery) issues with it. And good lord woman, go to bed!
Craig: Dude, step away from the stapler, it isn’t worth it. Hope your day gets better.
Tam: I prefer the fake pic of his penis that’s going around. There’s so much more to look at. But I remember seeing cell phone pics that someone took in New York. I can’t remember where I saw them, but I agree, it was more than enough for most of us.
And Craig, John is right. It’s Imperative that you take a day off ASAP!
Tam: you forgot 010290???= bovine animals non pure-bred (hamburger), mad cow???
Mark: HAHAHAHA Don’t mock my beef industry.
Besides, we were shipping out mad cow beef straight to the Whitehouse for a few years, that should have been evident.
Tam: He isn’t getting off the hook that easily.
Tam: It’s all so clear to me now.
And since I have a friend in the industry, any chance of free boneless rib eyes showing up at my door?
Mark: Geez, its not like I have a cow in my basement waiting for slaughter. My cousin has a few hundred in his field.
If you mosey on up here though I might be convinced to cook you a steak.
Unfortunately I’m can’t enter Canada since the whole beaver “misunderstanding”. But maybe I can sneak up there in Polt’s trunk next month.
Mark: LOL It would be amazing if you were in Polt’s trunk. Well, you know what I mean, if you came with him, on the trip I mean. Arrrgghh. I give up. I’ve love to see ya. There.
Tam honey, put the shovel down.
LOL@John!
Since I have plenty of time on my hands I’m going to format and restore my hard drive. This usually takes me at least two days, so I won’t be around. (Please hold your applause until I have left the room).
OK, I’m gone.
“imperativus” was going to be a spell used in Harry Potter, but J.K. Rowling didn’t want to come off as a douche so she took it out.
LOL @ Enrico!
I adore the sound of deadlines as they go whooshing by. Sounds familiar doesn’t it. I used to get lots of imperative projects. It finally got the point where I told them I was one person and that they should prioritize.
Needless to say I didn’t last long there. I finally had enough of the stupidity after about 9 months.
Maybe if you spent more time working and less time blogging, said imperative would be done by now!!!
LOL @ Craig’s Boss!
Yeah, I can tell you something: my boss is an idiot. And that ties right in with the person in authority thing you mentioned.
As an aside, let’s not forget we’re talking about Polt’s trunk, not Avitables or Enrickyricardos. While I would love to think Mark could fit in my trunk, I just don’t think that’s possible.
………Oh, you meant my luggage. Sorry.
HUGS…
Freaking bosses. My turn for an imperative. I don’t wanna write a 10 min. speech by 4:00 this afternoon. And I’m apparently not since I’m here bitching about it rather than doing it. Assholes.
john: (re: the inferno speaker blaster) I suspect you mean 2Hz to 5Hz, not KHz: 2KHz is nearly the same as a C note, 3 octaves above middle C; 5 KHz is just slightly higher than the highest note on a piano.
I’d be happy to generate audio files of tones at any frequency you choose (or to describe how to do it using public domain software), but most audio equipment would struggle to play “music” files outside the 20Hz – 20KHz spectrum at high enough volume to be effective.
Then again, most “old people” can’t hear tones much higher than 12KHz, while young folk can.
This has led to two innovations: shopkeepers wanting to drive off loitering teens playing high frequency noises at shocking volume in their stores [with their older customers not noticing a thing], and young folk using these high frequency tones on their cells so they can get calls during class without the teacher knowing about it.
TwoPi: I’m not sure to what I am referring, a friend of mine is an audiologist and told me about it and that is what she called it.
Interestingly, my wife, while younger than me is no teenager, can still hear the “kids only” ring tones. We discovered this one night when a friend of ours was telling us about the tones. I did a search and was waiting for a tone to load and the Mrs. asked what the horrible sound was. Neither my friend or I could hear it. We determined her threshold is around 19.9-21.1KHz range while my friend and I are around the 14.9-15.8KHz range.
The running joke is she can hear cats crossing the lawn in the middle of the night.
Arrgh! That sucks! I can’t hear the 39 and under tones! I’m getting old!
Snickers – I’m still laughing over your “imperativus” comment : ).
Dave S. – I hear 39 and under is the new 29 and under.
Dave S.: We should join the class-action lawsuit against Sony over the Walkman. (Or maybe we should start one.) Sigh.
Yma Sumac will never sound the same again.
I googled the Inferno thingie, and John (and his audiologist) is/are right: the thing really is playing 4 notes in the 2KHz to 5KHz range. (Not particularly low notes at all.) What makes it work is (a) high volume [125 db] and (b) the specific combination of frequencies, which presumably are chosen to elicit some peculiar physical reactions.
Who knew that an off chord could cause violent nausea? [insert "that band sucks" joke]
What a great idea for a school science fair project!
Craig: I love TMST! (uh, teach me something tuesdays, not teenage mutant singing turtles)
TwoPi: I’m glad you like TMST. I’m shocked whenever I hear from a reader who says they miss them.
I’m just sorry to bring it back with such a lame edition. I still haven’t figured out the tone I want to use for these things.
Craig: Just make sure it’s not a 39-and-under tone — I wouldn’t be able to hear it…
Craig, I was so happy when I found out today was a Teach Me Something Tuesday! That was the highlight of my day (followed by a long day at work in which I was constantly busy and got nothing at all done. Now I have a bunch of imperative things to finish by morning.)
TMST can never be lame. You just restarted at a low dosage so we don’t od on the fun, since our tolerance levels are so low after the prolonged suspension of administration.