So I’m reading Twilight. After enjoying the movie and hearing about how much everyone loves the books, I decided to give it a try. Um, so basically it’s a romance novel. Seriously? I don’t want to read romance novels. I want to read fun adventures stories with vampires and werewolves. But so far the entire book (I’m about one third through) has been about Bella hating herself and loving the amazingly beautiful Edward. And they don’t even have sex, so it’s a chaste romance novel. What’s the fun in that? And are we supposed to hate Bella as much as she hates herself? Because I kinda hate her. I hate how rude she is to her nice normal friends, especially Mike, who was so gosh darn cute in the movie. Oh, but everyone loooves Bella and she gets asked to the dance by three guys and turns them all down because none of them are a vampire. Ugh! And even after being asked to the dance by three guys, she still has zero self-confidence and continuously doubts herself at the drop of a hat. What kind of hero/narrator is this? I can’t get behind her. And don’t even get me started on the clumsiness. Can we put the clumsy girl/woman cliché to bed please? I’m still going to keep reading it, but it better get good fast. We just met Jacob, and I kinda loved him, so I’m already on Team Jacob. But I have a feeling that’s not going to work out so well for me.
Mark: Free coffee and I might need product testers.
Tam: It’s better than “Hittin it” Lane. At least I think so.
The Dresden Files helped me to realize that Coraline was a Faerie tale.
There’s no job to big for me.
Tam: Um, I guess someone is paying attention to your post and the communities, *ahem*, needs:
http://www.bad-dragon.com/toys
Craig: If you’re still here, and not lost in literary land, I just wanted you to know that you have convinced me not to read books with words and stuff.
But seriously, you get a free three day vacation from Mark. I’m intentionally not taking my laptop on this trip. So enjoy!
Mark: Have a great trip and enjoy the wedding.
John: Holy shit!!! I am sending that to my friend in Australia. The wallaby? Who the hell thinks up this stuff? Its freakishly amazing. An even better question, what the hell were you searching for that got you to that page? I’m dying. This really has been a freaky day for me and this is the icing on the cake. Thanks for that.
Have a great trip Mark!
Hope you don’t mind me dropping by. Tam said I could come play with you.
She also sent me the link to the toys. I told her the one for the dragon is seriously undersized. As to the wallaby… freaks me out that there is someone going around getting our natural wildlife off just so they can take casts of their… well, you get where I’m going with this.
BTW, if you don’t like Twilight, Craig. You’re gonna friggin hate the rest. The first book is definitely the best in the series.
For those wigged out by the whole Twilight thing you might enjoy this: http://www.someecards.com/upload/movies/twilight_showed_me.html
Yay! Hi and welcome Kris. Everyone is so great here. Kris is coming to us from Australia so play nice everyone. It will be slow here now until Monday, can you believe these people have lives on the weekends?
“Luke, I am your father” What a great line.
Yeah, yeah, its Star Wars marathon day.
Welcome Kris! Love that card! Have you seen this?
http://www.jinx.com/women/shirts/geek/buffy_staked_edward_womens.html?cs=6&csd=1494
Craig: ROFL. I hadn’t seen it. I want one. You can just see Buffy doing it can’t you and then telling Bella to get the hell over herself. Love it.
Tam: WTF. You invite me over to play and then tell me everyone is just about to go home?? It’s the were-kanga thing, isn’t it? You’re still pissed.
Kris: Yep. I’m not gonna rest until someone writes me a damn book with a shifting kangaroo in it. And he better be hot.
Come back Monday, although as you know I’ll be doing research Monday.
OMG! I would SO read a were-kanga book!!!
*snort* Tam is trying to convince an Aussie author friend to write it for her. He had a plot all worked out and everything, but it fell through in favour of olive oil… it’s a long story.
Olive oil has been done. Were-kanga? Not so much. It would have been revolutionary. I’m still holding out.
Okay, so I’m a little behind, but here’s my take on Twilight (I’m currently trying to stomach Breaking Dawn.):
(My quick opinion, Stephanie Meyer can’t write to save her life and the people who buy the books should be shot. However, the character development is decent and I mean my god, Edward is just hot.)
Twilight: Good, mildly interesting, reminded me of a few things that I remembered from the past which make it better. Edward Cullen is the hottest young man ever. The first “Oh Edward” is muttered aloud while reading, my self respect dies a bit more. “Where are you hot vampire sex???” Bella status: tolerable. Number of times book is thrown across the room in disgust or ecstasy: 5
New Moon: The worst of the 4 (though I haven’t finished Breaking yet.) Edward can still do no wrong, as does my other fav character Jane. Jacob is the single most annoying toolshed that I’ve ever had the displeasure of dealing with. The first 200 pages are like watching paint dry and you just wanna scream, “Where are you any sex???” Bella status: annoying bitch. Number of times book is thrown across the room in disgust or ecstasy: 0, I had to trudge through New Moon.
Eclipse: I was promised that this was better, the best next to Twilight itself. It’s okay, but Bella and Jacob become just, for fuck sakes, every time she mentions either of them I cringe and get sick to my stomach. Jacob needs to take a bullet or 16 from some hunters. More Jane, total plus, and more “Oh Edward,” moments. It was really hard to get through this one, just because it starts to get all sorts of stupid and annoying really quick. “Couldn’t you just put his cock in your mouth already, slut???” Bella status: God, I fucking hate you Bella, just go play in traffic. Number of times book is thrown across the room in disgust or ecstasy: 1 (utter disgust.)
Breaking Dawn: So far, so bad, and I’ve got at least 600 more pages of this crap to go through. Bella Status: Really, just die already please.
Oz: You are brilliant.
Given Mark’s admonition to avoid books with words, and Craig’s stated interest in books about Australian shape-shifting animals, he should be seeking were-kanga-manga.
Funny town names: When I lived in Wisconsin, one of my fellow students had a long-distance relationship with a partner who lived in southern Illinois. Every few weeks, they would spend a weekend together in a small town half-way in between their homes: Effingham, IL.
Then there’s this place in Tucson, Arizona. (Xi_Heather and I have driven by it a couple times — my brother used to live in Tucson — but we’ve never stayed there. No, no, honestly!)
TwoPi: You are a freaking GENIUS! I’ve got the giggles now.
Craig is also a genius.
Hey everyone, first time commenter, long time lurker. I’ve never been one to comment on blogs, but you guys all seem so nice, so I thought that I would give it a try. So here goes, I really liked the Twilight series. Yes, it’s kind of lame(and cheesy), but it’s easy, mindless reading. And it’s fun. I will say that I liked the Sookie Stackhouse books better. And don’t even get me started on the Twilight movie. I’m one of those people who is very rarely happy with the book to screen translation.
And TwoPi: Speaking of funny town names, I live in North Carolina (and went to UNC {Tarheels! woohoo!}) and we have a town here called Climax. It makes me giggle everytime I drive by a sign for it.
Craig’s own “genius” comment came after he’d spent a few hours working on the forthcoming Super Viagra post…. I, for one, can’t wait!!!
Welcome, stacey, to a very friendly place.
Climax? Is it on a mountain peak or something? [I assume Intercourse PA was where the region's meeting hall was, or perhaps the site of some significant debate or public discussion....] Maybe Craig can devote a TMST to exploring the origins of some of these naughty-sounding placenames.
I thought this was a pretty funny run-down of the book: http://otahyoni.livejournal.com/130432.html#cutid1
There is also a Climax, GA. Wow…..2 climaxes!
Kimi: Every girls dream.
Tam – Ha!
I just watched the movie yesterday; hated it (although the end was not as bad as the cheesy Bella/Edward scenes of the first half); I felt like Robert Pattinson’s forehead was going to consume me. Re: the story — what do you expect from a Mormon? (At least in the movie all those gratuitous scenes of Bella acting like a submissive, meal-preparing wife-substitute for her father were omitted.) I wanted the author to finish her book told from the perspective of Edward, but now it’s been leaked online, so she’s given it up. Oh well. I haven’t read it yet, but a friend just forwarded me the link: http://www.stepheniemeyer.com/pdf/midnightsun_partial_draft4.pdf
You made it further than I did. I hated the books so much that I won’t see the movie. If you read an interview with Stephanie Meyers you will really want to stop reading. She is infuriating to anyone that enjoys good literature.
[...] giving up halfway through Stephenie Meyer’s ode to self-loathing, I wanted to read something really fun. When I wrote my review of the Watchmen graphic novel, I [...]
I’m halfway through the first book too….
I’ve seen the movie, and can’t get any further… why are people having to convince me to “push through, it gets better?” When did books become something to be endured like a spin class of hell or a bikini wax?
It almost makes you want to whine like an 8 year old at the thought of continuing…”But I don’t Wannaaaaaaaaaaaaa–!”
I feel it’s just another bandwagon the crowd will get sick of just as I finally cave in….
Like: harry Potter…. twitter, facebook, myspace…..
Help me out here I need to find a way to approach this series that doesn’t involve the mental preparation of a water board torture….=S
[...] that other young adult vampire series, this one was a whole lot of fun. And while the main character doubted herself, she didn’t [...]