by | April 30, 2009 · 7:17 am

Swine Flu – Patient Zero

swineflu
Or maybe it was THIS kid.

76 Comments

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76 Responses to Swine Flu – Patient Zero

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  1. Mark
    April 30, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    Dave S: You said: “My Equus costume is annoyingly chaffing.”

    And: To be blunt — it’s my butt-crack thats not enjoying the costume…

    I have one word for you: “Pictures”!!!!!!!

  2. Tracy
    April 30, 2009 at 12:58 pm

    HA! I don’t know what is funnier…that picture or Dave S.’s first comment!

  3. Dave S.
    April 30, 2009 at 1:09 pm

    I’m bringing my camera tonight — it’s our last rehearsal before the show opens tomorrow.

    Oh, but here’s the thing — three days ago, the director fired the guy playing the orderly at the psychiatric ward. Yeah, *three* days ago! And guess what? Guess who’s suddenly playing the orderly? Me. Shit. Three days to learn lines and blocking for a part I never paid any attention to until now. I think my first incredulous thought was, “Holy shit and fuck me sideways…!” Now I have two roles. Orderly and horse. I went from having fun (somewhat) to a nervous wreck. :-(

  4. Xi_Heather
    April 30, 2009 at 1:11 pm

    john, the Thong Song? The only Thong Song I know is “The Buttcracker Suite” from a Christmas CD we have [Bob Rivers?].

    “Thong: what a delightful gift idea
    Thong: Magical shorts that disappear”

    (Only 6 months until Christmas music season!)

  5. bernd
    April 30, 2009 at 1:12 pm

    Mark, the silence of the chickins is pure genius, rofl

    Dave S, they always assume that all men in theater are gay, thus expect them to have less issues with rubbing in the butt crack.

  6. Dave S.
    April 30, 2009 at 1:13 pm

    bernd: Just don’t tell me that I have to build up a callous…

  7. Mark
    April 30, 2009 at 1:19 pm

    Dave S: I have sooo much to say about your callous comment, but I’m going to bed before I get stupid.

    Did I say before? ;-)

  8. Dave S.
    April 30, 2009 at 1:21 pm

    Mark: LOL. I *so* have to make a trip to Virginia one of these days… :-)

  9. john
    April 30, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    Dave S.: You’ll do fine, worry less and just have fun with it. I’m sure they wouldn’t have given you the extra role if they weren’t confident in your ability.

  10. bernd
    April 30, 2009 at 1:23 pm

    Colorful language alert: Do not read if you are easily offended, at work or still a virgin

    Dave S, no, after getting fucked a couple of times with a really big dick, pain in your butt crack will not be of any importance anymore.

  11. Dave S.
    April 30, 2009 at 1:30 pm

    Umm…yeah. Having a large penis in my butt would definitely be of more concern…

    Thanks for the…uh…perspective.

  12. Amy @ Milk Breath & Margaritas
    April 30, 2009 at 1:32 pm

    AHHHHHHHHHHH! Every Mom instict I have is at terror alert eleventy-billion seeing that! Oh dear God that’s disgusting. And so naturally what a little kid would do.

  13. Tam
    April 30, 2009 at 2:18 pm

    Dave: You’ll be fine. Deep breath.

    Bernd: You always know how to cheer a guy up. Are they letting you back on-line at work? If so … yay!

  14. john
    April 30, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    Oh MY the comments section has gotten quite explicit today.

  15. Tam
    April 30, 2009 at 2:41 pm

    The classic comic The Dark Night – 25 comments

    A kid licking a pig’s snout – 65 comments

    I’d say that pretty much sums up the high brow crowd that visits Puntabulous. :-P

  16. bernd
    April 30, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    Tam, no, unfortunately not, but I’m working from home today because of a cold. I’m playing good corporate citizen and try not to infect my colleagues.

    Dave S, Sorry. You could also try to apply Bodyglide to the affected areas. Nope, this isn’t some lubricant for buttsex but what triathletes, long-distance runners, cyclists use to avoid chafing. Available at your local Sports Authority or some such manly store.

  17. Dave S.
    April 30, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    bernd: Maybe I should just become a zombie. That way, the slime of rotting flesh would likely be lubrication enough…

  18. The Ryan with the Cupcake
    April 30, 2009 at 4:03 pm

    Dave S.: I admire your dedication to the theater, but wouldn’t that interfere with your part? Zombies aren’t known for proficient dialogue or blocking.

  19. Polt
    April 30, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    Craiggers: It has to be dirty, cause wearing a clean jockstrap just looks silly.

    FDot: Happy Birthday man!

    Dave S.: Photos are now a must. And not just of you in the orderly part! And really, if you need anything rubbed on your sensitive hard to reach areas, just remember, even though I’ve just come off vacation, I still have a few leave days left, and I know the way to Columbus. Just sayin….

    And no one in my family, to my knowledge, has ever raised pigs, although I’ve slept with one or two of the two legged kind. And I do enjoy me a ham sandwich.

    HUGS…

  20. bernd
    April 30, 2009 at 4:15 pm

    Thanks Dave S, for your….um… perspective. Becoming a Zombie over Buttsex. We all have our priorities….

  21. Michelle M.
    April 30, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    Happy birthday FDot !

  22. FDot
    April 30, 2009 at 5:50 pm

    Gee…it’s amazing what a lack of shame about shilling for wishes will do for a person.

  23. Chris D.
    April 30, 2009 at 8:13 pm

    I have never raised pigs myself, or had close relatives who raised pigs, that I am aware of. The photo is cute, but a little gross. I am not a big fan of animal slobber. I try to prevent animals from licking my face, and if they lick my hands I feel the need to wash them soon after.

  24. Mel
    May 1, 2009 at 2:27 am

    That photo’s been circulating the intarwebs for a while now. That’s actually me in younger days smooching on my ex. Didn’t know at the time just how much of a swine he was.

  25. TwoPi
    May 1, 2009 at 11:00 am

    When you have to share tongue through the cell bars, it isn’t a good sign.

  26. leilani
    June 1, 2009 at 5:58 pm

    i wanna kill that baby!

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