The Swine Flu Jokes Keep on Coming!

poohswineflu

95 Comments

  • By Craig, April 30, 2009 @ 12:14 pm

    Again, just got this on an email. Source unknown.

  • By Avitable, April 30, 2009 @ 12:16 pm

    That’s funny. Not as great as MY swine flu post today, though.

  • By john, April 30, 2009 @ 12:19 pm

    BWAAA! Don’t bears eat pigs?

    Well, in this site’s comment section, I suppose the reverse is true as well.

    Avitable: That is some funny shit right there (on your blog).

  • By Craig, April 30, 2009 @ 12:25 pm

    ::pulls out iphone to read Avitable at work::

  • By The Ryan with the Cupcake, April 30, 2009 @ 12:29 pm

    Wait, I have to think of witty comments for two posts at the same time?

  • By The Ryan with the Cupcake, April 30, 2009 @ 12:38 pm

    Do you pronounce fucken differently than fuckin’?

  • By Craig, April 30, 2009 @ 12:40 pm

    That was awesome Avitable!

    Ryan: Yeah, that bothered me too. Oh well.

  • By The Ryan with the Cupcake, April 30, 2009 @ 12:42 pm

    Maybe it’s the British spelling. They don’t spell it out on Shameless.

  • By Avitable, April 30, 2009 @ 12:42 pm

    Didn’t mean to hijack your comments. Sorry about that!

  • By Tam, April 30, 2009 @ 1:08 pm

    FUN-NY! Ahhh, swine flu humor day, gotta love it.

  • By Dave S., April 30, 2009 @ 1:17 pm

    Pooh, you evil bastard.

  • By The Ryan with the Cupcake, April 30, 2009 @ 1:28 pm

    Dave S.: Christopher Robin will never see it coming.

  • By Dave S., April 30, 2009 @ 1:34 pm

    Oh, hey! I can already picture the new Pooh horror/porn flick: “Night of the Fucking Dead”

  • By The Ryan with the Cupcake, April 30, 2009 @ 1:38 pm

    Dave S.: I am using every once of my will to not picture that.

  • By Tam, April 30, 2009 @ 2:14 pm

    Come on Ryan, live a little. I’ll confess I haven’t read all of this yet but its all full of delicious gay zombie love.

    http://www.allyblue.com/LoveYouToPieces.html

    Okay, I read parts of it. No one writes zombie-fisting like Ally. (That was a warning for the squeemish.)

  • By The Ryan with the Cupcake, April 30, 2009 @ 2:20 pm

    So many unnecrophiliacs around here.

  • By The Ryan with the Cupcake, April 30, 2009 @ 2:27 pm

    I guess I shouldn’t be surprised considering the number of guides on getting freaky with the unusual we have around here.

  • By Tam, April 30, 2009 @ 2:32 pm

    Hey, if I can’t catch a live one then I guess and undead one will do in a pinch.

  • By The Ryan with the Cupcake, April 30, 2009 @ 2:37 pm

    Wouldn’t an army of animate blow up dolls be more hygenic?

  • By Tam, April 30, 2009 @ 2:38 pm

    I’m still waiting for that robo-bulter Craig was on about.

  • By Craig, April 30, 2009 @ 3:04 pm

    Tam: Learn it, love it! His name is Serge!

    http://en.battlestarwiki.org/wiki/Serge

  • By Dave S., April 30, 2009 @ 3:14 pm

    Serge is such a cute little phallic robot.

    Or is he a cybernetic shmoo?

  • By Tam, April 30, 2009 @ 3:16 pm

    Bah. He doesn’t even have opposable thumbs. Unless he’s got some gadgets that are going to come out of a magical panel, I don’t need a robot to open the door and turn on the dishwasher. Useless. I’ll keep searching.

    Oh and I read Ally’s story, its funny and sweet and a bit gross. Just like zombie love should be. :-) I love her.

  • By The Ryan with the Cupcake, April 30, 2009 @ 3:18 pm

    Tam: Why do you deny your dishwasher robo-strippers? Dishwashers have needs, too.

  • By Nicole, April 30, 2009 @ 3:28 pm

    Soo funny!!!!

  • By Polt, April 30, 2009 @ 4:13 pm

    an ex of mine called me pooh bear. I called him piglet.

    Has nothing really to do with the swine flu joke part of the post, just throwing it out there.

    It’s good to be home. :)

    HUGS>..

  • By The Ryan with the Cupcake, April 30, 2009 @ 4:30 pm

    polt: I think after zombie-fisting and robo-strippers pop up, staying on topic is no longer a priority.

  • By Michelle M., April 30, 2009 @ 4:43 pm

    Wow – just tuned in. Pig hickies, zombie fisting, robo-strippers. Must be Thursday.

  • By BOSSY, April 30, 2009 @ 5:33 pm

    Lord lord lord lord lorrrrrrrrrrrrrd.

  • By FDot, April 30, 2009 @ 5:55 pm

    Hmm…I still can’t quite see how Winnie the Pooh segued into zombie sex acts and metallic strippers.

  • By The Ryan with the Cupcake, April 30, 2009 @ 6:28 pm

    FDot: I blame Dave S.

  • By FDot, April 30, 2009 @ 7:31 pm

    He does make a good scapegoat.

  • By Polt, April 30, 2009 @ 7:59 pm

    wouldn’t that be a scape-horse? :)

    HUGS…

  • By TwoPi, April 30, 2009 @ 8:37 pm

    Little known fact about Dave S.: The “S” stands for scapegoat. (Yes, a rather odd family name, which is why he uses the initial in public intercourse.)

  • By amy @ milk breath and margaritas, April 30, 2009 @ 10:17 pm

    I’m with Bossy.

  • By Marinka, April 30, 2009 @ 10:47 pm

    Swinelet flu!

  • By Mark, May 1, 2009 @ 11:33 am

    Helloooo…elooo…eloo…elo!

  • By bernd, May 1, 2009 @ 12:29 pm

    Seems the cool kids are having a party somewhere and forgot to invite us. Bastards. Snobs

  • By Tam, May 1, 2009 @ 12:37 pm

    I wasn’t invited either. Sigh. Happy May Day. Anyone want to dance around a poll with me?

  • By TwoPi, May 1, 2009 @ 12:45 pm

    Tam: At first I read that as “dance around a Polt”, which also works.

  • By bernd, May 1, 2009 @ 12:55 pm

    Nah, my folk-dancing days are over, Tam but Happy May Day to you to.

    TwoPi, then it would have been ‘the Polt’, because there is only one. They threw away the form after he was finished.

  • By polt, May 1, 2009 @ 1:03 pm

    Why bernd, thank you so much for the compliment. At least I’m taking it as a compliment.

    And normally I would participate, but this past week, I’ve ‘danced’ around many a pole, and had many people ‘dancing’ around me and I’m just a bit tired and need time to recover. not as young a Polt as I used to be. :)

    HUGS…

  • By Tam, May 1, 2009 @ 2:56 pm

    We actually don’t celebrate May Day or whatever its called in Canada. However my e-mail has been really light today since everyone is off in Europe.

    I’m just celebrating Friday. That’s a good reason to dance around a pole.

  • By Michelle M., May 1, 2009 @ 4:12 pm

    What? No new post? I don’t know if I like Craig having a social life…

    Xi_Heather and TwoPi: saw this and thought of you guys:
    http://failblog.org/2009/05/01/street-name-fail-4/

  • By Tam, May 1, 2009 @ 4:24 pm

    I wanna live there and order pizza twice a week. LOL

  • By Ray Ray, May 1, 2009 @ 6:07 pm

    Why Craig! Language! I do believe you just posted an F bomb! I’m shocked! But it’s funny… :)

  • By Xi_Heather, May 1, 2009 @ 7:01 pm

    LOL Michelle M! I love Failblog.

    Tam, I tried replying earlier about how I’d be happy to dance around a pole with you — this was said in the spirit that I used to Morris Dance and for years got up pre-dawn in Madison on May Day to dance the very moment the sun appeared above the horizon — but somehow it kept sounding like a euphemism unless I spent an entire paragraph explaining what I meant (and that would sound silly to explain, wouldn’t it?)

  • By Piglet, May 2, 2009 @ 12:00 am

    DUMB!
    not funny

  • By Ray, May 2, 2009 @ 6:01 am

    Instead of that damn piglet and his shit, can we just put Eeoyore (spelling) out of his misery instead? I have a particular Eeoyore (spelling) that I’d like to let freeze to death in the frosty territory of Hoth and with enough death prayers I’m sure…ugh…I’ve lost my train of thought…I got distracted by thinking of that acoustic version of Single Ladies which I am now in love with…and once again I ate the deadly 7-Eleven tuna…what do you call it?…bio-hazzardess (spelling) material and may not live to see my toenails grow another inch…and I remember that picture of Dave S on his new site with his chest making me a little weak in the knees (it only took me 3 times to spell “knees” right) and I can’t wait for the rest of Puntabulous: The Novel/Story because the beginning was fantabulous and I want Mama Polt to cook a mashed potato and gravy thing, not because I know she’s good at it, just because I love mashed potatoes and gravy and Hayden’s hair always looks like a wig even though I am SO BORED with that show and Tyra is in desperate need of a stylist and oddly whenever I wear the ARGYLE SWEATER my boss got me for Christmas she never shows up and I’m totally freaking over the fact that Cyclops is in the new Wolverine movie and I hope they find someone better than Halle to play Storm if they do a Storm prequel…and um…jelly doughnuts are, like, the bestest…

  • By john, May 2, 2009 @ 7:34 am

    Ray: What was in that tuna? But I totally agree abot the Halle/Storm thing.

  • By Enrico, May 2, 2009 @ 9:11 am

    Tam: I was invited to a May Day pole celebration thing from my professor who taught ‘The Witch in Literature.’ I wanted to go but forgot….

  • By Mark, May 2, 2009 @ 11:03 am

    Oh, that explains it. Upstate doesn’t have modern things like the internets. (sarcasm intended)

    Don’t you hate it when people totally ignore your post topic, and then get pissy when you don’t post for two days?

    LUV YA!

  • By polt, May 2, 2009 @ 12:04 pm

    Mark I was in upstate NY (well, Western NY actually, but that’s upstate also) and I can assure you they DO have Internet access there. Must be some other reason?

    Maybe some dingos took Craiggers’ laptop?

    HUGS…

  • By Mark, May 2, 2009 @ 12:19 pm

    Maybe he doesn’t love us anymore…..I’m scared!

  • By Mark, May 2, 2009 @ 12:24 pm

    What if he met up with some Super Hot guy who told him they could only be together if he dropped all of his puntabulous friends, We’d be lost, unless Amanda took over. That would be our only hope.

  • By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 2, 2009 @ 1:11 pm

    Look’s like Craig made the right choice in not buying a house yet:

    http://yglesias.thinkprogress.org/archives/2009/05/time-to-buy-houses-in-miami.php

  • By The Ryan with the Cupcake, May 2, 2009 @ 1:12 pm

    Mark: Damn that Super Hot Guy. He ruins everything.

  • By Crash, May 2, 2009 @ 2:00 pm

    Your a dork!

  • By Michelle M., May 2, 2009 @ 2:02 pm

    Ray – mmmm… mashed potatoes. Mmmmashed potatoes. And that wig is terribly distracting.

    Here’s a little something to tide everyone over until Craig returns:
    http://www.mmckee.net/pictures/davehorse.jpg
    (Thanks, Dave S.)

  • By Miku Takeshi, May 2, 2009 @ 2:08 pm

    haha I love stuff like this =P

  • By polt, May 2, 2009 @ 3:44 pm

    If I met up with a Super Hot Guy (again) and could only be with him if I dropped my Puntabulous friends, I’d lie and say I would just so I could have him. But I could never give you guys up, not even for a Super Hot Guy!

    Now a Really Super Hot Asian Guy With A Hairthing…..well that’s another story. :)

    HUGS…

  • By polt, May 2, 2009 @ 3:45 pm

    Oooo, Michelle M. that photo reminds me of the centaur in the shower thingee Craiggers went ga-ga over before! Maybe he’ll go ga-ga-go-go over this one?

    HUGS….

  • By polt, May 2, 2009 @ 3:46 pm

    Oh, and yeah, thanks from me too, Dave S. ! :)

    HUGS…

  • By Enrico, May 2, 2009 @ 4:37 pm

    “With a hairthing”! LOL!

  • By Tam, May 2, 2009 @ 4:48 pm

    Great pic Michelle. Love it.

    Give up Puntabufriends? Can’t be done.

  • By Craig, May 2, 2009 @ 5:01 pm

    There may be a super hot guy in my life, but he understands you guys are my first love ;-)

  • By Polt, May 2, 2009 @ 5:52 pm

    There MAY be….Craiggers, that whole sentence of yours there just SCREAMS for more details. Screams like the stupid blond cheerleader in ANY slasher flick.

    HUGS…

  • By rastafootsoldier, May 2, 2009 @ 6:27 pm

    ***breaking news:
    Pit Street in Glasgow, Scotland has been sealed off due to swine flu, local people worry about officers in the police station

  • By Tam, May 2, 2009 @ 6:52 pm

    You know you’re going to have to introduce him sooner or later Craig. We’re like the parents you wish you never had. Telling embarrassing stories and asking what his intentions are. Guess I should have gone on your date as a chaperone huh?

  • By Enrico, May 2, 2009 @ 9:24 pm

    Hot indeed ;)

  • By whatismyname, May 4, 2009 @ 9:36 am

    OMG that is hilarious. Swine flu is funny.

    Friend of mine forwarded me this post which is funny too:
    http://minivanmonologues.blogspot.com/2009/04/oink-if-you-have-swine-flu.html

  • By maddie, May 4, 2009 @ 2:31 pm

    gosh i found this rather funny, didnt we becs.

    It was once said that a black man would be president “when pigs fly.” Indeed, 100 days into Obama’s presidency…. SWINE FLEW

  • By becs, May 4, 2009 @ 2:36 pm

    indeed we did maddie,
    haha, you do make me rofl.

  • By Swine foo, May 5, 2009 @ 1:28 am

    This pic is the same one that is on swine foo. They also have a couple other funny swine flu jokes and pics. Worth a look

  • By penis vajay, May 5, 2009 @ 8:14 am

    wtf you have no life this shit serious it aint funni

  • By jack, May 5, 2009 @ 12:34 pm

    Haaa, lol, my joke- i rang up the swine flu helpline earlier, but all i got was a load of crackling :D lol

  • By Thomas Boucher, May 5, 2009 @ 4:37 pm

    that was so lol funny lol i loved it like i was gay omg like for real

  • By Rebecca (British), May 6, 2009 @ 3:53 pm

    It’s not fucken – It is Fucking xxx

  • By Andrew, May 6, 2009 @ 9:13 pm

    fucken, fuckin’, fucking – who gives a shit? Fucken is an aussie slang version and is fucken funnier than spelling it right. and that’s from a writer living in Australia…

  • By Tom, May 7, 2009 @ 5:58 am

    Q : What’s the difference between the World Health Organization and a US navel pilot on covert operations in 1961?

    A: One’s mission is to keep pig flu at bay….and the other flew missions to the Bay Of Pigs!!!!

  • By Lauren, May 8, 2009 @ 4:25 pm

    I went to the doctors the other day.
    I said: I feel a bit itchy on my arm here Doc.
    He said: Okay, I’ll give you some OINKment.

    xD I’m hilarious!

  • By Hugh Jorgan, May 10, 2009 @ 3:08 am

    “Swine Flu”, …I wonder how muslims feel about catching it ? They probably thinking “Behead all the unclean porkers !” hissing & snarling & waving placardsin their usual “state of perpetual outrage”. Sincerely, Grand Kaffur of Infidelistan.

  • By Hugh Jorgan, May 10, 2009 @ 3:09 am

    Phoned up the Health Services for advice on swine flu..but, on the phone all I could hear was this crackling.

  • By Hugh Jorgan, May 10, 2009 @ 3:26 am

    Wait a minute ! I think I’ve got ‘Swine Flu’, I’ve broken out in a rasher. This joke was politically incorrect recently, in a school in Gloucester, England. These days in England, one daren’t fart, cough, SNEEZE ! ‘offend muslims, offend Polish persons, Ukrainians, or complain of Somali’s let in under asylum laws who then rape your daughters.

  • By Steven, May 11, 2009 @ 5:03 am

    How did the pig get off the roof? The swine Flu!!!!

  • By Cheech, May 11, 2009 @ 4:00 pm

    I just heard famous muppet Kermit the frog died of swine flu. Last words were “That frikkin pig told me she was clean!!!”

  • By megan, May 12, 2009 @ 3:36 pm

    the britich do pronounce fuckin the same way as you so shut up ryan

  • By Nick, May 12, 2009 @ 8:57 pm

    lol

  • By Matt, May 15, 2009 @ 6:30 pm

    I’m from Gloucester and about as un pc as you can get any idea what sad school that was.

  • By John Georginson, May 17, 2009 @ 1:58 pm

    The big bad wolf says “I will huff and I will puff and I will blow your house
    down!” and the little pig replies “yeah well if you do that I will sneeze on you!”
    XDXDXDXDXDXDXD I thought the winnie the poo joke was immense btw!

  • By Henry R., June 14, 2009 @ 10:15 pm

    Check out this actual swine flu dessert. gross: http://apocalypsecakes.wordpress.com/2009/06/14/leviticus-i-told-you-so-aporkalypse-pie/

  • By Belinda van Bockxmeer, June 28, 2009 @ 7:37 pm

    How do girls wear there hair if diagnosed with swine flu in pig tails.Where do you deposit the money for a cure for swine Flu in a piggy bank.Whats the quickest way to get to the doctor via a butcher if you are suspected of having swine flu on a pigs trotter.Who was the best girl friend for kermit the frog when he was diagnosed with swine flu miss piggy

  • By Belinda van Bockxmeer, June 28, 2009 @ 7:38 pm

    This website is groovy

Other Links to this Post

  1. Daily Digest for May 1st — MolluskOrg — May 1, 2009 @ 7:10 am

  2. Swine - Old Skool Anthemz — May 2, 2009 @ 7:07 pm

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